Caturday Reflections

The more things change…

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. - H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Black History month edition:

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King  (1929-1968)

Caturday edition:

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods. - Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011)

NOTE: My eyes are slowly improving as the steroid treatment continues, enough so that I can fully appreciate the beautiful flowers that arrived yesterday with love from the MOTI. As ever I can’t thank you enough for the joy, beauty, scent and love they bring with them. This arrangement includes bells of Ireland, saucer sized pink Japanese peonies and nearly as large vibrant yellow roses.

Add a cat and you would have absolute perfection.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day To One and All

A few random thoughts compiled from St. Valentine’s Day posts past:

Is Valentine’s Day not the best made-up holiday ever? It’s a fake holiday for lovers: lovers of flowers, chocolates, sweets, puppies…no matter who,

               

or what, you love there’s something for everyone.

Just remember: Valentine’s Day is both an exhibition AND a competition. There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February: A New Month

 

So…retina specialist yesterday. My ophthalmologist initially diagnosed my blurry vision as posterior vitreous detachment (PVD), creating large floaters. As it turned out that much is true - but likely the result of, not the source of, the problem. Long story as short as I can make it: one of the immuno-therapies I was using (Keytruda), while doing a good job of keeping the cancer at bay, began to attack healthy tissue: my eyes

My sight grew worse week by week so I kept returning, at the behest of my oncology team, to return to the ophthalmologist. When I could no longer read anything on the eye chart further checking ensued. It revealed rather severe uveitis – general eye inflammation - and the Doc put me on steroid drops multiple times a day and consulted with my oncologist as he now suspected Keytruda was the culprit. Next visit still inflamed so he did a retinal scan and found they too were significantly inflamed and added a NSAID drop along with the steroid. At this point Raj, who had been consulting with an ophthalmologist friend (whom some of you may know) for weeks, insisted on a referral to a retina specialist, who I saw on yesterday.

She found I still have uveitis, retina inflammation and also blood vessel inflammation but saw significantly improvement since my first scan and she was optimistic about reversing the situation . I ith the continuation of steroid treatment. I was expecting to need steroid shots in the eye but she feels I was responding well to the topicals and recommended staying the course for another month and see if the situation continues to improve.

My vision has improved a bit, but as both docs told me it will take awhile as it didn’t happen overnight. Yes, I know. I’ve been complaining of blurry vision since early September when the initial diagnosis of  PVD was made.  In a perfect world it would have been diagnosed then, the Keytruda link made and the infusions stopped earlier to avoid more damage. But who knows, maybe the drug did more good than bad in the intervening months and continuing it was best in the long run. I realize I’m putting my rose colored glasses on but like I said, who knows?

Besides, I have bigger fish to fry.

No news on the cancer front just now but I have another round of tests: echocardiogram, brain MRI and body scans, scheduled in a couple of weeks and we’ll take it from there. I still have balance issues and very low energy but am working on that. I thank God that my sight is beginning to improve a bit even though I have a long way to go. It had gotten to the point that I could no longer read even headline sized text  and the rest of the world was just a blur. So I’m grateful for every little improvement, which feels momentous .

I am  most grateful to everyone who has said a prayer and/or sent good thoughts and positive energy my way. You’re keeping me afloat and I’m sorry I can do so little in return other than to say thank you.

You don’t appreciate your sight until it’s no longer there

 

Gerard

Another great  man with talent on loan from God has passed:

Gerard Van der Leun: December 26, 1945 – January 27, 2023

A writer of wonderful insight and talent, a poet of penetrating and reverberating verses, story teller of innumerable ‘walking around’ stories and lover of ephemera, the arcane and kinky. How one man found the time to do so much internet cruising, digging, writing and posting I’ve never been able to understand but admired greatly.  

Many of you probably have already heard about Gerard’s death by now, the rest of you have a treasure trove of archival materials to go through as Gerard had been manning his blog for 20 plus years, starting around 9/11, I believe. Many of his pieces are priceless, timeless gems that he just freely cast out there for our enjoyment. I suspect many of us will continue to enjoy them time and time again.

Gerard was a writer’s writer, a poet’s poet, a yarn weaver’s woof and warp: and a very fine man. His integrity stands out so obviously in an age that  seems to put little value on it any more, especially in the public space.

I’ve had Raj help me collect and assemble a few of our fond memories of Gerard. It’s all I know to do. He will be so missed by so many.

Gerard was something of an unofficial mentor to me. He found my little blog in 2009 and awarded me his “Bestest New Blog of the Week”  causing a yuge boost in daily visitors. Of course I didn’t have  many at the time so quadrupling it was pretty easy but it gave me the encouragement to continue. I of course thanked him profusely and explained I was most appreciative as I was but a very small blog with a dream. He assured me “it’s not the size of your quiver, but what you’ve got it it.”

In the summer of 2010, Gerard was named Editor In Chief of the then new and exciting RIGHTNETWORK. Soon after, I received an email from Gerard asking “What sort of traffic are you seeing these days?” Curious, I responded that we're pretty tiny and we have no marketing skill in our joint portfolio. His response was “I am working on a fiendish plan. Details later. Thanks for the numbers. And remember "It's not the size of the wand. It's the magic that's in it." I imagine he had a slew of these encouraging adages that he used to lift sagging spirits. It was quite effective.

Of course RIGHTNETWORK was short lived as some of the financial backers (like Kelsey Grammer) got cold feet in the increasingly bifurcated political environment. Unfortunately my Sundance movie reviews that were to run there never came to fruition other than on my blog. But I remember when Gerard and I were discussing them I wanted to make sure he understood that I didn’t actually screen all of the movies I planned to provide reviews for. His response was classic Gerard: “What kind of a journalist would you be if you actually had to see the work you were critiquing?”

I will miss Gerard terribly.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned. - Edna St. Vincent Millay

Side Note: My eyes are no better so I thank Raj for actually compiling this post for me. I do however finally have a diagnosis and an appointment with a retina specialist a week from tomorrow. Will provide further health updates  next week.

Open Thread 1/23/23

Alas, I currently cannot see much of anything at all so carry on in my stead.

Open Thread Bouquet

 

The day after my infusion someone rang my door bell and hander Raj this unbelievable, lovely flower arrangement.

It made me smile!

I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for me; prayers, cards, letters, emails and flowers. My vision has gotten so bad that the spider web of floaters blocks even my yuge 27” monitor, so Raj has to read and type for me.

Stay prayerful and carry on…

ps: I think the purple-blue flowers are anemones if anyone is curious.

Sunday Open Thread

Open Thread:

Have at it.

Happy New Year 2023

Given the state of my eyes I can’t really post anything new but I have assembled a few excerpts from previous New Years’ posts which are mostly still relevant.

From revelry:

To those who made it to midnight on purpose to usher in the  new year I salute you. To those who were forced to make it till midnight by merrymakers in your neighborhood ushering in the new year, I sympathize. And to those who were awakened from a sound sleep by neighborhood merrymakers ushering in the new year, I empathize.

to predictions, 

I’m not making any more predictions because I just realized they’d be mostly pessimistic which somehow doesn’t seem appropriate for a New Year post. I’m still optimistic about some things but at my age it takes infinitely more effort to convince myself that logic and circumstance warrant such irrational exuberance. So I tend to conserve my optimism these days for really important stuff, like saving the world. [Relevant current article]

and resolutions:

Happy New Year everyone! We’ve made it through one Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year.

I don’t know what year that last excerpt was from but I must say, it  applies to 2022 as well.

When my eyesight improves I might just muster enough energy to make a couple of casual promises to myself.

Until then I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year.