The Eagle has Landed: A Slippery Slope Ensues

A little Dead President’s Weekend surprise: We’re going skiing!

  (or snowboarding, in my case)

In Vail! and Beaver Creek! All the A-listers ski here.

Here we are arriving at Eagle County Airport last night (As confirmed by the Gateway Pundit):

 Air Force Won 2 lands at Eagle

And here’s where we’re staying:

The Sebastian: “Vail’s newest boutique hotel.” It’s really swanky – I’ve even got my own little closet!

We don’t have any public events planned while we’re in Vail, so I’ll have to rely on sneaky shots from my 2-way mirror-cam, and locals with their iPhones.

And since it was really too dark for good shots of our 12 car, 15 local gendarmes consort on the way from the airport to our luxury hotel, I’ll take this opportunity to respond to a special request from yesterday’s “MOTUS Gets Requests” mailbag: Mrs. P begged for a weekend replay from last summer’s Martha’s Vineyard vacay. So here you are - a special from MOTUS’ Requisition Redux file: Lady M’s tennis entourage…

…featuring a cameo of moi:

That’s a screenshot of me in the back seat with my Prince racket. (A little bit of trivia: Prince was the first racket with an oversized head – just like Big Guy!)

Wisconsin Volley: Budgeting to the Baseline

Well, we’ve rounded up the usual subjects and bussed them into Wisconsin: 

Actually, this is just a drill to see how well the system will work in case we’re forced to hold the normally scheduled 2012 elections. So far so good.

It’s too bad we haven’t pulled our civilian national police force together yet. No, silly, not to control the protestors  - to join them. After all, Big Guy has already weighed-in on the situation. He said the R-words were acting stupidly:

"Some of what I've heard coming out of Wisconsin, where you're just making it harder for public employees to collectively bargain generally seems like more of an assault on unions. And I think it's very important for us to understand that public employees, they're our neighbors, they're our friends. These are folks who are teachers and they're firefighters and they're social workers and they're police officers.

"They make a lot of sacrifices and make a big contribution. And I think it's important not to vilify them or to suggest that somehow all these budget problems are due to public employees."

That’s right! Not all of the budget problems are due to public employees. After all, only 1% of the state’s population are public employees. Oh sure, they account for 60% of Wisconsin’s budget. Wow! Just think of how much of the state’s total economy they must be propping up. How can they afford not to give them what they want?

Reports from the field reveal that “thousands of teachers played hooky in Wisconsin to protest against the end to collective bargaining next month. Their unexcused absences shut down schools across the state.”  And right there, you see the power of public unions. Clearly they can’t be ignored. Next thing you know, you’ve got ourselves another Greek situation. And I’m not talking Delta Tau Chi,

butt the government shutdown:

Butt on an equally important front, I know everyone’s been wondering “What’s Lady M been up to lately?” Well, yesterday she made a commercial PSA at Georgetown University for the U.S. Tennis Association and her No Child’s Fat Behind program.

Why the USTA you ask?  Because she’s a really big fan. Although I’ve never actually seen her play tennis (velocity of a tennis ball + high tech glass surface + internal electronics = budget deficit).

 Off to our tennis date last summer on the Rock

I think we’ve got something planned with the NFL at Disney World later this year, too.

I’m not sure about the NFL, butt I’m hoping for a cameo in the USTA PSA:

The Booby Police are Uncovered

Hey MOLs, MODs, MYLs and MYDs! Our Granny Jan has been discovered! By Gerard! and Don Surber!

Way to go Granny - shake your boobies!

Little Egypt: Slip Slidin’ Away

Lady M is still busy going through all the seed catalogues in advance of the planting season, so I’ll take this opportunity to update you a bit on the Middle East situation.

First, we can all relax because former President Jimmy Carter said we have nothing to worry about:

"I think the Muslim Brotherhood is not anything to be afraid of in the upcoming (Egyptian) political situation and the evolution I see as most likely," Carter said. "They will be subsumed in the overwhelming demonstration of desire for freedom and true democracy."

And after all, he did nail it on Iran.

Secondly, if you were worried that Big Guy hadn’t been keeping his finger on the pulse of the Middle East, the New York Times today has explained that he ordered his advisers last summer to produce a secret report:

 President Obama ordered his advisers last August to produce a secret report on unrest in the Arab world, which concluded that without sweeping political changes, countries from Bahrain to Yemen were ripe for popular revolt, administration officials said Wednesday.

Apparently neither CIA Director Leon Panetta nor National Intelligence Director James Clapper got a copy of the memo (although they did know as much as we did). I wonder if rebuilding those Chinese firewalls that we tore down after 9/11were part of our “shovel ready” stimulus program?

From a Senate hearing yesterday:

“Frankly, Tunisia was probably not up there in our top 10 countries we were watching closely,” Clapper said. “So there is the aspect of the spread, the balance of our collection priorities. Obviously, we’re going to work on that. ... We’re going to pay a lot more attention to social media and what we can do to extract warning.”

Butt rest assured, Big Guy was on top of the situation:

“There’s no question Egypt was very much on the mind of the president”

 

So I hope you feel better now. It’s apparent that we’ve got everything under control.

So finally – and since it is still technically New York Fashion Week  – I found this little video of a runway show, posted by BigFurHat, for you. The young lady is not just modeling the designer’s “I Dream of Genie” homage to the Arab world. Butt she also demonstrates, inadvertently, Big Guy’s Middle East policy. Warning: video depicts the graphic result of the danger involved in depending on platforms that don’t fit properly.

h/t IOTW

Help Save TOTUS, the Voice of America

Well, we finally found something on the Hill that engenders bipartisanship: Big Guy’s Budget. Yep. Everybody is trashing it.

It’s going to be a brutal session. They’re even threatening to defund TOTUS! No, I kid you not. Defund TOTUS.These R-words really are un-American.

Before Obama met the press, a first-term Republican congressman, Steve Womack, had prepared an amendment to a spending bill that would have denied federal funds for Obama’s use of a teleprompter. Republicans mock Obama, considered a gifted orator, as being over-reliant on the teleprompter when he speaks.

I suppose you call this, “overly reliant”

As Big Guy explained at the time, he was kind of tired. He hadn’t had much sleep over the last 48 hours - because he had just visited 57 of the 60 states.

Or maybe you consider this evidence of “overly dependent:”

or this,

Butt even TOTUS can’t handle everything. Such as ignorance of basic military terminology:

And consider this: if Doug Powers is correct, and defunding TOTUS is tantamount to defunding the presidency, we’re going to be left with our wing man, the second most eloquent man ever born:

Here you’ll see where our very own “Stand Up Chuck” got her name.

So I think you see why we need to get this R-word Womack’s budget amendment deep sixed pronto. After all, if they’re willing to defund TOTUS, what’s next? The Mirror of the United States?

I really don’t want to go back to the Smithsonian, and believe me, you don’t want me to either:

The powers of trans-imaging on display

Butt it’s not about me. This is really about the future of America. Because remember: “There is no POTUS without TOTUS.”

How Not to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Lady M is still resting up today from last night’s ‘no big deal’ romantic Valentine’s day celebration. The dinner was to die for: I swear I’ve never seen  lobsters that big! (Big Guy’s little people arranged for him to get Lady M flowers, Godivas in a heart shaped box and another diamond bracelet – because you can never go wrong with jewelry).

So while Lady M is getting ready for the Medal of Freedom presentation this afternoon (Maya Angelou is coming!), I thought I’d share the Valentine’s day episode of the WTF Theatre, (brought to you by GE: Imagination at Work) in which we see how Valentine’s Day is a vital component in our Win the Future pogrom.

We join Cody and Skye in their Seattle condo last night:

 

 

The original GE Theater

 

This special episode is cross-posted on Dewey From Detroit

Lady M’s Fashion Week Heads-Up

I’m sure you all know that New York Fashion week started last Friday.  And if you don’t think that the designers follow Lady M’s every move as inspiration for their own work, check this out:

Prabal Gurung gown from Fashion Week ‘11, Lady M with Woo Hu

And that, my friend, is how you define fashion forward. Every look that MO sports is quickly mainstreamed by an adoring public. And we’ve covered a great many of those trends right here on my little blog: mini-me cardis, shoes, pins, bangles, bracelets, Spanx, frocks and, our signature fashion forward statement, the boob belt.

Butt so far, we’ve never covered head gear. That’s because Lady M is not, as a rule, a huge fan of wearing hats that don’t start and end with “wig.” She rarely dons anything else atop her noggin and when she does, it usually has disastrous results. Take, for example, that unfortunate headscarf we donned in Indonesia out of respect for the local religious customs.

How were we supposed to know that MO was allergic to the fabric and that it would cause an uncomfortable itch in an unfortunate place, resulting in this internationally famous scratch:

You’d think that would be the end of the discussion of hats, wouldn’t you? Butt you’d be wrong.

When I saw this collection of cutting edge bonnets at American Digest yesterday, I knew we had hit fashion gold. These creative adornments, just now hitting the Egyptian runway, emerged organically from local artisans as a direct result of Big Guy giving Mubarak the boot and freeing the Egyptians.

Last night I pulled together a quick stylin’ session with Lady M and Ikram. We worked into the wee hours experimenting with these stylish and oh-so au currant chapeaus. We didn’t bother with the ice queen look in the lower right because we have so done that motif before, and it just won’t turn any heads in the American market.

I hope you enjoy our efforts. Here are my final headshots:

Lady M’s 2011 Social Network Revolutionary Headgear Line: International Edition

First, a casual little number for everyday named in honor of Lady M’s favorite pole dancing song by the Commodores, “She’s a Brick House”:

And I mean that in the best possible way. Great for handling all the day-to-day incoming flak.

Next, the very affordable, and organic, “Boxy Lady”:

Can also be used in a pinch to harvest all those organic shoots that keep sprouting up in your backyard garden.

Next, my personal favorite, perfect for those days when you just can’t pack a proper snack bag, the Baggett Beret:

This headgear serves a dual role: not only will it ward off a mid-morning drop in blood sugar, but it also has built in noise-cancelling headphones that muffles all those high pitched whiny noises. I really need one of these myself.

Here’s another smart number from our multi-tasker brain-bucket line. I call this one the "Double Dooty” aka the Loaf Pan:

Never again will you have to carry a handful of plastic bags when you take man’s best friend out for his “daily constitutional.” With the Loaf Pan, you’re noggin will be shielded from the sun’s rays and any rogue radio frequencies. And when Rover stops to do his business you just slip it off and it immediately transforms from sun bonnet to organic waste composter. I’m getting one of these for myself...for the radio frequency protection, not the...you know.

As noted above, one of the most important reasons for wearing a snappy lid is to keep the damaging rays of the sun off your dome. Our next number does that better than anything else on the market today. I proudly present the Solar Portabella:

You tell me that this wouldn’t come in handy at the beach, or on those summer strolls through the Kasbah.

We didn’t forget the boys either. Here’s what the unimaginative designers at Fashion Week are offering up for men’s head gear (although the clothes are nice):

Our sole entry in the gentlemen’s toque category was specifically designed to address one of our most pressing national security concerns: keeping Big Guy’s head above water. I call it:

the Jug Head:

Guaranteed to keep you afloat in a sea of flotsam and jetsam, this is an exclusive, one-of-a-kind brain bucket. Not available in stores (at least not without some assembly required).

And that’s it: our 2011 Mad Hatter collection. All models, except the presidential model mentioned above, will be available exclusively at the MOTUS Boutique.

h/t American Digest and Weasel Zippers

Obamanomics: Lady M Style Edition

"The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics."
— Thomas Sowell

Because we all need to do our part to help reduce the federal deficit, today I’m presenting a “learning moment” on economics, brought to you by Lady M.

Let’s start with the basics:  economics is the study of the production, distribution and consumption of goods and services.

Take corn kernels for example. Just sitting around in a feed store they’re not much use to you if you just want a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Someone has to plant, grow, harvest, mill, transport, process, box, deliver and sell the Frosted Flakes. That’s what’s called “value added” and it fuels the economy. OK? “Adding value”  requires people to do “ a whole bunch of stuff”  which in turn creates jobs.

Lady M, in addition to being a World Class Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™   is also a world class economist. She totally gets “value added” and how it can stimulate the economy. Observe and marvel at Lady M’s economic savvy. You’ll see why Big Guy can’t wait to get her out on the campaign trail:

First we take one cheap dress made by Swedish company S&H (think of it as the Ikea of the clothing world) that retails in the USA for $34.95:

  Cheap H&M dress

• Hire a stylist to track it down from an infinite number of cheap frocks that might be able to be described as “populist,”
• hire a political consultant to determine it’s favorability with the target market (American women who might be coaxed into voting in the next presidential election), who then
• hires a marketing company to conduct focus groups on the frock’s favorability ratings.
• Hire a couture house to modify the design so it doesn’t completely look like a 20-something’s clubbing dress: make it a tad longer- butt not too long, we don’t want to look matronly! Ad sleeves (as recommended by the political consultant’s focus groups) and expansion joints,
• hire a seamstress to cut and assemble the newly designed dress,
• hire a tailor to custom fit the seamstress’ work.
• Have a Stylist’s assistant source a more First Lady-like designer belt in rich Corinthian leather (also recommended by the focus groups – talk about added value!) and an appropriate pair of shoes in a color that will really “pop” the entire ensemble.

And voilà! We’ve got ourselves a winner.

“Everybody's got to get dressed in the morning and put on something. I hope people find it nice, but it's not something I focus on." (that’s what our little people are for.)

We have taken a simple, cheap $34.95 dress and transformed it into a fashion icon now worth at least $234,000 – and in the process we’ve created or saved at least 150 jobs!

And that, my friends, is how Obamanomics works.

 

 “Adding value” everywhere we can!