Advantage: USA!

I’ve already wasted my extra hour as I just slept through it. That’s how you know for sure I don’t have a cat.

LOL indeed: It knows it’s really 8:07

So on this fine first day of non-daylight saving time, I have nothing on offer. The best I can do is showcase a charming little story out of New Zealand. It seems a couple found this huge potato growing in their garden. Since they didn’t plant it they’ve no idea how it got there. Colin explains that their gardening technique consists of “throw(ing) a bunch of cow manure and straw onto their garden and see what happens.” Showcasing their giant potato however has proved more difficult than expected, due to rapidly decaying conditions:

As the couple showed the potato off, it began drying out and losing weight. Mold started growing from its wounds. "He was getting a bit pongy," said Colin, referring to the potato's smell.

So he stuck it in the deep freeze and plans to turn it into vodka, which seems a sound plan. 

Still, weighing in at 17 pounds, they believe the potato - which they’ve named “Doug”- is the world’s largest.

To which I say “hold my beer New Zealand…”

Our sniffy spud – who we’ve named Joey - has your pongy potato beat by a country kilometer.

But not every country “elects” one to the highest office in the land. Although honestly, New Zealand does seem to give us a run for our money on that front as well.

New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern abruptly ended a presser after being heckled by an anti-vaxxer 

Of course our Potato can yell at reporters with the best of them, so I still claim advantage: USA!

Time: Make The Most Of It

This is your annual reminder to turn your clocks back tonight - although an hour seems somehow grossly inadequate. While some would have it turn back 20, 30…50 years, I’d settle for pre-COVID days.

Ode to the COVID years

Back before it seemed so dark so much of the time; before the Great Pretenders, Joe and the Ho, began their…whatever we’re calling it these days.

But shoot! You do have to give them credit for knowing how to make hay while the sun shines, as they say. Just like mushy-headed Joey and addle-brained Pelosi told us they would, they herded enough of their cats together to pass a $1.2 trillion “Infrastructure Bill.” It shall forever be known as “The Day Light Saving Victory Bill” passed under cover of darkness in the waning hours of 2021’s Daylight Saving Time.

Joey better hope his Ho is ready because his days are numbered

By her own admission, Nancy still doesn’t know quite what’s in the bill (we never do until we pass it) but she she did say that it contains everything from “privilege strug” to “vertable bird baths” and will not cause any inflation. In fact, because it’s all about families, jobs and the children (of course) it will actually “lower the cost of raising children in our country.” She proceeded to sum it up magnificently: “it is what it is because whatever it is it’s the greatest monumental historic legislation” evah!

Yes my friends, we’ve temporarily lit in a very dark place. Still, we all have just that one sidewalk square of life to maneuver.

I would suggest instead of just standing there we might all wish to dance a little.

Make the most of it…and tonight you get an extra hour to do so.

At Warped Speed

All evidence to the contrary, here’s proof that time is slowing down.

Federal authorities on Tuesday arrested Igor "Iggy" Danchenko, a Russian national who was the primary researcher for the so-called Steele Dossier - a compendium of opposition research funded by the 2016 Hillary Clinton presidential campaign and used to smear Donald Trump as a Russian operative. It was also used as justification for an FBI wiretap application targeting former Trump adviser Carter Page.

Yes, that’s correct: Special Counsel John Durham’s probe into the origins of the FBI’s Crossfire Hurricane investigation into former President Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign has just now resulted in an arrest – 5 years hence. Who was that wag who said “justice delayed is justice denied?”

Jonathan Turley speculates that Durham, acknowledged to be a painfully methodical if not positively glacial prosecutor, has only just begun his time-warp prosecutions.

Danchenko is not someone who immediately comes across as an apex defendant — the highest target in an investigation. He was a key source used by others to advance false or unsubstantiated claims against Trump. He is the type of defendant that prosecutors pressure to flip against those who retained him or used him in this effort…there is every indication that he is not done by a long shot with this investigation.

While vindication is nice it’s generally nicer to get it before being dead and buried.

But unless somebody figures out how to manage that space-time continuum thingy,

we’ll all be dead or sucked into a black hole before Durham actually gets around to indicting the people actually responsible for perpetrating the second largest hoax of the century. You know, the hoax that tried to take down a sitting President but instead simply fueled a Leftist mania that led to the greatest hoax of the century.

First the election, then the insurrection: Democrat operatives doing what they do best

Finally: A Hill

This is absolutely the last clue I’m going to give to Democrats for free: you really should internalize your party’s own cynical slogans - it IS all about the children.

 

Joy Reid just now:

"Exit polls showed that the coronavirus was not important to voters in Virginia. It was education. Which is code for white parents don’t like the idea of teaching about race."

It's like she's trying to campaign for the GOP midterms already. pic.twitter.com/GU1qRnrQ62

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) November 3, 2021

It should at least be noted in passing that:

"White parents don't like the idea of teaching about race" is code for calling them racist.

Like Candace I find it stunning that parents don’t want their children taught by people who hate them and their values.

I’m very surprised to learn that classifying parents as domestic terrorists for not wanting their children to learn racist and pornographic material in school is not a winning election strategy.

Who knew.

— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) November 3, 2021

Congratulations Democrats: you’ve finally managed to find a hill that ordinary Republicans are willing to die on. I wasn’t sure there was one.

It’s a start

This Is What A Pendulum Swing Looks Like

Jake Tapper (finally) had to announce in the early morning hours that McAuliffe lost to a white supremacist:

“Youngkin pulling off a critical victory for his party in the highest-stakes election of the night. This is the first time Republicans have won an election for Virginia's top office in 12 years.” He went on, because he couldn’t believe it himself:

“Again, CNN projecting Glenn Youngkin has been elected governor of Virginia. And Dana bash, this is the announcement that Joe Biden will not be happy to hear, and it also shows how incredibly divided this country is.”

If the new standard for showing “how divided the country is” consists of nothing other than a Republican win I guess we are hopelessly broken, sort of like Humpty Dumpty.

 

“And all all the king’s horses

…or horses-asses, as the case may be

And all the king’s men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

Well no wonder: they all look like a bunch of colonial imperialists

So don’t forget about Humpty Dumpty. This helpful little nursery rhyme presents an important metaphor that we need to keep in mind: the Deep State may be deep, but it is not fathomless. In Virginia ordinary moms and dads seem to have found their depth with CRT and idiotic gender-neutral policies and bathrooms. I do hope the rest of America is paying attention.

Tic Tok…

In Which We Carry On, Regardless

Busy day here – nothing interesting, just busy. So I leave you to take this personality test and report back so we know best how to utilize your skills around here. It’s pretty easy: just find the box (or boxes) that apply to you. And please don’t cheat: it will help no one.

To my shame, I’m primarily an “E” – eternally curious yet mnemonically challenged – with a few stray tendencies towards the “be prepared” personality of the “L” type. Definitely not a natural leader like “G”.

So go ahead: locate your place on the Great Mandala (an equally accurate personality assessment), discover your magical power and carry on.

 

To our Prayer Warriors: if you would, say a little prayer for my SIL who’s having a hip (Correction) replacement this morning. And we thank you in advance.

Ghost Suppers And The Day Of The Dead

For Christians, November 1st is All Saint’s Day, followed by tomorrow’s observance of All Souls’ Day. Mexicans go one better and use both November 1st and 2nd to celebrate Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, a very creepy way to honor those who’ve passed over if you ask me.

If you wish to do a full cultural immersion approach to remembering dead ancestors I vastly prefer the Native American tradition of “Ghost Suppers” held by the Anishinaabe peoples of Michigan, the Odawa, Ojibwa and Potawatomi tribes.  It seems to be a bit of a moveable feast, although always sometime in November as the barrier between the living and the spirit world is said to be weaker during this season. It is usually celebrated on either November 1st or the first weekend of the month.

The Ghost Supper, also known as “Spirit Feast,” is a communal gathering to honor and remember ancestors and loved ones who have departed from the physical world. A ceremonial bonfire is mandatory, as it represents a portal for the ancestral spirits to return to enjoy the meal. The fire is lit at dusk and put out at dawn. Tobacco, along with small offerings of all the food prepared for the feast are thrown in the fire as offerings to the dead.

The dinner begins with a “smudging” over the food – a blessing that consists of the burning of sage. The feast itself is similar to a Thanksgiving potluck including traditional dishes such as turkey and dressing, venison, wild rice, fry bread, potatoes, squash, corn soup and smoked whitefish. It is customary to leave doors unlocked during Ghost Suppers so that people (and spirits) may enter freely. In many places families hold Ghost Suppers  on the same night and neighbors, friends and relatives wander from house to house to share parts of the meal with each other and to honor all the ancestors.

What a sight these neighborhoods must be on a cool autumn night: people eerily traipsing from house to house in the intermingled mist and bonfire smoke.

Yes, I definitely prefer the customs of the Northern Native Americans to those of the Southern Northern Native Americans; I’ll take eerie to creepy any day.

So get your spirits on: you don’t have to live on a Reservation to honor your dead ancestors. You might want to think twice about leaving your door unlocked however, now that police are being defunded left and right and first responders everywhere are being fired for not getting vaccinated. No need to join your ancestors ahead of schedule.

Okay, It’s Official: Halloween is Today

As it turns out, “near Halloween” wasn’t near enough. While I thought yesterday was designated official Halloween hand-out night apparently I was mistaken. Not a soul; not one single trick-or-treater.

It was like waiting for Godot, a no-show

So I guess I need to mentally prepare myself again to be interrupted dozens of times throughout the evening in order to comply with the demands for loot from would-be evil-doers. I can’t believe I once thought this night was fun!

I’ve no idea what I must have been thinking, but once upon a time we entertained on Halloween, even during work years when it fell in the middle of the week. I know: insane, but it seemed fun at the time. I started with simple, just a pot of chili or maybe “ghoulash” but eventually branched out to more ambitious fun fare. One year I made Toad in a Hole, only with tenderloin instead of sausages and decorated the finished dish with little paper gravestones. Sometimes I made beef stew with ghostie-potatoes.

Yeah, cute: mine never turned out this well

Or sometimes just a spooky pizza if we did a lot of appetizers.

Then, as friends began to move away we started to turn off the lights and just went out to dinner until the witching hour had passed. Most recently it seems easier to just stay home and give in to the little gremlins demands. Yesterday we made Shepherd’s pie with real mashed potatoes but by the time suppertime rolled around we were both too tired to eat it. That’s when you know you’re getting too old to do Halloween properly.

Oh well, tonight we’ll enjoy leftovers, handout the (full-sized) Reese's and Kit Kat’s to what is now this neighborhood's second and even third generation of (mostly) adorable wee-ones. And we will celebrate the arrival of another autumn of crunchy leaves, morning mists, shortening days and cooler temps, while preparing to move into winter and all that entails.