Our Final Day of Vacay with High Societe

Yesterday was our final full day of vacay, and we didn’t let it go to waste:

The family motorcaded from their rented farm compound for about 10 minutes, before turning into a private area not far from the beach they visited a week earlier. The new area looks out on Jobs Neck Pond, Edgartown Great Pond and, beyond that, the Atlantic Ocean.

Ha, ha! That’s a good one: “Jobs Neck Pond?” Although around here that’s pronounced “joab’s,” its as close as Big Guy’s been to anything like “jobs” all year. Of course, there’s always been some confusion over how to spell and pronounce that word:

As you might imagine, it really is a 4-letter word around here now.

And then, another awkward move: our scout’s GPS must have been jammed, because he missed his turn for our trip to our private beach, and the whole caravan had to – well - you know:

In the middle of Edgartown-West Tisbury Road, the motorcade, consisting of several SUVs, an ambulance and a half-dozen state police motorcycles, executed a U-turn and headed down to Oyster Pond Road , where they apparently headed to the beach.

That’s not exactly the best visual for our Recovery Summer is it? And I suppose the trolls at FOX News will try to connect the dots to Big Guy’s other U-turns: missile defense, prisoner abuse photos, Guantanamo trials, and, of course, our voting for the Mosque at Ground Zero, before we voted against it.

So as you might imagine, we are going to try to change the subject ASAP. Next week we’ll switch to the “Victory in Iraq” hype (which, if I remember correctly, was a war that Big Guy was against before he was for it).

The summer the oceans began to recede: rhetorically speaking.

But we’re not wasting any time getting people’s minds off our economy-on-life-support. We’re cutting our last day of vacay short  to fly to New Orleans for a commemorative 5 year anniversary of George W. Bush’s Katrina catastrophe. This is to remind everyone how badly President Bush screwed up in New Orleans because he hated black people. And Big Guy is simpatico.

We’ll be doing one of our famous touch-‘n-goes in the Crescent City (no Mooselim jokes, please – NOLA has enough problems as it is). While we’re there, Big Guy and TOTUS will be delivering a stirring, empathetic, and emotional speech. Or at least that’s what he ordered.

But sadly, this marks the end of our life-style of the rich and famous for this year. We all had an action-packed, fun-filled time on the Rock, and will sure miss the good times.

Banana Mo 

 

BO’s good walk in the woods

View Full Album

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goodbye to all our new best friends on the Rock. Till next year!

So, we’re puttin’ our vacation, and our Recovery Summer behind us. Time to stop playing with our little balls:

Another Thousand Words                                         via Larwyn

It looks like the country is going to need some much bigger balls in order to restore America:

  So bring it!

Our Recovery Summer: We Could Use Those Jaws of Life About Now.

We dined last night on the very beach where Jaws was filmed! Butt more on that later. Yesterday was jam packed. Breakfast, then a bicycle ride for the whole family for a whole hour. Then Big guy played a round with Mayor Bloomberg and Vern Jordan -  golf, that is. Lady M took lunch, went to her spa treatments, and enjoyed afternoon cocktails and snacks before dressing for dinner.

“Oooohhh boys! I think she's come back for her noon feeding.” Prof. Hooper

Which unfortunately I’m not permitted to release any pictures of, but trust me: it’s just as well.

The mayor forgot to pack golf pants, and had to borrow a pair from MO. And look! Room in the back pockets for two Blackberries – with space to spare !

Big Guy’s day was not all play however. He took a conference call on the plummeting rate of GDP growth; and then chatted Mayor Bloomberg up in the clubhouse for 15 minutes about the economy before hitting the links:

“The president and Mayor Bloomberg took the opportunity to discuss plans for short- and long-term economic growth at a pivotal point in our recovery,”

I wasn’t there, but I heard they discussed Bloomie’s business interests in Dubai, and how we might want to expand the new Finance Bill to include some aspects of Shari’a finance law. You know, to improve our understanding of the religion of peace? Besides, China might get tired of buying our toxic debt and we’ll need to find a new candy man.

But like I said, I wasn’t there. It’s just hearsay.

“I'm familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass.” Prof. Hooper ( Photo from LIFE via BNI)

and, “I'm familiar with the fact that [YOU, TOO] are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass:”

Housing Starts? More like housing stops. Lowest levels since – well, the graph doesn’t really go back that far.

We capped the day off with a dinner visit to the fishing community of Menemsha, where some of the actual scenes from the 1975 Steven Spielberg blockbuster "Jaws" were filmed. But don’t think the president of the Free (for now) World is intimidated by sharks.

 “You’ve got city hands, Mr. Hooper”

No sir!They’ve been swimming around him for years. 

And because we wanted to be sure to catch the sunset at the Beach Plum (owned by eco-filmmaker and environmentalist Bob Nixon – my goodness there’s a lot of money in that eco-business!), we had to skip the NAACP event hosted elsewhere on the Rock, as well as the dinner beforehand. A shame too, because Big Guy’s Harvard BFF, Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. was attending. Gosh! We haven’t had a chance to catch up with him since he was arrested last year by those racist cops in Cambridge.

 Proof that Big Guy’s NOT a Muslim. (Having a beer with Prof. Gates and Stupid, last August.)

But we had a lovely dinner at the the Beach Plum Inn. As their Website explains: “Since we are located in one of the many dry towns on Martha's Vineyard, feel free to BYOB.” So we did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it seems like a lot, but ValJar came with us. And although the restaurant is famous for their gorgeous sunsets over the ocean, somehow, we missed it.

No biggie. We revolve around our own Orb.

Bikin’ in tha G-Block: Git Yer Motor Runnin’

News Wrap-up at 11:00, on the 9th day of our vacay. Inside the G-Block (Shep Smith’s now defunct 7th segment):

 

Today, we’re bikin’ tha Rock, inside yer G-Block. Tha G-Block: I wish it started with an “O,” butt it dOn’t.

 

If yer new to tha G-Block or ya just don’t remember tha rules ya can go to tha original G-Block post “More Body Scanners In: The G-Block.”

WARNIN’

THAT ORIGINAL G-BLOCK POST

CONTAINS IMAGES THAT MIGHT CAUSE

YA TO LOSE YER LUNCH

 

In a nutshell, here in tha G-Block, we drop endin’ “g”s and anythin’ else we feel like, that makes us sound like the WONs when they’re talkin’ like the peeps. Ya know, like they do when they’re on the campaign stump in the inner city, or tourin’ a battery plant.

 

A Little Travelin’ Music – Born To Be Wild: Steppenwolf

 

First up in G, Big Guy’s takin’ to tha trails of Correllus State Forest on Martha's Vineyard in West Tisbury. Last year, everyone wuz hatin’ on Bo for settin’ a bad example by not wearin’ a helmut. So this year we’re sportin’ a colorful brain bucket. No wise cracks!

 

Git Yer Motor Runnin’                          (photo:AP) 

 

 Tha “Capt. America” look we were goin’ for. I think it worked, don’t you?

 

Next up, we see Big Guy givin’ Wee Won-1 a crash course in leadership. He’d teach her more, butt TOTUS is back at Blue Herron Farm, chillin’.

 

“Leadin’ Wee Won-1 and tha free universe”  (photo: AP)

 

Tha whole family is goin’ along for tha ride, showin’ their patriotism with bikes in red, blue and...yellow?

 

MO brings up the “rear” banana bike style (photo: Daylife)

WARNIN’: Big Dog On Trail!

And there’s a guy walkin’ his pooch too. (photo: Daylife)

Yer Closin’ Glam shot of the day: in “G” (photo: Daylife)

And that’s yer news, and tha G-Block on this 9th day of our vacation on the Rock 2010.

 

And now, …here comes Bill!

 

 

Loco is Definitely Better

Well, it’s official now. We have confirmation from AP, we are better than you:

And the White House has let it be known that the meals being cooked at their rented vacation compound feature all manner of things from farms and gardens on this island off Cape Cod.

Thank goodness! Chef, who flew in from the Big White to cook for us here on the Rock, is totally committed to the locavore ethic. As are all the local restaurateurs:

Mary Kenworth, owner of SR Restaurant, displays her tomatoes 

"Our real focus and mission, what we're really committed to, is local and sustainable food," said Mary Kenworth, owner of the State Road Restaurant in West Tisbury, where the Obamas dined Tuesday night.

Locavores on the prowl

Which is to say - in addition to demonstrating a “we’re better than you” attitude – that we are only going to eat things from local farms, ranches and fisheries. And there-in lies our first problem.

The local fishermen have apparently launched a protest, complaining that, thanks to Big Guy’s NOAA restrictions on fishing, their livelihood and very survival is being threatened. Now that’s ironic.

It sure won’t look good if we can’t get locally-caught lobster thermador and lobster tempura on our vacay next year. We’ll have one of our little people look into this right away. Thanks for the hat tip!

H/T Local Fishermen

Although, for future reference, if you fishermen really want to get Big Guy’s attention, you may wish to consider following JWF’s advice , and just wave a FREE GAZA banner.

  Protesting: one place where global trumps local

New marketing campaign for locavore shrimp from the Gulf: “They come pre-coated with oil, so you can just fry them in boiling water!”

Butt back to our “better than thou” eating sensibilities here on the Rock. I just wish to point out that the basis for our sense of moral superiority is not simply  healthy eating – although we’re all over that too – it’s much bigger:

supporting local farms, fishermen and ranches not only yields fresher foods, it indirectly helps preserve rural areas against encroaching development and minimizes environmental damage from mega-farms, slaughterhouses and long-distance trucking.

Yep, it prevents all those horrible things that require the use of carbon-based energy.Those horrifying corporate farms, packers and transportation companies that have managed to somehow produce enough food to feed the whole world, and in the process given all of our children fat behinds.

“I’ll have a bucket of that locally made double chocolate death wish ice cream”

Pure evil. Corporate farming I mean. So that’s where we’re focusing our attention. Everything else seems to be under control.

 

BREAKING VACATION ECONOMIC NEWS UPDATE:

U.S. second-quarter GDP revised to 1.6% growth from initial reading of 2.4% growth.

WHOOPS. THAT WAS UNEXPECTED!

Well, at least our GDP is growing, just not as fast as some of our other ASSetts. We’ll have our little people get right on that too.

 Nice Job!

The Word You’re Looking For: M-a-l-a-i-s-e

I submit the following for your consideration, and then I don’t intend to discuss this topic again.

Compare these pictures taken on Martha’s Vineyard yesterday: the adoring crowd waiting for a glimpse of the Won’s:

Preggo

Not preggo

Just picking up some fried seafood for lunch. And besides, nobody wears industrial spanx containment systems if they’re pregnant. So let’s just drop it.

We’re just buying some shrimp, guys, Ok? And a few beers. Coronas.

Beer frame courtesy of the Boston Herald

 

Having some shrimp at Nancy’s              Photo: Boston Herald

By now, I think you all know our track record on vacations - tragedy just seems to follow us like a little black grey cloud hanging over our heads: the Winter Holiday Underpants bomber in Detroit when we were in Hawaii, the death of the Liberal Lyin’ when we on the Rock last August. We’ve been holding our breath, waiting to see what was going to happen this time. Well, we found out yesterday: the economy is blowing up. That’s not good, in case you follow that sort of thing.

Here’s what happened yesterday:

There was a huge, unexpected  drop in new single-family home sales in July. The lowest since 1963. Wow! Big Guy had barely been born, unexpectedly, then... somewhere. Then we weighed in with a record drop of 27% in existing home sales, likewise unexpected. And then the unexpectedly bad news that durable-good orders for July, which analysts had predicted would grow by 3%, came in at only a tenth of that: 0.3%. As Hot Air reported, that’s the good news.  Excluding transportation, durable goods orders fell 3.8% last month.

But since we’re used to this type of crisis while we’re on vacay now, the team sprung into action. Big Guy ordered that today’s unemployment numbers come in 30,000 lower than last week’s (watch for next week’s number to be unexpectedly high as a result), he sent Joey B out to tell everyone again that the economy is going in the right direction (down?), and ordered an emergency conference call with his crack economics team.

Can you hear me now?

A conference call is like a round-table, only without the donuts. Which is to say, pointless. But I guess they all decided to get back together after vacation and get a plan together to fix the economy, which appears to be in a death spiral. So, that’s our plan, and we’re sticking with it.

I’m not sure what the plan will entail this time, and I do know that past performance doesn’t guarantee future results, butt I’m looking for another Trillion dollar stimulus bill. Because Paul Krugman said our whole problem is we didn’t blow enough money the first time. And he’s a Nobel Prize winning, brilliant economist, current writing columns for the NYT (now there’s an economic business model we could emulate). And if that doesn’t work, we’re going to fire our economic forecasters and get some new ones.

So don’t say we don’t have an economic plan: can you say Malaise?

A Pea In The Pod? Here We Go Again.

I just knew this was going to cause trouble when Lady M decided on this frock.

Butt I didn’t expect the trouble to come from my BB (blogging buddy) JammieWearingFool. It seems JWF is dredging up the ole’ “preggers” rumor that Lady M has a bun in the oven. This happens when we have a slow news day, or a photograph embargo. If you haven’t been following the conspiracy theories, the “Preggers” are a subchapter of the “Birthers.” Sort of like the Weather Underground was a subchapter of the SDS.

Oh no! Triplets! 

Anyway, the Birthers question the country of Big Guy’s alleged birth, and the Preggers are constantly questioning the cause of MO’s expanding girth. A sub-subchapter, the “grapers,” question, among other things, whether or not Big Guy is the biological father of the alleged baby on board.

Ok, for the record,

• I am not Lady M’s gynecologist, (eeuuw!)
• My circuitry can not replace the rabbit and
• MO has not shared any “inside information” with me

So, everything that follows is, as always, just my humble opinion.

Lady M is not in a family way.  I know, I know, she’s been wearing a lot of maternity style clothing  lately, butt that’s just one of the fashion forward re-statements we’re testing this season.It’s a sacrifice icons must make.

And I suppose releasing the preliminary results of our experiments with the post-partum Belly Bandit® containment system raised a few eyebrows. Butt this too can be easily explained by a review of our snacking patterns - without having to question what the milk man was doing in the house.

So, I’m begging you all, pa-leeeze, at least while I’m on vacation, Can We Please Not Say “Preggers"? And if we must discuss the growing “bulge”, can we just talk about Burger Bumps?

You’ll be doing me a great personal favor. Thank you.

A Fluke and an Imposter

Well, I see that the “free” picture sites are up and running again. Our embargo orders have been thwarted by – you guessed it – the First Amendment. So, although we haven’t officially  lifted the embargo, those rogue interweb companies don’t respond to orders requests the way our MSM lapdogs do. And apparently we can’t avail ourselves of all the other legal remedies we had originally planned either.

Butt before I get into that, you’re really going to enjoy these candid shots from dinner last night:

Whoa! Is this not the best retro-chic you’ve ever seen? 1970’s tunic made of scraps from the 60’s, paired with those ever popular 80’s-stylin’ leggings:

Is this not the best use of fashion recycling you’ve ever seen?

And Big Guy was looking sharp too, in his Verizon guy jacket:

Butt back to our photography embargo order: It appears that several of our enforcement options are unavailable at this time. First, we found out that Ellie Kagan won’t technically be on the Team until the first Monday in October,so we can’t get the Supremes to rule the Constitution void with regards to First Amendment rights. And because we didn’t get that Net “Neutrality” thingy in place yet, we can’t just shut down the offending ISP’s. Likewise, because Congress isn’t in session this month, we also can’t just deem these photographs to be illegal. So it looks like we’re just going to have to rely on “Chicago-Style” a bit longer. We’ll have reinforcements flown in by this afternoon.

Meanwhile,we are trying to enjoy our vacay. As you can see, it’s not easy :

 Date Night at the State Road Restaurant. Are we having fun yet?

Between the bad enchiladas and the constant worry about all of our  plans that are pretty much on hold until we manage to stack the Supreme Court court:  full Obamacare implementation (public option), circumventing Congress with an Executive Order to deem Amnesty for our illegals in time for the mid-terms, and once and for all getting that Interweb Neutering Net Neutrality fix in.

But enough about the heavy lifting, we’re on vacation. You’ve probably been wondering what the O’s have for dinner when they dine out,so here’s the inside scoop on their menu selections from the State Road Restaurant:

Appetizers: for Mo, Braised Berkshire Pork Bellies (we skipped the Christian Farms egg that normally comes with: no point reopening the GZM/religion controversy), Steamed Cape Cod Mussels for Big Guy (he thought they might help him bulk up).

Entrees: Pan Roasted Day Boat Fluke for Lady M and Imposter Sausage (a house specialty) for Big Guy.

With a menu like that, they might want to consider widening the doorway.

Big Guy was happy to hear, when we got back to the compound, that John McCain won his primary last night. Although they were opponents in ‘08,  they really see eye to-eye on more than you might think. And we’re counting on his support for our Executive Amnesty Order.  He’s going to need all the votes he can get in Arizona come November.

Breaking News Update: Only MOTUS Has Pictures: Maybe It’s Just a Bad Enchilada.

DNN (Martha’s Vineyard, 08-24-10) This just in:

Reports are coming in from around the globe that major internet images sources (Daylife & Picapp) have been brought to their knees for their apparent flagrant violation of the Obama “image embargo.” Reports indicate that only MOTUS (the Mirror Of The United States) has images from last night’s dinner at The Sweet Life Cafe.

Spokesmouths for the popular online sources released a brief response:

“This is a clear violation of our 1st amendment rights. Did this Administration “deem” that we have no Constitutional rights?”

Stay tuned for more.

Oy Vey! I know it’s been raining cats and dogs, butt If this is the best public face you can put on, maybe you should just order in:

Slouching Towards Gomorrah

Big Guy seems to be channeling Harry Bellefonte, who’s about 100. Harry hates America too.

I’m concerned because my circuitry does impose limitations on my field of refractive telemetry. In other words, I can’t correctly refract both FLOTUS and POTUS simultaneously. Technically, Big Guy’s not my responsibility, but look at him: I can’t let him go out looking like that! Butt I may need to call for reinforcements. I understand I have a second cousin working somewhere in Hollywood. I’m putting an emergency request into NASA, asking them to track her down for backup in case Big Guy continues down this ghoulish road.

Honestly, I thought this weird picture from the day before we left for vacay was just a fluke – bad lighting, or maybe a bad enchilada for lunch:

 

Now I’m afraid I just don’t know what to think. And it doesn’t get any better. While Lady M looks good, Big Guy looks like he’s doing a hostage tape:

These pictures are from after our dinner at The Sweet Life with ValJar and Eric and Cheryl Whitaker. Maybe BO had enchiladas again. If it’s just indigestion, Dr. Whitaker who, unlike Dr. Jill Biden, is a real M.D, could probably prescribe some Tums. Or OxyCoytin, if indicated. Although Dr. Eric’s not really a practicing doctor either. He’s a long time friend of the O’s from Chicago (and Harvard) and is an executive at the same hospital where Lady M used to “work.” In fact, he took over Lady M’s role in the “urban health initiative,” aka  “patient dumping.” And now Big Guy has brought the concept to the whole country! See how that old “boys” network works?

Butt, Lady M looks much better today: rested, wrapped, stuffed, buffed and shined. And the martini’s didn’t hurt any either. Hey! Maybe that’s it! Maybe Big Guy had too many martinis before dinner. Although he usually only drinks when he smokes.

Big Guy’s planning to play golf again tomorrow. It’s really the only thing he enjoys doing any more. You can tell - he looks a lot happier when he’s whacking those little balls around.

  

Butt it’s supposed to rain again tomorrow. Pray for us.

On a brighter note: don’t you think Lady M’s dress would look smashing with a boob belt?