I Want My Al-TV, part 2: Money for Nothing

Our Al-TV Qatar hero shows us how it’s done: please turn on your traveling music.

Money For Nothing: Dire Straits

 

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the AL-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb

Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install some microwave ovens

Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's

See the little faggot with the earring and the make-up
Yeah buddy that's his own hair

That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators

We gotta move these color TV's

I shoulda' learned to play the guitar
I shoulda' learned to play them drums

Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera
Man we could have some fun

And he's up there, what's that ? Hawaiian noises ?

Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

We gotta install ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's, Lord

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the Al-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' get your chicks for free

Money for nothin' get chicks for free

 

Oh yeah, boyz, that’s soooo the way you do it.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Bi-cameral WINNING! That’s not Bi-polar, that’s Bi-Winning.

My, we’re certainly feeling our tiger blood today aren’t we?

            

Odd, I didn’t think that Charlie Sheen would still be relevant on any level in 2013. Butt like they say, there’s nothing like the smell of WINNING in the morning. And apparently it doesn’t matter whether you’re stoned or not.

          

How can you not WIN when you’re made of tiger blood and Adonis DNA? That’s a potent formula guaranteed to bring your weak enemies to their knees, bowing to the Great Obama at last.

Finally, Big Guy’s made the greedy, rich, evil Republicans see the world through his eyes:

From each according to his means, to each according to his ego’s need

Congratulations Barack! Now that you’ve WON-WON, what are you going to do?

“I’m going to Hawaii!!! To finish my vacay, play a little golf, have a little ‘me-time.’ Woo-hoo!!!”

“Don’t worry though, I’ll be working on getting that debt ceiling raised all the way there.”

Just before departing on Air Force Won to complete his well earned second Christmas vacation, Big Guy issued the following statement:

“For the first time in 20 years, Congress will have acted on a bipartisan basis to vote for significant new revenue.

“This means millionaires and billionaires will pay their fair share to reduce the deficit through a combination of permanent tax rate increases and reduced tax benefits.”

Only two problems there: millionaires and billionaires are already paying more than their “fair” share; and it’s not going to reduce the deficit. Other than that, it totally looks like a WINNING strategy – if your strategy is to be more like Greece. Or France.

So, 2013 is off and running; promising another fun-packed year of political hijinks. Just to kick things off, I’m awarding my first political-snark-of-the-year award to Louie Gohmert for his compliment to his Democratic colleagues yesterday as they passed the first bi-annual fiscal cliff avoidance bill:

10:07 p.m. ET - On the House floor, Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas thanks Democrats for "finally recognizing that 98% of Americans were helped by the Bush tax cuts." The fiscal cliff bill will extend the Bush-era tax breaks for households making under $450,000 per year and individuals making under $400,000 per year.

That certainly locks all Congressional Democrats into contention for WINNING the 2013  “I was against the bill, before I was for it” award.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Happy New Year, 2013!

Happy New Year everyone! We’ve made it through one Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year and are on to a new one.

McConnell and Biden broker a new fiscal deal; same as the old fiscal deals

So while the world just keeps on turning, I turn back the hands of time and wrap up my year in review with my Best of, July-December edition. Please feel free to add your own favorites to the list.

July: Pay for Play

In which MOTUS learns that both the Big White Calligrapher and the staff “Ethics Advisor” earn more than she does. How can that be ethical?

August: It’s Half Time in America: Are You Feeling Lucky?

In which we assess Big Guy’s ability to move the ball downfield (hint: pretty good, as long as  the “Media is on Deck” wink, wink).

September: a tie, between Howdy, Messina, in which we get into the spirit of the “Meme Messina” moment;

and Hey Obama! Orwell called. He wants 1984 back. In which we watch the developing empty chair meme at the UN.

October: What Didn’t He Know and When Didn’t He Know It?

No further commentary required.

 

November: Ah, too many to choose from: No Jam Today, It’ll Be a One Term Proposition and Everybody Knows – our musical interlude commemorating the emperor’s win.

Butt my personal favorite was Leaving Las Vegas, With Your Money in which Big Guy auditions for the lead in Godfather IV,

"Don't be so f***in' smart. Things could've gone the other way, my little nephew." Sopranos: Season 2, Episode 2: "Do Not Resuscitate"

And wrapping up the year, December also brought a tie between Tea Today, Jam Tomorrow. As Always, and perhaps the post that wraps the year up best: The Lunatics Are In Your “House.”

As witnessed last night, they still are.

Butt hey! Happy 2013! There will always be lunatics, we just need to get back to the habit of locking them up where they’ll no longer be a danger to themselves and others.

Guilty

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

A Very Special MOTUS Retrospective: the Best of 2012

It’s New Year’s Eve (or “NYE” as the media has recently decided to abbreviate it now that everybody texts everything) and MOTUS is saving herself for the stroke of midnight.

So in the spirit of our lazy legislators and deliberately remiss journolists I’m doing my “best of 2012” - half today, and half tomorrow! I’m not sure if that’s a two-fer or a four-fer, butt it’s definitely a replay.

So please enjoy these memories from the vaults of MOTUS as the clock strikes midnight and  we all turn into pumpkins, thanks to our do-nothing Congress.

(God bless their little hearts; someday we’ll all come to the realization that we’d be better off if they NEVER did anything.)

So let’s tackle this past year from the top:

January: Bitch Stole My Look!®

In which we witness the Oscar contenders emulating Lady M’s fashion forwardness.

February: Karl Loves the Wons 

In which Karl Lagerfeld endorses Big Guy and Lady M’s reelection since, as he so diplomatically put it, “… I want Mr. Obama who I think is very okay— because there is nothing better anyway — [to be re-elected], especially because of her."

March: Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons

In which we join Lady M for the annual Rites of Spring in her Garden of Good and Evil where she plants the seeds of future revolution.

April: Out of the Darkness: Hot Dogs!

In which we discover that nobody actually read Big Guy’s first authorized autobiography.

May: Hitler Discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song. ‘Nuf said.

 

June: Molsterman Report #1: DOJ’s Fast and Furiously Expanding Scandal 

In which the Molsterman first appears and reports on the round-the-clock shredding going on at Fast and Furious ground zero: the DOJ.

         

To be continued…

Be sure to get your Cinderella Pumpkins on Amazon before the price goes up at midnight.

Oh, and if you plan on celebrating our new pumpkin status tonight…let’s be careful out there. You don’t want to wake up feeling like you ate a bale of cotton.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Peers-More-Gun

What? Is the War on Women over?

Who won? Oh…sorry, that’s a trick question.

My! What a lovely petticoat, Mizz Michelle! And your dress is lovely too.

Anyway, I guess we’ve tabled the WOW to take up arms (so to speak) against the guns.The “War on Guns” – that’s a whole new kind of irony, even for the Left.

Lady M: still bravely declaring the right to bare arms against a rising tide of opposition

I know you’ve been following this controversy, and it seems the country is divided along two lines: those who believe the Second Amendment guarantees our right to bear arms, and  those who prefer that murderers commit their crime the old fashioned way, by pushing people onto the track of oncoming trains.

Either way, controversy has erupted over whether we should ban “assault rifles” and “high capacity magazines” specifically or hand guns in general. As you know our betters (most Democratic politicians and all of the talking heads) favor the latter, because, well, because it’s just “common sense,” right? The masses can never be trusted with guns:

In fact the Left has the same attitude toward the people they refer to as “the masses” as medieval lords had toward the peasantry; peasants with weapons could storm the castle.(snip)

The editors end the way these “conversations” usually do:

“If LaPierre and the NRA truly want to make meaningful contributions, they should have the grace, decency and good sense to get out of the way. They've dominated the debate over gun violence for decades. And they've failed.”

Translation: “shut up.”  We know what’s best for you.  (h/t Instapundit)

And now British ex-pat Piers Morgan is threatening to self-deport if America doesn’t outlaw the weapons that he finds offensive. Boy, talk about a Win-Win!

“I’m outta here, whether you beg me to stay or not.”

I don’t know where he’d go though, Britain doesn’t want him back. Plus, it’s not like Britain is exactly a haven of peace and tranquility these days either. Since the Brits got what American Libs can only dream of - a complete ban on handguns including “compulsory buyback” aka, confiscation, like Dianne Feinstein wants - look at what has happened there:

WSJ via Weasel Zippers:

Americans are determined that massacres such as happened in Newtown, Conn., never happen again. But how? Many advocate more effective treatment of mentally-ill people or armed protection in so-called gun-free zones. Many others demand stricter control of firearms.

We aren’t alone in facing this problem. Great Britain and Australia, for example, suffered mass shootings in the 1980s and 1990s. Both countries had very stringent gun laws when they occurred. Nevertheless, both decided that even stricter control of guns was the answer. Their experiences can be instructive.

In 1987, Michael Ryan went on a shooting spree in his small town of Hungerford, England, killing 16 people (including his mother) and wounding another 14 before shooting himself. Since the public was unarmed—as were the police—Ryan wandered the streets for eight hours with two semiautomatic rifles and a handgun before anyone with a firearm was able to come to the rescue.

Nine years later, in March 1996, Thomas Hamilton, a man known to be mentally unstable, walked into a primary school in the Scottish town of Dunblane and shot 16 young children and their teacher. He wounded 10 other children and three other teachers before taking his own life.

After Hungerford, the British government banned semiautomatic rifles and brought shotguns—the last type of firearm that could be purchased with a simple show of fitness—under controls similar to those in place for pistols and rifles. Magazines were limited to two shells with a third in the chamber.

Dunblane had a more dramatic impact. Hamilton had a firearm certificate, although according to the rules he should not have been granted one. A media frenzy coupled with an emotional campaign by parents of Dunblane resulted in the Firearms Act of 1998, which instituted a nearly complete ban on handguns. Owners of pistols were required to turn them in. The penalty for illegal possession of a pistol is up to 10 years in prison.

The results have not been what proponents of the act wanted. Within a decade of the handgun ban and the confiscation of handguns from registered owners, crime with handguns had doubled according to British government crime reports. Gun crime, not a serious problem in the past, now is. Armed street gangs have some British police carrying guns for the first time. Moreover, another massacre occurred in June 2010. Derrick Bird, a taxi driver in Cumbria, shot his brother and a colleague then drove off through rural villages killing 12 people and injuring 11 more before killing himself.

Is it too much to ask of liberals that they put their thinking caps on? What part of “if guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns” do they not understand. And why?

Caution: Mad Donkey Thinking Caps in use

Oh well, at least Piers still has big friends in low places looking out for him.

Michael Moore in his thinking caps: What do you think the “DS” stands for? Hint: starts with “Dumb” ends with “hit”

Whatever

Meanwhile, people are also calling for a complete ban on “bath salts” as they’ve been deemed to be responsible for a recent spate of zombie like murders caused by chewing your friend’s face off.

Someday you may just wish you had More-Guns, Piers.

To borrow from Gerard at American Digest:

“Door. Ass. Bang!

[To quote the Bard: " Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once. "]”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Andrea Shea King: The Radio Patriot, and Harriet Ormsbee on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!