History, if it’s kind, will call this America’s “coming out” week. Should it choose to be unkind, it may say “coming apart.” Either way, we’re on vacation.
Before we left, we let another squirrel out of the Supreme Court’s cage to join the circus:
Gay Squirrel Alert! And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Then Big Guy en famiglia boarded Air Force Won and Too for a week long visit to deepest Africa.
Air kisses for the President of Senegal, just like at home
He left strict orders with Harry to make sure the kids get their homework done while he’s gone.
Yessir, Harry; legal by 2014. Got it.
So our undocumented voters can finally come out of the shadows while they’re voting twice or thrice.
So with everything in good hands at home, and because we don’t have enough problems right here to warrant all of Big Guy’s attention, he is off to Africa to solve all the troubles in the world. Because, as you may know, he has a gift.
Some consider it a gift.
He’s visiting all of the political hot spots in Africa: Egypt, Sudan, Somalia, the Ivory Coast, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Zimbabwe. No, wait – here’s are new updated itinerary: Senegal, South Africa and Tanzania.
Apparently we didn’t have enough money, thanks to the Sequester, to transport and properly arm our entourage for those dangerous locations. So we’re just going to have to settle for a little sightseeing in our armored vehicles with bullet proof glass. We began the trip at the “infamous embarkation point for those destined for lives in chains.”
In his first - and, many Africans say, long-overdue - extended tour of the continent, President Barack Obama will focus on political and economic issues, but is also paying homage to a painful chapter in American history.
On the first leg of his eight-day visit he is taking his family to the House of Slaves, a fort built in the late 18th century on Goree Island, off the coast of Senegal, as a transit point for the human traffic and now a museum.
Because symbolism is important.
I know this airbrushed black and white frock is symbolic, I’m just not sure of what.
To quote Victor Davis Hansen: “It’s bad to be seen as unethical and its bad to be seen as impotent butt it’s really bad to be seen as impotently incompetent.”
So, while Edward Snowden remains holed up in the transit zone at the Moscow airport, and Pooty taunts us, Big Guy released this hour’s squirrel to hunt for a nut.
OMG! GLOBAL WARMING! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
So - in order to avert your eyes from Russia and China’s humiliating behavior towards America, the NSA spy ring/citizen/reporter snooping program, the pending amnesty bill in the Senate, the travesty of the IRS harassment program and the distortion of Benghazigate – BHO once again took to the campaign trail to rail against global warming. The science is settled, you know.
Wow, not to pat myself on the back, butt did I not call this one? BHO referenced JFK’s bold plan to go to the moon by opening with a little story about the astronauts orbiting around the moon on Christmas Eve of 1968. Allusion of grandeur.
So in his much anticipated Georgetown read on “Climate Change” Barack Hussein Obama boldly went where no man has gone before; calling global warming deniers members of the Flat Earth Society and vowing to end global warming in his lifetime.
“President Obama is still parading his ignorance on climate science, linking bad weather to “global warming”, claiming a mythical 97% consensus, and implying that his executive actions can alter the globe’s temperature and lessen extreme weather events. The President has descended into the realm of medieval witchcraft by claiming he can combat global temperature rises and weather patterns through administrative action. Let the battle begin.” - Marc Morano Climate Depot
The 12 warmest years in recorded history have all come in the last 15 years. Last year, temperatures in some areas of the ocean reached record highs, and ice in the Arctic shrank to its smallest size on record -- faster than most models had predicted it would. These are facts.
Except for the fact that, um, they aren’t…facts, that is.
Farmers see crops wilted one year, washed away the next; and the higher food prices get passed on to you, the American consumer.
Because droughts and floods never happened before, in the entire history of agronomy; until global warming started, right after Algore invented the internet.
Further references of the non-occurrence of famine, floods and droughts may be found in the Great Book.
So the question is not whether we need to act. The overwhelming judgment of science -- of chemistry and physics [ed. two subjects Barry Hussein Obama was never taken] and millions of measurements -- has put all that to rest. Ninety-seven percent of scientists, including, by the way, some who originally disputed the data, have now put that to rest. [ed. see Mr. Morano’s comment, above] They've acknowledged the planet is warming and human activity is contributing to it. [ed. ditto]
Further excerpts of note:
I'm announcing a new national climate action plan, and I'm here to enlist your generation's help in keeping the United States of America a leader -- a global leader -- in the fight against climate change. [ed. the stu-dents would be better served to insist that he keep the USA a leader in freedom, liberty and industry.]
So today, for the sake of our children, and the health and safety of all Americans, I’m directing the Environmental Protection Agency to put an end to the limitless dumping of carbon pollution from our power plants, and complete new pollution standards for both new and existing power plants. [ed. - Audience applauses the announcement of their own demise.]
The fuel standards we set over the past few years mean that by the middle of the next decade, the cars and trucks we buy will go twice as far on a gallon of gas.
Barry Hussein Obama, having never taken a physics class in his life, remains unfettered by it’s laws (or ours) and therefore is free to think completely outside the box and come up with solutions nobody else has ever thought of. Shazam! Order his little people to set higher standards! If you set them, they will come. Why didn’t I think of that?
Anyway, I’m sure that if anyone can do it, it’s BHO: after all, he is the Lightbringer:
The good news is simple upgrades don’t just cut that pollution; they put people to work -- manufacturing and installing smarter lights and windows and sensors and appliances.
Ah! We’ve broken out the old “Broken Window” economic plan again! That always turns out well. Perhaps you remember our previous discussion of this phenomenon, where we evaluated it’s economic effect through the Firesign Theatre’s “Shoes for Industry” parable:
Here’s the concept: the only way to improve the economy in George Leroy Tirebiter’s surreal post-war world is to remove your shoes and turn them in to the government. In turn, this creates jobs for people to make new shoes to replace the shoes you’ve patriotically turned in. Sort of like daylight savings time – another government invention. Firesign Theatre is so underrated.
“But we can do even better than that. So today, I’m setting a new goal: Your federal government will consume 20 percent of its electricity from renewable sources within the next seven years. We are going to set that goal.”
Goals are important.
Big White Renewable electricity sources
“We’ll also encourage private capital to get off the sidelines and get into these energy-saving investments.”
I don’t see how that will be a problem; what right thinking company would turn down the opportunity to make energy-saving investments funded by taxpayers?
Let the record reflect that BHO’s 50 minute, historic speech on “Climate Change” included 61 self-references - 44 “I”s and 17 “my”s. What less would you expect from the Oracle of Smart?
"Cold hearted orb that rules the night, removes the colours from our sight. Red is grey, and yellow, white, but we decide which is right, and which is an illusion.”
Maria Cristina González Noguera, who goes by MC for short, was announced as the new communications director for the East Wing on Monday, with her official title including the acknowledgement as a special assistant to the President as well.
MC’s going to have some big shoes to fill - Kristina Schake’s. Kristina, our current “communications director” is the creative force behind Lady M’s image. She practically made us who we are today. For example, “Let’s Move!” – that was all Kristina’s idea!
You might say it was her idea to put the “moovement” into “Let’s Move!”
Wow! Who would want to compete with that?
Now, I need to point out that just because MC comes to us from the House of Estee Lauder, she will not be our new makeup artist. That job is already being handled by a staff of 12, headed up by official Makeup Artist to the FLOTUS #3, Carl Raywho succeeded makeup artist #2, Derrick Rutledge, the makeup artist to the stars who took over from makeup artist #1, Ingrid Grimes-Myles, when it became clear that we had outgrown her talents.
So while we will be happy to accept MC’s advice on Lady M’s odors fragrances:
Pleasures, Youth Dew and Beautiful: perfect!
As well as any free samples she can supply us with:
We won’t be needing any of their Cyber Eyes, although I understand the NSA and the IRS have ordered 600,000 cases for various operations.
Anyway, MC’s resume is nearly as impressive as Lady M’s:
"Maria Cristina González Noguera is an experienced communications executive currently serving as the Global Vice President, Corporate Communications, for the Estée Lauder Companies Inc. (ELC). Ms. González Noguera advises the Company’s leadership team on strategic communications matters including government affairs, media relations, issues management, and employee engagement. During her tenure at ELC she has played a significant role in leading and integrating the Company’s extensive corporate responsibility initiatives. Prior to joining ELC, Ms. González Noguera was a Managing Director for the Washington, D.C., strategic communications firm Chlopak, Leonard, Schechter & Associates (CLS). A native of San Juan, Puerto Rico, Ms. González Noguera is a graduate of Tufts University. She is married and has a one-year-old son."
Except that she doesn’t have a law degree from Harvard that she voluntarily surrendered.
Although we’re thrilled to welcome MC onboard, Lady M personally expressed her regrets over Kristina’s departure:
In a statement, Michelle Obama says, “Kristina has been an essential and valued advisor to me over the past two and a half years. Her expertise in strategic planning and her creativity have been invaluable not just to me but to the entire Administration and I am truly grateful for her leadership and counsel. While she will be greatly missed at the White House, the impact of her work will be lasting.”
Translation: don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.
Butt for the record, here are a few of the creative, strategic initiatives that Kristina is responsible for and we will all remember long after Kristina moves on to a more highly compensated job on K Street in the private sector, due to her invaluable electronic Rolodex:
Our Military Families campaign:
Watch out! Incoming!!
Our multiple TV gigs, from Potato Sack racing with Jimmy Fallon in the East Room
to the “Evolution of Mom Dancing.”
And who can ever forget Kristina’s major contribution to creating Lady M’s fashionista image by landing her a gig at last year’s Nickelodeon Award Show!
Now that’s a lot of creative strategizing, right there. I sure hope MC’s able to fill her shoes.
All I can say is “good luck, Maria Cristina.”
So, to recap: MC is NOT here as Lady M’s makeup artist, that would be Carl.
MC is actually a PR person specializing in communications and fragrances and she’s here to help us with strategic planning and creativity. I get the help with smells, butt I’ve no idea why Lady M would need a strategist, unless she’s planning to run for president in 2016.
And if that’s the case, she’ll need a new makeup artist.
BO’s not really a high wire artist, although he does play one on television regularly. Take, for example, gay marriage where he “straddled the fence” so-to-speak right up until the moment in the campaign where he discovered he was for it after having been against it.
Or Syria, where it looked like the bright red line would give us plenty of turf to walk lightly while waiting for reinforcements.
Unfortunately the reinforcements came from Russia and Iran, rendering our red wire a little less stable than we normally like.
And of course there are all of those Campaign promises that we need to constantly tread ever so carefully (in alphabetical order): the debt, economy, education, energy, entitlements, gay rights, global warning, gun control, health care, immigration, Iran, and taxes.
They’re all child’s play though, compared to the current high wire issue of national security that Big Guy addressed last month during his counter terrorism speech:
“Meanwhile, we strengthened our defenses — hardening targets, tightening transportation security, and giving law enforcement new tools to prevent terror. Most of these changes were sound. Some caused inconvenience. But some, like expanded surveillance, raised difficult questions about the balance we strike between our interests in security and our values of privacy. And in some cases, I believe we compromised our basic values - by using torture to interrogate our enemies, and detaining individuals in a way that ran counter to the rule of law.”
You’ve got to admit, Big Guy walked that one like a pro. In a speech designed to define his legacy as well as announce the end to the war on terror, he once again demonstrated his balancing skills by campaigning against his own positions while simultaneously ensuring their continuity:
To put it crassly, the president sought to rebuke his own administration for taking the positions it has—but also to make sure that it could continue to do so.
and:
There are a number of areas in the president’s speech yesterday in which Obama publicly aligns himself with critics of his administration, while promising in hard terms very little.(snip) He criticized Guantanamo and indefinite detention, without promising to release detainees who pose a serious threat yet cannot face trial.
He followed this up by walking the tightwire regarding his position on the use of drones:
“Going forward, I have asked my Administration to review proposals to extend oversight of lethal actions outside of warzones that go beyond our reporting to Congress. Each option has virtues in theory, but poses difficulties in practice.”
Translation: we’re going to continue the Tuesday afternoon kill list meetings; butt don’t worry, we won’t be drone-killing any of our enemies in the United States (for now).
I like to call this his “Grand Canyon” performance:
“Nailed it!”
Big Guy’s high wire expertise should surprise no one who’s been following his career. Way back when he was just a junior Senator from Illinois running for his first historic presidency he told reporters who were interested that his favorite TV show was The Wire.
In case you don’t remember it, The Wire was a crime show set in the mean streets of Baltimore. It was a cynical show focused on the intercession of crime and politics, which is just about anywhere you look: the world of drugs, the longshoremen on the docks, the police department, the city government, the school system, and the news media.
Whether one is a cop, a longshoreman, a drug dealer, a politician, a judge or a lawyer, all are ultimately compromised and must contend with whatever institution they are committed to.
Central to the structure and plot of the show is the use of electronic surveillance and wiretap technologies by the police—hence the title The Wire.(snip) Simon has discussed the use of camera shots of surveillance equipment, or shots that appear to be taken from the equipment itself, to emphasize the volume of surveillance in modern life and the characters' need to sift through this information.
Oh, and for the record: Big Guy’s favorite character is Omar, a gay thief who lives by a strict moral code of his own making that few in the world of law enforcement would recognize or acknowledge.
And at Number 129, up 9 steps from #138 in February is (Drum Roll Please)...
!!!!MOTUS!!!!
Big Hugs and Thanks to all My MOLs, MODs, MYLs, MYDs, FOMs and all the wonderful people who link to my little blog on their websites and in comments around the intertubes!!!
Special thanks to Doug Ross who tirelessly compiles the rankings and Linx to me regularly!!!
What about the IRS scandal? The State Department lies and misdirects on Benghazi? The NSA spying on everyone? Common sense “Comprehensive Immigration Reform”? The War of Terror? Please people, you’re going to have to try a little harder to keep up.
“Hide under here for awhile. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn to come out.”
Comparing “global warming” to World War II, former Vice President Al Gore said America should “mobilize” to combat climate change and put a “price on carbon pollution.
The biggest news out of Algore’s pronouncement of the war to end global warming/cooling/change was his acknowledgement that FDR’s New Deal did not end the Great Depression (!):
“Even though we give FDR and the New Deal the credit for ending the Great Depression, what really ended it was World War II when we mobilized for a great national effort in which the survival of our country and our values was deemed to be at stake and when we decided to act, then we put people to work and the economy started booming like never before,”
I wonder if he knows that conservatives have been making that same argument against Keynesian government spending for decades?
Sorry Nancy P, it looks like unemployment isn’t the best way to put America back to work after all.I know – this seems counterintuitive in the world of progressive ideas and concepts, butt apparently it’s the way things work in the real world. Apparently from time to time it’s still beneficial to think INSIDE the box.
Butt I digress; back to Algore:
It is well past time that we put a price on carbon pollution and not just accept the price that it extracts from us,” Gore said.
And Big Guy agrees! He wants to put a confiscatory tax higher price on carbon too.
"This Tuesday, I’ll lay out my vision for where I believe we need to go – a national plan to reduce carbon pollution, prepare our country for the impacts of climate change, and lead global efforts to fight it."
While they agree that we need to launch a carbon war on America, they disagree on how to go about extracting the price of it from you. Algore wants to implement common sense programs that - for a reasonable cost, supplemented by government provided green energy subsidies - will reduce your carbon footprint:
The former Tennessee senator said retrofitting U.S. buildings and infrastructure would create more jobs and lower “global warming pollution.”
“It’s a huge fork in the road, huge choice that we have to make and if we mobilize the way we should, if we put a price on carbon and get the signals correct in the economy, then we’re going to put many millions of people to work installing the solar, installing the wind, reconfiguring buildings with more insulation,” Gore said.
[Let the record reflect that Algore Enterprises is now heavily invested in companies created to provide buildings with about-to-be-government-mandated “retrofitting” services.]
Big Guy on the other hand, wants to save the planet through confiscatory taxes common sense measures and innovating physics. No, you read that right; not innovative physics, innovating physics. You know, some of that out of the box thinking that has already brought us new fuel sources:tobacco, algae and corn.
“We’ll need scientists to design new fuels, and farmers to grow them.”
“We’ll need engineers to devise new sources of energy, and businesses to make and sell them.”
So let it be written; so let it be done.
See it’s just a matter of science and physics, like JFK announcing we were going to the moon. Except that physics supported that idea. Unfortunately it looks like the laws of thermodynamics in specific and the laws of physics in general don’t support our new War on American prosperity. Unlike community organizers and political opportunists, physicists have actually studied the scientific basis of climate phenomena – even after Algore determined it to be settled - and find the conclusion of the global alarmists to be hokum:
“At the end of the presentation, Salby implies, quoting Richard Feynman, that CO2 science today can be described as ‘Cult Science’.”
“In significant part, however, CO2 is controlled by Global Temperature, as it is in the Proxy Record.”
Boy! I didn’t see that coming. Did you?
If anyone pays attention to these rogue physicists it sure would queer a lot of Algore’s climate change deal$. Don’t worry though, in the age of Hope and Change facts don’t matter nearly as much as who’s in charge of the Treasury. And that, my friends, is why Big Guy will proudly announce the launch of his War of American Prosperity this coming Tuesday. Because the do-nothing Congress that you all elected won’t pass any of our common sense measures to set the earth’s temperature at a comfortable 72 degrees F in perpetuity, Big Guy is going to have his Executive Order pen do it for them.
Photographers get a close up of the Executive Order Pen that will save the world.
Make no mistake, we WILL control your carbon emissions whether you want us to or not. Because we want to. And because we know what’s good for you whether you do or not. And because we can.
“President Obama will announce Tuesday in a speech at Georgetown University that he plans to regulate greenhouse-gas emissions from existing power plants, according to individuals who have been briefed on the plan but asked not to be identified.”
And then, right after the big announcement, Big Guy, Lady M, the Wee Wons, a dozen miscellaneous friends and relatives and will board Air Force Won along with several military transports loaded with 56 support vehicles, including 14 limousines, and three trucks to carry bulletproof glass panels for a weeklong visit to Africa. Several hundred Secret Service personnel are already on the ground, securing the perimeters of the royal first family’s trip.
And remember people, only you can stop “common sense” Hope and Change.
I know this airbrushed black and white frock is symbolic, I’m just not sure of what.
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