The Red Tide Has Passed: We’re Back In The Months With An “R” in Them.

Oh no! Big Guy has been brought down by a case of the dreaded Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). I can hear the late night jokes writing themselves. “Now Obama is even giving himself heartburn.”

It’s no surprise of course, the way people have been letting him down left and right. Mary Landrieu is just the latest Prog Obamacare Cheerleader to be swept out to sea by the red tide.

In her concession speech, Landrieu touted her own "record of courage, honesty and integrity and delivering for the state when it mattered the most."

Unfortunately, the citizens of Louisiana thought she delivered the state to Obama when it mattered most: Obamacare.

The senator also said she didn't regret her vote for Obamacare.

Unfortunately, her constituents did.

Mary, like most of her Senate cohorts, came to Washington to do good. And, as the saying goes, she did very well indeed: assuming you measure “good” by the amount of pork you accumulate.

Time-elapse photo series over Mary’s tenure demonstrating how well she’s done

Anyway, getting back to Big Guy: he thought he had a sore throat, butt it turned out what he actually had was a sour stomach: welcome to our world Big Guy! So the docs will be prescribing the usual fixes: lifestyle and dietary modifications (less smoking, drinking and eating rich foods) along with medications to treat acid reflux, such as H2 blockers or proton pump inhibitors. While highly effective, unfortunately, with Obamacare, those H2 blockers and proton pump inhibitors are not covered by your Obamacare Market Place plan:

“maximum out-of-pocket cost limit for any individual Marketplace plan for 2015 can be no more than $6,600 for an individual plan and $13,200 for a family plan.”

So, Mary, if you’re listening, that’s one of the reasons your constituents threw you out of office. Not, as you told Chuck Todd, because Louisiana is full of racists and sexists.

“And, number two, to be very, very honest with you the South is not always the friendliest place for African Americans. It’s been a difficult time for the president to present himself in a very positive light as a leader. It’s not always been a good place for women to be able to present ourselves.”

I think you’ve had a fair chance to present yourself. The people just don’t like what they’ve been presented. So here’s a little unsolicited advice: to prevent future cases of gastroesophageal reflux disease -

You might want to change your diet: maybe a little less pork?

Maybe a little more locally sourced protein like crawfish would be better now that the red tide has passed and we’re back into the months with an “R” in them. So go home and suck some crawfish heads – Now deemed 100% sexist, racist, and heartburn free.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

I’m too sexy for my thumbs; too sexy for my gum, too sexy for my bum…

Well this should be fun! Let’s have a “who’s too sexiest” contest. That’s “sexiest” not “sexist” – big difference; one is, like, sexy and the other is like, well, “War On Women.”

So first up, the original too sexiest guy: I’m Too Sexy – by one-hit-wonder, Right Said Fred.

Next, the 2014 fan fiction remake of I’m Too Sexy – by two-bit-Wonder, Barack Hussein Obama. (h/t Abenaki and Weasel Zippers)

Stupid, yet oddly addictive…the “I’m So Sexy” song, I mean. And although it’s a well known fact that Halfrican men can’t dance (‘cos they’re too sexy or something); Big Guy still manages to exceed all expectations.

♪ I'm too sexy for my love my love my love.
Yeah baby
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirts
So sexy it hurts

And I'm too sexy for Milan
Too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car
Too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far

And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
What do you think about that?

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my
Too sexy for my too sexy for my
'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk yea on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat
Too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love

Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
And I'm too sexy for this song ♪

Let’s face it, some guys are just too sexy. It’s a curse.

It’s our curse too.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sheriff David Clarke B-Slaps Eric Holder. Pile On!

Wow, there’s a whole lot of B-slapping going on here: In his interview with Megyn Kelly, Sheriff Clarke takes the back of his hand to Ricky Holder (AG, USA), Congressman Al Green (D, Texas), Big Guy (D, WORLD), and Al Sharpton (A-H at large). Compare this clip with the Standup for Hillary video (alternate title: “Burn this B***h Down”) and tell me: who would you vote for?

Butt let’s focus on Eric Holder, our Attorney General who’s been “B-Slapping” Americans of no-color around since he arrived on the scene six years ago. Now, it’s finally your turn; I hope you enjoy my all new POS (Post Obama Syndrome) Therapy® - Eric Holder edition!!

If you’ve already taken advantage of my free POS Barry Therapy®, or my Post-Obamacare Syndrome Gruber Therapy® no further instructions are required. If you’re new to my clinic, the therapy sessions are easy and free (unlike ObamaCare). It requires no previous experience, very little knowledge, has no rules and the objective is purposely unclear – just like being a Community Agitator!

For immediate relief at any time (the clinic is open 24-7) here’s all you have to do:

• Navigate to my permanent Barry Therapy Clinic (it's over there --> in my sidebar) and select the “Holder” session
• Watch Holder free fall, banging into and bouncing off the sharp points of Sheriff David Clarke’s badge to your hearts’ content
• When Ricky lands in a crevasse and stops falling, just grab him by the head, butt or feet with your mouse and push, pull or squeeze him over, under or through the bumpers. He’ll even fit through invisible cracks – just like the slimy rodent he is!

No prescription is required and treatment will be available whenever you need it. So for those of you who qualify, go ahead and exercise your white privilege. See if you can put the points of those stars where they’ll do the most good.

Like stupid, you can’t fix race baiting; butt you sure can fling it around

POS Holder Therapy: reparations for the rest of us

CAUTION: Use only as prescribed. This IS ADDICTIVE!

Linked By: BFH @ iOTWREPORT, and Moonbattery, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Ferguson, NYC and now the Ongoing Zwarte Piet Controversy in Holland

“Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man ."

Yes I know: another day, another racist outrage. Butt do you know what tomorrow is? It’s the Eve of St. Nicholas Day. You do remember St. Nicholas don’t you? Aka St. Nick, aka Sinterklaas?

You may recall when we discussed him last year, during one of BO’s European tours. St. Nick, Dutch progenitor of our own American Santa Claus, visits children on the eve of his feast day (December 6), bringing them small gifts (i.e. no iPhones or Xboxes):

Later on the night of December 5th, Sinterklaas takes his book of names and, dressed in his long red robes trimmed in white fur, goes out with Zwarte Piet in the nighttime delivering gifts to the good children.

Whoa! Timeout: who is this “Zwarte Piet” and what does he have to do with our story?

It appears that he’s an undocumented immigrant who came to Holland via Spain in search of a better life, and to do the work that the Dutch wouldn’t do:

A few weeks before St. Nicholas Day, Sinterklass and his Moorish helper, Zwarte Piet, which means "Black Pete", arrive from Spain in Amsterdam, Holland. They are greeted by the Royal Family. Sinterklass is dressed in his long red bishop's robes, wears a mantle and carries a crozier.

Later on the night of December 5th, Sinterklaas takes his book of names and goes out with Zwarte Piet in the nighttime delivering gifts to the good children. The bad children are said to get a lump of coal and the naughtiest of the children might get stuffed into his bag and taken back to Spain! 

Well, that’s one way to handle the “dreamers” who aren’t behaving themselves.

They wake up in the morning to find their shoes filled with nuts and candies, and a small bag of chocolate coins wrapped in gold paper -- or a lump of coal!

Good grief, we’re already pushing it with the “chocolates,” butt a lump of coal!? You’ve got to be kidding. Besides, now that the kids have discovered there are iPhones and televisions out there, just for the taking whether they’ve been good or not, the small treats in the shoes lose much of their appeal.

Butt let’s get back to Zwarte Piet, or Black Pete if you will. While St. Nick’s original little helper was a Muslim convert from Morocco, now days they just take any old white Dutch guy and let him put on blackface and pretend to be  Black Pete. It’s stunning that this blatantly racist behavior has been allowed to continue, despite protests around the country.

At this point it’s unclear whether old St. Nick will be able to continue his good works if Black Pete is no longer allowed to assist him. Butt don’t worry, we probably don’t need him imposing his Christian-based values on  little Dutch children – many of whom are Muslim now – anyhow.

So I’ve got to run, I have to bake some Dutch speculaas – the original gingerbread men – for tomorrow’s feast.

If you wish to review the original BHO-gingerbread story from last year, it’s right here. Including the special gingerbread man the Belgians made for Big Guy…

and a special section on speculaas.

Happy St. Nicholas Day Eve!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Incitement To Riot: In Which We All Gang Up and Kill a Mockingbird

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - Atticus Finch

Unable to produce any evidence of a real GOP WarOnWomen, the NeoComs have taken to perusing Facebook for evidence of violations of Geneva protocols. And darned if they don’t find them!

Hey! No unsolicited poking!

And when they do, all they need do is turn the evidence over to the MSM, where the war will be prosecuted to the full extent of their law. Take the case of Elizabeth Lauten (womyn): for making a derogatory comment about the Wee Won’s (young womyns). She was given the Sara Palin (womyn) treatment by journ-O-lists like Terrence McCoy (man).

From Ms.NBC to the WaPo, Journ-O-lists went on high alert to unearth anything from Lauren’s past, from undergraduate student days to present, that could be used to destroy her for making what have been deemed to be mean, hateful remarks (which are apparently worse than sexual assault or child rape). Everything from Lauren’s underage arrest for shoplifting (charges that were dropped, butt apparently not expunged from the long arm of SNOPES), to other mean things she’s said were churned up for use at her media lynching.

Odd, isn’t it, that MSM can unearth all fashion of incriminating evidence against a low level GOP staffer virtually overnight, butt can’t locate one single admissions application, transcript or paper of Dear Leader’s in over 6 years?

Expunged we much!

Anyway, in the process of dispatching mean girl Lauren, the lapdogs have managed to send a chilling message to any future, likeminded, loudmouthed womyns like her (i.e. GOP): they had better not exercise their free speech privilege in a fashion critical of Dear Leader en familia, or they too run the risk of being tarred, feathered and run out of town on a railcar. 

Boy, if you can be destroyed that easily for making a stupid comment, how is it that anyone is still employed by Ms.NBC?

L to R: Rachael “the brain” Madow, Toure, “the anti-Semite,” Mellitha “Tampon-Ear” Harris-Perry

That’s all folks: I’m sick to death of Ferguson. All I can add is the Instapundit’s summary of it all:

“There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.”

P.S. Any bets on how much time the media vigilantes will spend on this salacious WarOnWeeWomen (i.e.pedophilia) Facebook post by Darnell Dockett  – a Black Man!? (h/t Gerard) This one might be hard to handicap: a black man, a Wee Won, a big butt, Lady M, el Presidente…good luck!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Attention All Coppers: Prepare to Go-Pro

Remember that book Big Guy bought - Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus?

Big Black Militarized Bus: still plenty of room under it

Well, make room under there, all you stinky PFOB’s (Previous Friends Of Barry’s), because BO just kicked all of America’s police officers under there too.

At a historic meeting of Progressives and Professional Community Agitators convened by Big Guy: Little Joe, Al Sharpton (our house race baiter and Ms.NBC host), several mayors, the presidents of the National Urban League and the National Council of La Raza, two representatives of the NAACP, the director of the ACLU, GlobalGrind.com president Michael Skolnik, and artist T-Dubb – butt nobody from the Ferguson police force.

The meeting was intended to follow up on the media coverage of the event and shift the conversation to, well… here, in a tweet:

h/t ConservativeTreehouse

More specifically, it was to discuss ways to build trust between police and “communities of color.” And if you’ve heard all this before, don’t worry, this time it will be different:

"Part of the reason this time will be different is because the president of the United States is deeply invested in making sure that this time is different," Obama said.

Because our el Presidente is now speaking in the third person. Which always means an Executive Order is sure to follow. So right on clue:

Obama said he will issue an executive order that will require federal agencies that run the programs to consult with law enforcement and civil rights and civil liberties organizations and recommend changes within four months to make sure the programs are accountable and transparent.

"We're going to make sure that we're not building a militarized culture inside our local law enforcement," Obama said. He said the goal instead is to ensure that "crime goes down while community trust in the police goes up."

Wait, what? Is this the same “president of the United States” who in 2008 said:

“We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.”

Oh well, I guess anyone can change their mind. So it’s important to remember that the last thing out of Big Guy’s mouth is always the current operating plan. Therefore, when he said “if you like your plan you can keep your plan” dozens of times, what he meant was this “clarifying” statement, issued years later: “if you like your plan you can keep your plan, if it hasn’t changed since the law passed.” (Whoops - “Pants on Fire” alert!)

And the same conditions hold true when “the president” told the American people (22 times) that he “wasn’t the Emperor of the United States” who could do an end-around Congress and mandate amnesty…until he did.

So here’s the plan as I understand it: Big Guy’s issuing an Executive Order to replace police military gear with Go-pros,

I hope we don’t go with the lowest bid

and the Reverend Al is going to hold meetings to discuss our feelings on race for the next 4 months. I guess that sounds like a plan – at least to a community organizer.

Frankly, I like this guy’s plan better. Much better. Hey! He might make a good replacement for Eric the Red.

Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke comments on Ferguson and Attorney General Eric Holder:

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Heart of Darkness: From Georgetown to Ferguson

You remember this article - Style, elegance and her mother's winning smile: How Malia Obama, 16, is turning into a Michelle Jr. – from the Daily Mail?

Well, here’s why - she comes by it naturally!  Just look at this photo of Malia’s Mom (Princeton ‘85) and Grandma enjoying the Princeton women’s basketball game against American University last week:

The girls come from a long line of charmers, which explains their natural teen angst on display at the turkey pardoning event – which we need not discuss again. It’s just their heritage.

The Obama/Robinson gals went to cheer on Lady M’s niece, Leslie Robinson, who plays basketball for the Princeton Tigers (Shout out and big thanks for the legacy admission to Auntie MO!).

Wait - aren’t legacy admissions part of that whole white-privilege thing?

Princeton won, of course  – Ivy League rules!

For his holiday family bonding photo op Big Guy took the girls to a book store in Georgetown on small business Saturday to pick up a stack of books hand selected by key Big White staffers.

Smile like you mean it this time girls!

Included in the 17 books on the Presidential shopping list was Joseph Conrad’s classic Heart of Darkness which prompted someone at Vox to wonder:

I would be very curious to know who in the Obama White House has taken an interest in reading about colonial depravation and horror in 19th-century sub-Saharan Africa.

Indeed, what significance could possibly be implied from the fact the President of the United States is reading a dystopian tale?

I mean, he’s got the Ferguson thing completely under control:

Obama is then scheduled to meet with local and national civil rights leaders.

Civil rights leaders like race-pimp Al Sharpton, no doubt.

“We lost the round, but the fight ain’t over. You won the first round, Mr. Prosecutor, but don’t cut your gloves off, ‘cause the fight’s not over. Justice will come to Ferguson.” - Al Sharpton, race hustler, drug dealer, tax cheat, community agitator and carpet bagger.

Perhaps equally concerning, or at least telling, were other staff book selections such as:

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, by Atul Gawande (non-fiction, about aging, death, and end-of-life care) – can you say “death panels”?

Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune Truth and Faith in The New China, by Evan Osnos – because fortune, truth and faith have left this country

And these, in the Children’s Books category:

Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business, by Barbara Park – “monkey business” – really!?!

Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, by Barbara Park – spoiler alert: it’s coming from all the bodies stuffed under the bus.

A Barnyard Collection: Click, Clack, Moo, and More, by Doreen Cronin – no comment

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and American Digest, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Nutcracker…Not that one.

Thanksgiving weekend marks the official kickoff of the holiday season and it’s always a busy one. Today for example Raj, Little Mo, DeweyFromDetroit and I traditionally go see the Nutcracker.  No, not Val Jar or Lady M –

White House entrance to Val-Jar’s office

The Nutcracker I’m talking about is Tchaikovsky's ballet. Neither of our Big White nutcrackers enjoy the music, greatly preferring the beat and lyrics of a good Beyoncé song and dance to that of classic ballet. Odd, as Bey has been known to “borrow” from the ballet art form. And I’m not just talking about the ballerina heels she sometimes wears:

No need to trade in your toe shoes for stilettos when you can do both 

I guess you can’t blame MO and Val for not liking the ballet. I mean, the man behind the musical genius of the Nutcracker, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, was obviously the beneficiary of white privilege, having attended the Russian Imperial School of Jurisprudence before settling on a musical career. Heck, he died before the Bolshevik Revolution even got underway; still enjoying his white privilege guilt free.

Olga Preobrazhenskaya as the Sugar Plum Fairy and Nikolai Legat as Prince Coqueluche in the Grand pas de deux in the original Russian production of The Nutcracker.

Still, I think if they went to see the Nutcracker our nutcrackers would find much to enjoy.

For example, I think Lady M could identify with the Mother Ginger character (who has frequently been portrayed by a cross-dressing male dancer in blackface). And her costume would make Lady M’s butt look small.

And as for Val-Jar…well, you know:

The Rat King, slaying the wooden soldiers

and they both enjoy the Ruskie dancers:

Well, I’ve got to run. I hope you all enjoy wrapping up the holiday weekend with your own end-of-leftovers  dance.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network