Monitoring Two Dangerous Squirrels, One For Possible Ebola Virus

It’s a good thing we had the non-amnesty announcement this week to keep us Occupied.

BO, jogging back to the WH on his way to his Vegas Victory Lap, supposedly for his Black Berry; actually to get his smokes.

From The Grapevine:

After boarding Marine One, the president suddenly hopped back off-- and headed back inside the White House. He eventually emerged and asked reporters--"Do you guys ever forget something?"

And said-- he forgot his BlackBerry.

But-- eagle-eyed journalists noticed-- he was actually wearing a BlackBerry in a holster—when he got off the helicopter.

Whether the president actually carries two BlackBerries-- or if he went back to the residence for another reason-- remains unclear tonight.

If not for BO’s non-amnesty slap-down, somebody at one of the MSM Alphabets might have actually picked up on the “Jonathan Gruber just called you dumb” meme that’s now irresponsibly running around the Innertubz. And while our non-amnesty for illegals story was supposed our decoy this week, somehow a couple more rabid squirrels snuck out while we were celebrating.

First rabid squirrel to escape our quarantine: the “DOJ and White House Emails Target Reporter Sharyl Atkisson” – I tell you, something simply must be done about that so-called “Judicial Watch.” Expect IRS investigation in 3,2,1….

And as if that weren’t bad enough, this squirrel – which may actually be carrying the Ebola virus – got out yesterday: “30,000 Missing Emails from IRS’ Lerner Recovered.”

Who knew you could even DO that!?

So I guess we won’t be talking about Jonathan, again, on the Sunday shows this week.

I’ve got to run now – as you know I’ve got a concert to produce tonight:

****SPECIAL NOTICE****

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO’VE ENJOYED GERARD’S ENDLESS STREAM OF POETRY, INFORMATION, FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT ON AMERICAN DIGEST OVER THE YEARS; FINALLY, A CHANCE TO GIVE BACK.

MOTUS IS HOLDING A SPECIAL BENEFIT CONCERT TO HELP RE-PAPER HIS NEST AFTER BEING THROWN OUT OF HIS SEATTLE HOME BECAUSE HIS SELFISH LANDLORD (BILL GATES?) DECIDED TO SELL IT OUT FROM UNDER HIM AND PAY CAPITAL GAINS TAXES.

HE COULD USE A HAND AS HE’S RELOCATED TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA (I KNOW! BUTT THAT’S WHERE MOM IS AND SHE’S GETTING UP IN YEARS - IF YOU CONSIDER 99 “UP IN YEARS”).

ANYWAY, DON’T MISS TONIGHT’S VERY SPECIAL VERSION OF THE MOTUS TWILIGHT NOCTURNE LOUNGE AND BENEFIT CONCERT FOR YOUR CHANCE TO THANK GERARD FOR OVER A DECADE OF EXTRAORDINARILY FINE MATERIAL AND ENTERTAINMENT.

GATES OPEN AT 5:00 PM EDT AND THE EVENT IS “OPEN SEATING” SO NO CROWDING OR PUSHING, ALL SEATS ARE GOOD AND THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR EVERYBODY. EARLY ADMISION FOR VIP DONORS BEGINS AT 3:00 PM EST SO DONATE EARLY!

LITTLE MO WILL BE MANNING THE SOUNDBOARD AS WELL AS BOTH BEER & SNACK TENTS AND THE LOUNGE WILL REMAIN OPEN ALL NIGHT LONG, SO PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Don’t forget to stop in, and drop a little something in the hat if you can.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

A Nothing Burger: No Meat, Lots of Gravy

I’m still not sure what, in possibly the most over-hyped speech of the century, El Presidente promised. He told illegals they can come forward, get fingerprinted, “get right with the law” and stay here “temporarily.” I didn’t hear him say exactly how that’s going to work; I didn’t hear him say he was giving illegal immigrants social security numbers, photo IDs and work permits – as was repeatedly leaked out before the speech.

In fact, this is really all he actually said about illegal aliens:

So we’re going to offer the following deal: If you’ve been in America for more than five years; if you have children who are American citizens or legal residents; if you register, pass a criminal background check, and you’re willing to pay your fair share of taxes – you’ll be able to apply to stay in this country temporarily, without fear of deportation. You can come out of the shadows and get right with the law.

Although he called Latinos “fruit pickers” and “maids” -

Are we a nation that tolerates the hypocrisy of a system where workers who pick our fruit and make our beds never have a chance to get right with the law?

Good thing he didn’t call them cotton pickers

- he did say they can step forward and start paying taxes, if they choose. And who wouldn’t choose to pay their fair share?  I don’t know how they are going to do that without a Social Security number however. And, as I said, I didn’t hear Big Guy say they could get one. Probably because he knows he can’t issue SS#’s to illegal aliens without super-Constitutional powers. So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this works. Also, I didn’t hear Big Guy explain how his position “evolved” from believing he was not allowed to act unconstitutionally to believing that he could; so possibly that one is still circulating around Justice for a plausible explanation. Instead, I heard him invoke scripture and the ghosts of previous Presidential Executive Orders to justify his new belief in doing the job that Congress refuses to do.

We may have to wait on a final clarifying position from Justice on that evolution as well.

Butt lets be clear; last night’s speech was pretty much a nothing burger served up with lots of soothing gravy from the amnesty standpoint. Big Guy didn’t really do anything he hasn’t already done. A de facto non-deportation policy already exists; so he expanded it “officially” to include more people - which he was going to do anyway. No, my friends, the real point of his speech was to make sure everyone, especially the Republicans, knows that he, el Presidente, is still relevant.

He put the loyal opposition on notice that he’s still in charge, and not to mess with him. Some might even call it taunting:

“You want to oppose my agenda? Go out there and win an election!”

“You don’t like what I’ve done?”

“I have one answer: Pass a bill. I want to work with both parties to pass a more permanent legislative solution.”

And here’s the money quote from last night:

Meanwhile, don’t let a disagreement over a single issue be a deal breaker on every issue. That’s not how our democracy works, and Congress certainly shouldn’t shut down our government again just because we disagree on this.

Because, you see, this really wasn’t about immigration; even if Big Guy doesn’t know his legal limitations, his teleprompter does. He stretched his presidential powers as far as he could without breaking them. He’ll only do that when he’s convinced the do-nothing Congress won’t do things his way. To that end, last night’s address was intended as a threat; he was blackmailing - or in BO’s case, half-blackmailing® - the new Congress:

Last night’s real message? More like this:

“Don’t mess with me. Don’t mess with Obamacare. ‘Cuz  if you do, no matter what you try to defund with your stupid budget bills, I’ll veto it and make sure the American people blame it on you (with the full faith and credit of the MSM behind me). Got it? Nothing is changing around here. I’m still in charge. Just because 2/3 of the country stayed home and didn’t vote doesn’t mean you won. My policies are still in place and my authority has been validated. 

In charge of everything, responsible for nothing.

So let’s all take a breath and wait to see how this plays out. Is it now legal for employers to hire illegal aliens because they’ve been temporarily removed from the deportation lists? Can they continue to use stolen SS#’s? Has BHO decided not to prosecute illegal aliens currently working with stolen ID’s? Is he going to issue new Social Security numbers to illegal aliens who’ve been removed from the deportation list “temporarily”? Inquiring minds want to know. Are we going full amnesty, or stickin’ with the nuthin’ burger until the do-nothing Congress either does things Barry’s way or forces him to go full court anti-Constitution?

As el Presidente himself said last night:

“Now here’s the thing: we expect people who live in this country to play by the rules.”

It still remains to be seen if that expectation applies to Barry.

Which Barry will show up? Place your bets at window 6.

****SPECIAL NOTICE****

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO’VE ENJOYED GERARD’S ENDLESS STREAM OF POETRY, INFORMATION, FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT ON AMERICAN DIGEST OVER THE YEARS; FINALLY, A CHANCE TO GIVE BACK.

MOTUS IS HOLDING A SPECIAL BENEFIT CONCERT TO HELP REPAPER HIS NEST AFTER BEING THROWN OUT OF HIS SEATTLE HOME BECAUSE HIS SELFISH LANDLORD (BILL GATES?) DECIDED TO SELL IT OUT FROM UNDER HIM AND PAY CAPITAL GAINS TAXES.

HE COULD USE A HAND AS HE’S RELOCATED TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA (I KNOW! BUTT THAT’S WHERE MOM IS AND SHE’S GETTING UP IN YEARS - IF YOU CONSIDER 99 “UP IN YEARS”).

ANYWAY, DON’T MISS TOMORROW’S VERY SPECIAL VERSION OF THE MOTUS TWILIGHT NOCTURNE LOUNGE AND BENEFIT CONCERT FOR YOUR CHANCE TO THANK GERARD FOR OVER A DECADE OF EXTRAORDINARILY FINE MATERIAL AND ENTERTAINMENT.

GATES OPEN AT 5:00 PM EDT AND THE EVENT IS “OPEN SEATING” SO NO CROWDING OR PUSHING, ALL SEATS ARE GOOD AND THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR EVERYBODY. EARLY ADMISION FOR VIP DONORS BEGINS AT 3:00 PM EST SO DONATE EARLY!

LITTLE MO WILL BE MANNING THE SOUNDBOARD AS WELL AS THE BAR AND THE LOUNGE WILL REMAIN OPEN ALL NIGHT LONG, SO PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

At the Intersection of Democracy and Tyranny

On this day in history in 1923, U.S. Patent Office granted Patent No. 1,475,074 to Garrett Morgan for the 3-way traffic light.

 

While traffic lights were in use before Morgan’s invention his was the first to include the cautionary yellow light, signaling drivers to slow down and stop.

This innovation has prevented countless accidents since its inception. However, there will always be a handful of people who think the yellow light means that everybody else should slow down so they can speed up and sail through the intersection unassailed from either direction. Barry Soetoro has always been one of those people.

Which is why the former professor of Constitutional Law will take to the air tonight. First, he will declare that until now he was blinded by the law butt that now he is a prophet to whom the real, true meaning of all laws previously passed by the duly designated legislative branch of the United States Congress has been revealed. Second, based on these divine revelations, he will reinterpret existing legislation to proclaim those once deemed “illegal” shall now be “legal” in the eye of the law.

So while most think the alarming number of illegals currently occupying the country at a minimum warrants judicious “caution,” the Prophet sees them and thinks “full speed ahead – nobody can stop me now.”

Green-lighting the way to amnesty.

So tonight, BHO will be speeding through the intersection at the corner of Legal and Illegal on his way to De Facto Amnesty Avenue without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror at the do-nothing Congress. This, despite the multiple occasions on which he himself - before The Revelation - stated that it would be patently illegal for him to take such action.

(If you missed this, please watch all 8 minutes of The Kelly File segment; required homework)

So while the majority of the population look at the onslaught of illegals – and see the light in the intersection  turned red:

 

BHO looks at the same signal and sees yellow: pedal to the medal time; his chance to once and for all transform America. His Revelation has clarified his role in history: it is the second coming. Of King George III.

Following this evening’s edict, The Prophet will fly to Las Vegas to take his victory lap hold services for his acolytes.

Cautionary note for illegals currently anticipating King George’s executive order: remember the next American King might be a conservative and will have his own pen and phone. So don’t put your roots down too deeply, in case he decides he likes the old law better and uses his pen to rescind this edit. There are still many people back in your homelands legally waiting in line to immigrate.

**Here’s an interesting footnote to today’s history fact: the inventor Garrett Morgan, successful businessman and newspaper owner before patenting the ubiquitous stoplight, was the child of two former slaves:

America: holding the black man down since 1865

When he was just 14 years old, he moved north to Ohio to look for a job. First he worked as a handyman in Cincinnati; next he moved to Cleveland, where he worked as a sewing-machine repairman. In 1907, he opened his own repair shop, and in 1909 he added a garment shop to his operation. The business was an enormous success, and by 1920 Morgan had made enough money to start a newspaper, the Cleveland Call, which became one of the most important black newspapers in the nation.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Try it; You’ll Like It! Trust Me.

“Researchers are finding that Washington bureaucrats can get children to ‘choose’ healthy foods, but getting students to eat them is another task altogether.”

“We have been thinking that if young children choose healthy food, they will eat it,” Susan M. Gross, PhD, MPH, a research associate in the Department of Population, Family and Reproductive Health at the Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg of Public Health

“But our research shows that is not necessarily so.” – eagnews

There’s a message in there somewhere. Something like “you can lead a horse to water… butt if you fill the trough with vinegar instead of fresh spring water they won’t drink it.” 

Put another way, you can guilt an awful lot of people into making the “correct” choice…

You didn’t earn that on your own. Somebody else did that for you:

…butt once they discover what it tastes like, they may still refuse to swallow it.

So let me make this perfectly clear: we’ve shown you the correct choices so we are relying on you to choose the correct response. Specifically, appropriate restraint and acceptance as the organized Ferguson riots commence, the amnesty by pen order goes down, and moral equivalency is declared between Hamas and the Jewish state. Since you know the correct response, just shut up and eat your peas.

Additionally, will you just stop bugging Barry about Jon Gruber and the Great American Swindle? He just wants to eat his waffle.

So if you have any further complaints about the peas or the pea eating monster,

please take it up with somebody who gives a damn:

H/T to one of MOTUS’ own Teahadists – ykwya!

And one last thought from our favorite philosopher:

Moral: refuse to eat anything if you have to taste it to find out what’s in it.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Occupy Ferguson: Like the People of OWS and Walmart only more racist.

Have you ever wondered what happened to all the POWIES, the People of Occupy Wall Street? You know, all those pathetically sad people who signed on to the Progs’ last populist class warfare movement?

It was the story of the year in 2011, and you may recall it was also the story that gave MOTUS her international creds. My post, The People of OWS: like the people of Wal-Mart, only not as smart, was Instalanched and picked up by the Daily Mail Online and read ‘round the world: I’ve been kind of a big deal on the Internet ever since.

A political science degree? Isn’t that special! And you can’t figure out why you can’t find a job? Try offering more skills and making fewer demands. You’re welcome.

Here’s a quick recap to bring you up to date: the fall of 2011 saw the U.S.’s first country-wide ginned up class envy protest. It was the launch of the Left’s 2012 presidential campaign which it correctly predicted would be waged against a rich white guy. The Occupy Crowd started holding sleep overs around New York’s Zuccotti Park in September:

which continued ‘till it got really cold, at which time they moved to the West Coast where the climes were more temperate:

And more bilingual

If you’ve erased the POWIES from your memory bank entirely, here’s a quick refresh: the POWIES represented the 99 percenters (get it? everyone except the 1 percenters?) who spent weeks in front of cameras on the internet feeling guilty for everything from being alive:

To wondering if it was even worth being alive:

They complained of being forced to take on even more debt:

Let me guess: BA in Political Science? Psychology? Maybe you should start over in the category “degrees that start with the letter ‘A’”  – like Arithmetic or Accounting.

And whining about the cost of college degrees that are worthless in the real world:

See how useful a degree in arithmetic or accounting could be?

Also they hung out protesting the banks who forced them to borrow all that money, Wall Street for creating the money and the 1 percenters for enjoying it:

Stay tuned, Revolution to continue around noon-ish

All while organizing themselves into different units, some responsible for food (mostly from nearby capitalist pig pizzerias, as their boxes were 100% recyclable):

New way to sleep in cardboard boxes

Some were responsible for entertainment, be it drum circles or simply inventing a new method of crowd-sourcing known as hand singles:

“Up-twinkles” that!

All while accidentally recreating the irony that supposedly “died” on 9/11:

Wake up babe! Time to put that hammer and sickle to work!

Butt when all  else failed to produce the desired result – free stuff – rioting and looting became the most efficacious way to occupy the country:

Okay - we get it, you’re upset:

And since class warfare didn’t really catch on as well as you’d HOPEd, it was time to bring in the big guns, so to speak:

Birds of a feather Jesse, Maxi, and Mikey

Time to move on from class warfare (temporarily) to race warfare; ala Trayvon, only better organized this time:

So the call was put out for all former occupiers, especially occupiers of color, to show up this week in Ferguson, Missouri. They’re hoping for an adequate show of outrage from anarchists united (there’s that irony thing again!), POWIES and just pissed off peoples of color (POPOC). They probably could have drawn a much larger mob if they could have arranged for the protest to somehow take place in either a more fun location or at least a warmer clime.

Because as you may recall, with all this global warming, it’s getting harder and harder to get the anti-carbon occupiers to show up, due in part to, uh, the weather. They are apparently fair weather friends.

The Al Gore climate change carbon control contingency held a sparsely attended Occupy Sit-in. Zelda (top right) brought her “free” Obamacare birth control device. Just in case she get’s lucky.

So attention all former POWIES:  your participation is desperately needed at the Occupy Ferguson Camp sometime this week. Previous experience with Molotov cocktails and tear gas desirable, butt not mandatory. And don’t worry: they’re planning to keep the protest “peaceful” – or something.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted and Featured on Patriot Action Network

The True Story of How Muhammad Discovered America

actual photo h/t Blazing Cat Fur

In eleven hundred and seventy eight
Muhammad sailed through the Hormuz strait.

He had three ships that left from Persia;
Heading out and sailing further
Than anyone had sailed before
To land upon America’s shore.

 MOTUS, 2014

And that, my friends, is the legend of how Muslims discovered America, 300 years before Columbus. And that’s great news, just in time for Thanksgiving! It means Western Imperialism is off the hook for stealing and raping the Indians’ land, brutally killing Native Americans with long guns and small pox and introducing everything from racism, sexism, anti-gay bigotry, and the class system to the Americas; by all rights that credit rightfully belongs to the Muslims now.

And since they have not been given any credit for it, can you blame them for wanting to kill all of us?

Oh sure, Big Guy tried to give them credit belatedly on Eid al-Fitr last August, saying:

“Eid also reminds us of the many achievements and contributions of Muslim Americans to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”

Since most people couldn’t even think of one, let alone “many” achievements, without resorting to – as  Father Sarducci might say “two of them  being-a card tricks.”

h/t Father Sarducci

So Robert Spencer (director of Jihad Watch) was good enough to list five for us. Here they are in chronological order:

1. Getting us here in the first place: No, not “discovering” America, butt by blocking the eastern route to Asia. “Because the fall of Constantinople to the Muslims in 1453 closed the trade routes to the East.” Thus forcing Christopher Columbus to set off to find a western route.

2. Slavery: Oh yes; Muslims didn’t invent slavery butt they certainly did capitalize on it: “Arguably, then, if it weren’t for the Islamic slave industry on the African continent, there would have been no slavery in the New World, and none of the attendant national traumas that reverberate down to this day.”

3. The Marines: “From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli…” The Marines became a permanent fixture of our fighting forces during the first war the U.S. fought against Islamic jihadists  on the Barbary Coast in 1801-05.

4. A drastically weakened economy: 9-11: ‘nuf said, I think. “We experience the effects of this every day in a thousand ways, large and small – in an America that is poorer, uglier, meaner, more dangerous, less productive and less efficient than it was on September 10, 2001.”

5. The TSA: “the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security are two new bloated and ever-growing bureaucracies, further draining the already depleted American taxpayer.”

Perhaps this up-till-now oversight of Muslims’ proper place in history explains why they have been at war with us for the past 500 years. I don’t really know how to explain the first 900 years however – at least not in any politically correct manner.

So in an attempt to make amends for this slighting of Muslim accomplishments in world history I’m launching a new feature I’m calling:

Here are a few of my favorite entries:

1. Muslim engineer accidentally invents the wheel, still working on the concept: (h/t DeweyFromDetroit)

2.Muslim scientist in weapons lab, praying to discover cold fusion:

3. Muslims in space:

Next I suppose we’re going to be hearing from the Chinese, claiming that they discovered America. I guess that’s plausible; how else do you explain all those Chinese restaurants?

That’s fine by me too; there’s certainly enough guilt to spread around.

Sum-dim all right

Why should the white man get all of it?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Post-Obamacare Syndrome Gruber Therapy®

The list of people who have been “Grubered” is growing by the hour.

The Wise Cockatoo, with his little peacock.

The list - which started with the stupid American people – soon included stupid journalists who were mis-misinformed about the math, and then stupid politicians like Max Baucus, Harry Reid and  Nancy Pelosi. And then yesterday Big Guy himself added his name to the list of the “grubered” when he said he was shocked about the controversy involving “some advisor, not even on staff” and claimed again that ObamaCare was 110% transparent.

Alas, as Clarice points out, Jonny was not as insignificant as many would have him:

But you cannot pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars, cite him in your speeches and on your websites and in your briefs as an authority and then credibly pretend you don't know him.(READ THE REST!) 

And apparently we haven’t even heard the worst of it yet according to Rich Weinstein, private citizen and investigative cub reporter at large.

So it strikes me that there may be many of you out there who in the coming days will find yourselves wishing you had a way to wipe that smug, condescending smirk off the elitist face of “ Mr. Mandate” Gruber. Well, now you can, with my patented Post-Obamacare Syndrome (POS) Gruber Therapy®!

If you’ve already taken advantage of my free POS Barry Therapy®,  no further instructions are required. If you’re new to my clinic, the therapy sessions are easy and free (unlike ObamaCare!). It requires no previous experience, very little knowledge, has no rules and the objective is unclear – just like our foreign policy.

For relief at any time, here’s all you have to do:

• Navigate to my permanent Barry Therapy Clinic (it's over there -–> in my sidebar) and select the “Gruber” session
• Watch Gruber free fall, banging into and bouncing off the ObamaCare bumpers to your hearts’ content
• When Jonny lands in a crevasse and stops falling, just grab him by the head, butt or feet with your mouse and push, pull or squeeze him over, under or through the bumpers. He’ll even fit through invisible cracks – just like a rodent!
• If at any time you feel the need to increase the intensity of the session, just grab Gruber with your mouse and fling him wherever you want! He’ll just keep falling.

No prescription is required and treatment will be available whenever you need it. So go ahead, give both levels of my customized POS Gruber Therapy® a go (Level I,  with bumpers and Level II, with exposed hypodermic needles). I’m certain you’ll feel  better instantly.

Remember: you can’t fix smug, butt you can fling it around

Level I:

Level II

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and American Digest, and iOwnTheWorldReport, and Moonbattery, and Adrienne’s Corner, and The Feral Irishman, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network