Alice in Benghazi

Now, I’m not going so far as to say that somebody’s lying around here. You can determine that for yourself:

“You know, Barack doesn’t have a big ego,” First Lady Michelle Obama, said. “That would kind of be the last thing that I would think of when I talk about my husband is big ego, because he doesn’t have that.”

The First Lady added, “You see this in, you know, how he leads the country, I mean, he is very open to other people’s opinions. And he’s always willing to compromise and he’s always, always listening.”

And if you believe that, you’ll probably also believe that Big Guy’s “ego” is really this BIG:

…and that these are “toned guns.”

Because you see, even with smoke and *ahem* mirrors, we can’t do this without help. Which is to say, without the State Run Media (SRM).

"He did call it an act of terror,"   

Butt gosh, it’s fun being part of this administration: – every day is like being at one of Alice’s Tea Parties in the Rose Garden. Every. Single. Day.

Chapter VIII, The Queen's Croquet-Ground, by Lewis Carroll:

'A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red.'

“Since our founding, the United States has been a nation that respects all faiths.  We reject all efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others.  But there is absolutely no justification to this type of senseless violence.”

Barack Obama, Rose Garden, September 12

Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like that!'

“Some have thought to justify this vicious behavior along with the protests that took place at our embassy in Cairo yesterday as a response to inflammatory material posted on the Internet.”

Hillary Rodham Clinton, Secretary of State September 12

`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged my elbow.'

“Our belief based on the information we had was that it was the video that caused the unrest in Cairo and the video that — and the unrest in Cairo that helped — that precipitated some of the unrest in Benghazi and elsewhere.”

Jay Carney

On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!'

“Our commitment to religious tolerance goes back to the very beginning of our nation. But let me be clear: There is never any justification for violent acts of this kind.”

Hillary Clinton

 

`YOU'D better not talk!'said Five. `I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

“Well, we're still doing an investigation, and there are going to be different circumstances in different countries. And so I don’t want to speak to something until we have all the information. What we do know is that the natural protests that arose because of the outrage over the video were used as an excuse by extremists to see if they can also directly harm U.S. interests.”

President Obama at a town hall event broadcast on Univision

`What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

“What this began as was a spontaneous, not a premeditated, response to what happened transpired in Cairo.” “We believe that folks in Benghazi, a small number of people, came to the embassy to — or to the consulate rather — to replicate the sort of challenge that was posed in Cairo. And then, as that unfolded, it seems to have been hijacked, let us say, by some individual clusters of extremists who came with heavier weapons.”

Susan E. Rice, American ambassador to the U.N., on “This Week With George Stephanopoulos”

`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

“America will not tolerate attacks against our citizens and against our embassies. We’ll defend also our constitutional rights of speech and assembly and religion.

We have confidence in our cause in America. We respect our Constitution. We stand for the principles our Constitution protects. We encourage other nations to understand and respect the principles of our Constitution, because we recognize that these principles are the ultimate source of freedom for individuals around the world.

I also believe the administration was wrong to stand by a statement sympathizing with those who had breached our embassy in Egypt, instead of condemning their actions. It’s never too early for the United States government to condemn attacks on Americans and to defend our values.”

Mitt Romney, September 12

`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

“The White House distanced itself last night from the statement, saying it wasn’t cleared by Washington. That reflects the mixed signals they’re sending to the world.

The attacks in Libya and Egypt underscore that the world remains a dangerous place and that American leadership is still sorely needed. In the face of this violence, American cannot shrink from the responsibility to lead. American leadership is necessary to ensure that events in the region don’t spin out of control. We cannot hesitate to use our influence in the region to support those who share our values and our interests.”

Mitt Romney, September 12

Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are painting those roses?'

We were sitting around talking about Libya, and we were reading and became aware of reports that the State Department refused extra security for our embassy in Benghazi, Libya, prior to the attacks that killed four Americans. Who was it that denied enhanced security and why?

Kerry Ladka, Town Hall Debate

Five and Seven said nothing,

          

but looked at Two.

Two began in a low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;

While onions and tulip bulbs look remarkably similar to the untrained eye, if you plant the wrong one in the Arab Spring, you’ll likely to be a bit surprised by the fall harvest.

and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces.

Director of National Intelligence James Clapper's office issued an unusual public statement, which described how the picture that intelligence agencies presented to U.S. policymakers had "evolved" into an acknowledgement that the attacks were "deliberate and organized" and "carried out by extremists."

There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

My, that’s a nice crease in his trousers!

“Have you seen my lovely red roses?”

To be continued…

Linked By: Blonde Gator here and on NewsBusters, and MRM and AnnieLaurie and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and Mireille Buser on facebook, and airgunbuff1 on The Blood Eagle, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Game Show Host Candy was Dandy

Whenever the moderator of the debate is the main story, you know you’ve got a problem.  Or as the Romans used to say “who fact checks the fact checkers?”

I don’t think it an exaggeration to say that by pulling BO’s man-parts out of the fire of Benghazi-gate that  “Candy lied and journalism died.”

Okay, I’m calling this one for the President. Any objections? Hearing none, let’s continue.

I’m sorry Mr. Romney, instant re-plays weren’t in your contract

I know most people believe main stream “journalism” has been been “weekending at Bernie’s” for a long time now butt this flag on the play might have effectively pulled the plug on the life support system, thus putting all of the Obamacare death panel rules into effect for the next debate.

To her credit, Candy did review the call – after the game of course, so as not to upset the play – and decided it was a legal tackle and not unnecessary roughness after all.

Butt the score stands. Because that’s how we do it in professional journalism. So man up, for crying out loud!

Your chestnuts are safe for now

And speaking of manning up, BO got a pat on the head and extra treats for not debating with his lady parts.

Good boy, Buh-rock, good boy.

Pink was the ladies’ choice last night:

Can you spot the real kiss vs. the stage kiss?

Because pink softens you, and makes you seem less threatening, which Ann can be sometimes.

 

Anyway, calling a clear winner in last night’s throw down has proved more difficult than originally anticipated by the pre-game press releases. It would be easier if the scoring was simply fact based, because here’s the rough score: Big Guy was wrong on natural gas permits, wrong on coal, wrong on the price of gas, wrong on jobs, jobs, jobs!, wrong on GM, wrong on Keystone pipeline, wrong on immigration, wrong on AK-47’s and horribly, willfully wrong on Benghazi-gate.

And Mitt was wrong on agreeing to the terms of Candy’s Corner. So it’s a draw.

Because these “debates” are scored on style not substance, by those rules, lying is never a negative if you are a Democrat, and it serves your purpose. And this is a rule BO’s lived by his entire life so he did have the advantage going in.

So while all the loyal fans stuck with him, the most important demographic last night - undecided independents were not so easily won over.  And while Axe-man and the rest of the gang were delighted that they managed to whip their boy (is that racist?) into shape for the big rumble, the only spectators who counted didn’t seem as amazed by BO’s performance as were his handlers.

And if Frank Luntz is to be believed, Big Guy’s got a little more homework to do between now and Monday since they all thought Romney won. And oh my! Even Ms.NBC’s undecided panel sounds to me like they’re leaning Romney. Although it didn’t sound that way to Chrissy trickle-down-pants. He thought it was a draw; butt then again he was operating under the fog of war; or something.

This is not going to go well for Big Guy if all the “undecideds” decide to believe their own lyin’ eyes instead of the game show host who decided to call the debate for Big Guy.

Uh, they did, Mark.

And here are the official results! Candy calls it for the Eye-Candy!

Of course, there’s always going to be Monday morning quarterbacks who have the benefit of calling the game after reviewing all the plays:

 “Obama did not forfeit the debate as last time, and took his cue from Joe Biden in interrupting and muttering while Romney spoke, so his energy made it an entertaining night. Nevertheless, the same theme as in Denver emerged — Romney more often providing specific proposals and detailed critiques, and Obama preferring more often emoting and running more on hypotheticals, as if he were not an incumbent with a depressing record that he is obligated to defend.

A key moment was Libya, and that is bad for the Obama cause, even if Romney let Obama slightly off the hook. Obama frowned and got defensive and then blew it by disingenuous explanations — claiming that almost immediately after the attack, he had labeled it an act of terrorism, omitting that on numerous occasions in the next two weeks he most certainly did not say that clearly at all, and declared either that it was the fault of a video or that he did not have enough information.”

Boy, those Republicans are sore losers, aren’t they?

Lady M, appalled by the audacity of the dope – Governor Romney that is.

So, what do you say? Can we agree that from now on we’ll do these “debates” with no moderators, no umpires, no refs?

And no potted plants?

Because Candy was dandy, butt liquor’s still quicker.

Linked By: NeverSurrender on Tammy Bruce, and Anonymous Coward on Godlike Productions, and chickie on LiberalForum, andBlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Get Your Kettlecorn and Ketle One on

As we all head into the Presidential Town Hall Meeting with Candy Crowley, keep in mind the fact that – despite the huge mess he inherited from George W. Bush – Big Guy has somehow managed to lead us to this HUGE recovery.

Lady M pointed this out last Friday when she appeared on the Pablo & Free Show (on WPGC, a Washington, D.C. area hip-hop radio station):

Pablo: “Mrs. Obama, you know what, in your words, tell us what you think the state of the union is in right now?”

Lady M: “I mean, we are seeing right now that we are in the midst of a huge recovery. Right? Because of what this president has done.”

Investors Business Daily was good enough to illustrate her point for her:

So I hope Governor Romney keeps this in mind tonight as he spars with the Won we’d been waiting for.

So I’d suggest you follow CCG’s advice: popcorn, kettle corn and Ketel Won. Enjoy.

Butt drink responsibly. Somebody has to.

Town Hall: Debate Like Your Man Parts Depend On It

“I couldn't wait for Election Day!”

Me either!

And neither should you:

Obama and first lady Michelle Obama said Monday they are both voting early, a nod to the campaign’s efforts to encourage supporters to vote absentee by mail or cast their ballot at an early voting location.

Preferably before any more of those pesky debates, and only as a warm up for your second and third on-site voting later on.

Obama’s campaign said it was the first time a presidential nominee and his spouse will not vote in person on Election Day, reflecting their emphasis on early voting in several key battleground states.

Then MO took her new mustard and mayonnaise sweater to Delaware,Ohio to hustle the early votes that Big Guy needs to WTF:

“He put his faith in the American people. He fought hard to protect jobs for American families. That’s why today the auto industry is back.

Headed back to bankruptcy court that is. Only this time, there’s nothing left for the Union to siphon from the rightful shareholders, which is a good thing because, as a taxpayer, that’s you!

“When it comes to understanding the concerns of women, my husband will always have our back. He will always fight that we as women can make our own decisions about our bodies.”

Except, of course, when we decide you’ll be better off “just taking the pain pill” - as a  very empathetic BO told Jane Strum.

“I could go on and on an on [tell me about it!],but here’s what I really want you to know. He knows the American dream because he’s lived it. And he’s fighting every day so everyone in this country can have that same opportunity,”

Except those who have already worked hard to realize the American dream; he wants them to give it back because they can afford a little more to help Big Guy spread the wealth around.

Butt back to current affairs, everyone’s nervous around here about tonight’s big throw-down: Eye-candy meets Mind-candy. Tonight’s “debate” will be refereed by the very competent neither Eye-or-Mind-Candy Crowley.

Candy, giving the commencement address at the Maharishi University of Management; from which she also holds an honorary degree in “chillin’”.

I can tell you however that Lady M completely approved of her as town hall moderator pick, as she’s a big fan of Candy. Not only is she totally onboard with our Let’s Move! and Healthy Eating programs, butt she really walks the talk too, as she is a committed vegetarian. Who ever would've guessed?

Anyway, I understand TOTUS has been busy prepping for the “debate” too. And since he’s sensitive about remaining neutral now days, he prepared several debate pointers for each candidate. Here’s one I saw him loading for Governor Romney:

“Please, Ms. Crowley, don’t interrupt us. This debate is intended to allow people to ask the President and I questions and then hear our answers. You interruptions are making that very difficult.”

That should help get things off on the right foot. Although we can’t be sure Mitt will read it. He’s not quite comfortable with TOTUS being everywhere yet.

And for Big Guy, in addition to all of the regular “stuff” that will be loaded and much more accessible to BO in this format, TOTUS has prepared his scroll to start with this helpful reminder that we just got in from Chicago:  “Don’t debate with your lady parts tonight!”

While debating with his man parts will be his biggest challenge to date, at least we got one problem taken off the table pre-debate: Hillary has taken full-responsibility for the Benghazi fiasco that led to an “unplanned” terrorist attack, regrettable death of our Ambassador and 3 of his aides and an unbelievably amateurish coverup.

Speaking from Lima (no, not Ohio, Peru), Hilz blamed the “fog of war” for it taking 1 month, 4 days and 37 stories to finally pin the tale on the donkey.

And no, there’s no truth to the rumor she will be seeking political asylum in Peru. To ensure her safe return, Bill Dawg agreed to do a hostage tape commercial for Big Guy’s reelection campaign. If you didn’t see it you can watch it here. TOTUS did a special, streamlined cut:

 

Original ad here

So good luck to everyone tonight, and may the best, and real man win!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Obama: Cramming To Prevent Another “Abyssmal” Performance

Big Guy’s holed up at a five-star waterfront resort in Virginia to cram for his “debate” with Candy Crowley on Tuesday.

Obama aides said the president was clear-eyed about the need to have a better showing in his second debate with Romney. After a listless first performance, Obama was focused on delivering more pointed and aggressive responses.

Other players include Anita “Mao is my Lord and Savior” Dunn.

BO, AXE-Man, Anita doing pre-pre-debate drills in the Oval

She’s playing the part of Candy “Romney/Ryan is some kind of Republican death wish” Crowley.

They don’t look anything alike butt they both worship totalitarian dictators.

Calling Professor Jacobson: I think I’ve been libeled(?) or slandered(?)! Help!

So that sounds about right. Unfortunately  John Kerry is still reporting for duty despite being responsible for BO’s “listless” (as the SRM likes to call it) performance in the first debate.

“This is like a toothache.”

Seriously, he should have known that when working with a mind as brilliant and lithe as Big Guy’s you have to go the extra mile to engage and entertain challenge him.

Hey! I could use one of these to dam up the deficit. Let’s move it to Washington!

Otherwise you run the risk of making homework seem like a “drag.”

Butt obviously both BO and Big John have learned a lot since the last debate because Big Guy  reports that prep is “going great” this time. And he still found time to drop in on the local campaign office to deliver a few pizzas,

make a few robo-calls:

Hi, baby. It’s me again. I’m bored.

There’s really only one problem: the longer this drags out the more Mitt’s beginning to look younger.

More presidential.

Even in the rain.

While Big Guy is beginning to look more like, well, an aging pizza guy:

And a none-too-talented robo-caller.

What are these funny little buttons? Can I try the iPhone again?

Butt let’s focus on some exciting non-political news for a change: did you see that Felix Baumgarter went where no man has ever gone before?

That’s right, right off Big Guy’s fiscal cliff and into the abyss: Fortunately he survived.

It’s giving me new HOPE: maybe we will too.

Romney: not only can he spell math, butt he can use it in a sentence that makes sense.

Linked By: Mommy Life, and MRM and AnnieLaurie on twitter, and HELENK on The Crawdad Hole, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

The Revolution Will NOT Be Televised

 

For What It’s Worth (Buffalo Springfield)

 

What’s this you ask? Treason? Sedition? Lies, lies, lies!?

“The Obama-Democrat Left has mounted the first successful counter-revolution -- against the American Revolution -- in our history. Using an incessant series of attacks by a fifth column, the intent of the counter-revolution is to eradicate the effects of the American Revolution. The most magnificent society ever created hangs in the balance.” (READ the whole thing. That is a direct order.)

“The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
In 4 parts without commercial interruption.”

My, my, my: how that crazy Right Wing over-reacts! There they go again, entirely mis-misunderstanding the role of the State Run Media (SRM) in squelching bad news about the economy, unemployment, terrorism, corruption,and incompetence. They’re simply trying to help keep things calm so they can carry on. Otherwise,there will be rioting in our streets.

The Occupiers just served as an early warning system

So now we have the current Right Wing outrage du jour over that messy little une affaire d'etat in Libya. Clearly an al-Qaida led terrorist attack on U.S. sovereign territory on the anniversary of 9/11 would not prove helpful to Team-Obama, so the SRM happily bought into the “Look, over there – an Islamophobic movie!” meme as cover. As usual, the Right Wing was having none of it.

So right on cue, there they were, the Republicans; still trying to make a big “f***ing” deal out of all this. Finally, as Mark Steyn explains, our deputy campaign manager set them all straight:

"The entire reason that this has become the political topic it is, is because of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan."

“If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.”

Thus, Stephanie Cutter, President Obama's deputy campaign manager, speaking on CNN about an armed attack on the 9/11 anniversary that left a U.S. consulate a smoking ruin and killed four diplomatic staff, including the first American ambassador to be murdered in a third of a century. To discuss this event is apparently to "politicize" it and to distract from the real issues the American people are concerned about. For example, Obama spokesperson Jen Psaki, speaking on board Air Force One on Thursday: "There's only one candidate in this race who is going to continue to fight for Big Bird and Elmo, and he is riding on this plane."

“If you don't have a record to run on…you make a big election about small things.”

 

Obviously, Miss Cutter is right: A healthy mature democracy should spend its quadrennial election on critical issues like the Republican Party's war on puppets rather than attempting to "politicize" the debate by dragging in stuff like foreign policy, national security, the economy and other obscure peripheral subjects. But, alas, it was her boss who chose to "politicize" a security fiasco and national humiliation in Benghazi. (snip)

There was no demonstration against an Islamophobic movie that just got a little out of hand. Indeed, there was no movie protest at all. Instead, a U.S. consulate was destroyed and four of its personnel were murdered in one of the most sophisticated military attacks ever launched at a diplomatic facility.

So now we need to focus on determining who to blame this mess on and - uh, oh! Some members of Team-Obama are apparently more expendable than others!

White House spokesman Jay Carney told reporters during a press conference Friday that responsibility for the consulate in Libya fell on the State Department, not the White House.

Leading some people think it’s Hil who’s going to be offered up to fall on Big Guy’s sword for him:

“Uhhhhh, sorry Hil, butt your marks don’t look so good this quarter.”

In an exclusive interview with The Daily Caller, Klein said sources close to the Clintons tell him that Bill Clinton has assembled an informal legal team to discuss how the Secretary of State should deal with the issue of being blamed for not preventing the Benghazi terrorist attack last month.

Personally I don’t think that’s the way to go. Not that anyone’s asked for my opinion; butt seriously, Big Dawg has a lot more clout around town than BFF Susan Rice ever will.

Now, it seems, that Team Obama has decided to try and save U.N. ambassador Susan Rice — whose reputation in the IC could hardly be lower — and perhaps press secretary Jay Carney as well by tossing the nation’s spooks under the bus, in which direction they’re also nudging Hillary Clinton.

But you can’t burn all your friends, and the Obama forces already have a lot fewer allies than they think they do. The disrespectful way they treated former White House chief of staff William Daley is likely to come back to haunt them in the graveyards of Chicago, and the bad blood between them and the Clintons hasn’t gone away, despite Bill’s bonhomie at the convention.

That “haunt them in the graveyards of Chicago” has me worried. In order for us to WTF, we need a humungous turnout from those “graveyards of Chicago.”

And let’s not forget, bonhomie evaporates pretty quickly in this town, and if Hil turns up with tire tracks on her back Bubba might suddenly remember at least one President who could have done a much better job with the economy than little BO has.

“Yeah, Obama? We don’t call him “Zero” for nuthin’

I don’t know how this is going to turn out butt seriously, you would thing that Mark Steyn wouldn’t be the only one who smells an opportunity around here:

Surely, even among Obama’s media sycophants, there must be someone who recognizes that all the cushy court eunuch posts are filled and, rather than being the umpteenth extra in the crowd scene, there’s a reputation, a Pulitzer and maybe a movie deal to be made here.

All the President’s Men used to work on their investigative journalist skills.

Of course, “investigative journalism” used to mean independently digging up facts to expose the truth to the light of day. Now all it requires is showing up for the daily talking points.That’s probably why the Pulitzer isn’t what it used to be either.

“The revolution WILL put you in the driver's seat.
The revolution will not be televised,

WILL not be televised,WILL NOT BE TELEVISED.

The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.”

The next revolution begins November 6. Don’t miss it.

NOTE: For an interesting, and related, Sunday read Camille Paglia explains how far Liberals have wandered off the reservation and why the revolution now belongs to the Right in this Salon interview.

“Over the last 20 years, freedom has become a conservative watch word, and liberals have lost their claim to it. There is a huge difference between contemporary upper-middle-class bourgeois Democratic liberalism and the fire-breathing 1960s leftism that was the mood of my college years. After all, it all began with the free speech movement at Berkeley! But liberals have now been trained to be docile and obedient.”

AND ONE FINAL NOTE: You will likewise not want to miss Doug Ross’s excellent explanation of Joey B’s behavior: Biblical Passages Explain Joe Biden’s Embarrassing Debate Performance.

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!