G-20 Leaders ask: “Who is that annoying little black man? And why won’t he go away?”
Well, Big Guy is winging his way back home – thankfully in the capable hands of the US Air Force, who know how to “wing it.” Unlike BO, who might have finally discovered the limits of his own ability to wing it.
The G-20 was actually dismissive of his demands, perhaps even derisive. Ditto South Korea. Ditto Russia.
All alone and feelin’ blue
Butt I get ahead of myself. Let’s have a quick recap of the results of the O’s Great Asian Tour:
In summary, it looks like our Seoul Train went off the rails: 10 days, four countries, zero trade agreements, zero agreement on trade imbalance, zero commitment from China to re-value the yuan, zero support from other G-20 leaders, zero nuclear agreements…
Butt the photo ops: PRICELESS!
Well, not quite priceless. $2 billion if you believe the right-wing hater blogs, $1.2 billion if you go with more conservative estimates.
First there was India:
Here, Lady M did her best to boost the Indian economy through a mini-stimulus program. Even though she ran out of money, she kept deficit shopping anyway! The haters will probably say this is a metaphor for Big Guy’s administration, but MO was just trying to pick up cheap Winter Holiday gifts. So don’t tell me we don’t know how to be frugal. Yet another sacrifice for our country.
Big Guy was more interested in the cultural riches of India, as he’s always been a huge fan of Gandhiji. We brushed up on our sitar skills,
and practiced our dance steps in case we need to revive our career with a gig on “Dancing With the Czars” later on.
Then we were on to Indonesia:
Here we saw the many faces of MO,
as well as a rare display of public disdain for the MOOslims. As a rule, MO doesn’t care how they treat their women folk, but let’s be clear: those rules do NOT apply to her.
I hope I haven’t offended anyone, but it’s a cultural thing. Rap, Hip Hop. You know, poetry of the oppressed.
MJ, Rihanna and Eminem practice their “art”
Then came South Korea, where the meaning of “dismissive, even derisive” came home to roost.
Hey guys! I’m just warning you. I’m packin’ - I can get George Soros on my Blackberry in a flash. If he’s takin’ my calls.
Look here, Lee. Her rear end is NOT that big, you’re just inflatin’ ASSets again.
Butt we put our best face forward since that’s all that we have left.
Thank goodness for iPods. BO could relax awhile and listen to his 2008 Berlin Speech and take full advantage of the deus ex machina voice reverberation system.
Then on to Japan: who could have imagined just 2 short years ago that we would have to remind them who we were?
Seriously, by the time we got to Japan, we were just a shadow of our former self.
My Shadow
by Robert Louis Stevenson
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.
He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!
One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an errant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
And that can’t be a good thing.
BO introduces his shadow at APEC, who will be reading a speech with TOTUS
Does this Shadow make my ears look big?
I am sooo not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner this year.
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