Which side of the fence are we on?

Welcome Mommy Life Blogsters!

So far the photo ops from our South American trip have been worth every cent we paid:

From the fancy footwork demonstrated with a soccer ball

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To the warm welcome everywhere Big Guy goes:

Well, OK, It wasn’t exactly another Brandenburg Gate moment, butt you must admit, it’s still impressive:

Huge crowds, one deep, line up to see Obama. The crowd is nearly double the size of the military guards standing by.

Nearly

Security was evident everywhere we went.

  Beach surveillance

Butt the optics I’m having trouble with are the the ones that keep giving me flashbacks of an old movie loaded on my hard drive. Is it just me, or did Big Guy’s and Lady M’s trip through the slums of Rio remind anyone else of Tennessee Williams’ creepy Suddenly Last Summer?   If you’re unfamiliar, I’ll try to do a tasteful recap of this 1959 Elizabeth Taylor, Montgomery Clift, Katherine Hepburn movie – to the degree “tasteful” can be applied to this twisted tale.

Violet’s (Hepburn) beautiful poet son, Sebastian, with whom she is abnormally obsessed (think Oedipus), dies while vacationing on an island with his equally beautiful cousin, Catherine (Taylor). We join them in New Orleans after the mysterious death, as Violet tries to have her niece lobotomized because of all the creepy things she says about her Aunt and cousin. Clift plays the shrink to Catherine’s traumatized, possibly nymphomaniac, character.

In truth, Catherine’s  homosexual cousin used her (and his own mother before her) as bait to attract horny, poor, potential rent-boys who hang out on the other side of a fence separating the rich, private beach resort from the squalor of the slums. I won’t spoil the ending for you, other than to mention that it involves cannibalism.

Not that our trip to Rio has anything to do with that movie, butt just take a look at the optics, and see if you don’t think I have a point.

First, the beach barbarians at the gate, anxious to see, touch, revel in the object of their desire.

Sebastian and Catherine, on the other side of the fence

Residents of the City of God favela in Rio de Janeiro await the arrival of Big Guy

 

Then there is the issue of the sun dress Elizabeth Taylor wore in the film;

 

which looks a lot like Lady M’s own sundress:

And then there is Catherine’s habit of spreading her digits while wearing beach appropriate wrist bangles:

  

 you see where we’re going here?

…and of course, there is that whole eyebrow thing that Lady M’s got working:

 

I guess I’m just experiencing some jet-lag short circuiting, I see now how silly this is. After all, Big Guy and Lady M departed from Rio this morning,in tact and gaily dressed:

while we know that Sebastian’s fate wasn’t quite as rosy:

 

So, despite his liberal dems being up in arms (so to speak), over Obama’s approval of air strikes in Libya, I don’t believe that Big Guy’s demise is at hand. Indeed, he seems to be blessed, somehow.

Go in peace, little man.

Linked By: Claire @ Sondrakistan.com Thanks Claire!

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I probably won’t fly down to Rio…

Butt, then again. I just might.

A Little Traveling Music Please - Michael Nesmith: Rio

Welcome Mommy Life Blogsters!

If I do, I’ll have to have another frock to wear. Something reminiscent of Carnivale. Something with beads and sparkles, sequins and pearls perhaps?

Only tasteful, of course.

Lady M has done her best to represent America’s best side: butt I must say, the Brazilians have been very ungracious. So far, they’ve cancelled Big Guy’s street fair in Rio, moving it inside instead, and they also cancelled his joint presser with President Dilma Vana Rousseff. Not that Big Guy likes to answer questions, butt he dislikes being dissed even more. WTF? How is this going to look to our Win The Future campaign?

And speaking of getting dissed: Wow! Did you see this?  The bros are growing restless on the home front too. Finally, after 31 days, we stop dithering on Libya only to take it on the chin from America’s own Muslim Brotherhood leader, Louis Farrakhan. Who you might have thought would be saying “thank you” to Big Guy. Instead, we get this:

FARRAKHAN: "I warn my brother do you let these wicked demons move you in a direction that will absolutely ruin your future with your people in Africa and throughout the world...Why don't you organize a group of respected Americans and ask for a meeting with Qaddafi, you can't order him to step down and get out, who the hell do you think you are? (Labwriter has video)

Which just goes to show: money is more powerful than ideology. (here, here and here. Strangely, many of the related stories have been “404ed” from Google).

And that’s not all; Michael Moore is torqued off too. Man, if you’ve lost Michael Moore, you’ve lost, what? 400 - 500 pounds?

Meanwhile, other more credible critics continue to criticize BO’s fatuousness, and Brazil’s role in the great Iranian uranium caper:

They've watched President Obama's humiliating attempts to appease Iran, as every rejected overture is met with abjectly renewed U.S. negotiating offers. American acquiescence reached such a point that the President was late, hesitant and flaccid in expressing even rhetorical support for democracy demonstrators who were being brutally suppressed and whose call for regime change offered the potential for the most significant U.S. strategic advance in the region in 30 years.

 

Damn! Those Brazilians have some impressive soldier boys!

Butt never mind all that, Lady M had a very full schedule yesterday: a full 4 costume change day (4 1/2, if you count the one sleeve silver streak after losin’ the jacket).

Arrival frock

Our horizontal pleat platinum number with jacket…

and without:

 

At a cultural performance of the capoeira, traditional Brazilian martial art converted into dance. Lady M was not asked to participate this time.

here we are, all having a good time

Our gaily colored Rio arrival frock, with special shoes.

Comfy footwear, coordinated in color, if not style, with our a’maize and blue dress  ensemble.

Any one want to bet the shoes are Maison Martin Margielas? One of our faves.

 

 

 

Arriving at the Palacio do Alvorada in our beaded, plaster relief dress:

Does this armor plated limo make my butt look small?

You can really see Koopie’s influence on Lady M’s wardrobe on this trip. Matchy shoes for one thing:

Palacio do Alvorada in Brasilia outfit, with matching shoes, although green would have been nice too.

 How many toes?

Meanwhile, back on the homefront: the R-words, of course, are yelling “WTF! Where’s Obama? The world’s in crisis and he goes on a Latin America trade mission; a boondoggle usually reserved for deserving members of Congress?”

And the progs are saying “Crisis? What crisis? Japan has a crisis. Libya has a crisis. the United States has no crisis requiring an interruption of Big Guy’s vacation trade mission.”

The progs, of course, are correct; we have no crisis domestically. Unless you consider escalating unemployment, cost of living leaping to an all time high, a federal deficit large enough to make Atlas shrug and a Congress unable to approve a budget to keep the country open for business, to constitute a crisis.

Linked By: Mommy Life, Thanks Barbara!

The Perigee Has Landed

Yes, it’s true: Big Guy and Lady M, en familia arrived in Brazil coincident with the the largest full moon of the year.

A perigee moon is large enough to influence tidal events

I believe the trip was specifically coordinated by State and Organizing for America to coincide with this event, but I’m unclear on the message this symbolism is  intended to send. Although I’m pretty sure that it had nothing to do with Lady M’s butt.

We did arrange for some supportive headlines/stories in advance of our departure:

Obama has Brazil swooning over arrival of a black president

“In Brazil, we have all kinds of culture, people, and our inner identity comes from black people,” said Melo, 47, a drug abuse counselor in City of God, a favela made famous by the Brazilian film of the same name. “That’s why I think Obama is important for the world, because a poor guy suddenly becomes the most important man in the world.”

Butt unfortunately not everyone in Rio reads the Washington Post. They were busy making their own headlines: Anti-Obama protest turns violent.

No, not Libya, Rio

Butt don’t worry, it was just a few racist Brazilians acting stupidly by throwing Molotov cocktails at the U.S. consulate in  protest of the imminent visit of Big Guy.

Racists demonstrating in Rio

Not that these anti-Obama sentiments had anything to do with it, butt our SS decided to move Big Guy’s big speech from the historic Cinelandia Plaza where we expected a half million worshipers, to a slightly smaller venue, the Municipal Theatre, where we will be able to seat 2000 fortunate, hand selected fans.

Apparently Brazil’s unions did not receive the memo from Richard Trumka, confirming BO’s union creds. We may have to provide a bona fide long form membership certificate.

Anyway, we got off on a good foot last night, everyone looking excited and happy to be off on spring break:

 

…and arrived this morning in Brasília, looking equally happy.

 

Of course this isn’t just a fun trip to South America. (Although we did get our favorite Air Force Won pilot to do a fly-by of the giant Jesus statue for us. Fly-bys have been sort of unofficially kiboshed since that unfortunate little flap over the Statue of Liberty. We didn’t think anyone would notice down here though.)

Anyway, this is “officially” a trade mission, as Big Guy told everyone in his pre-recorded Saturday radio address this morning:

"As we respond to these immediate crises abroad, we also will not let up in our efforts to tackle the pressing, ongoing challenges facing our country, including accelerating economic growth. That's why, over the weekend, I'll be in Latin America. One of the main reasons for my trip is to strengthen economic partnerships abroad so that we create good jobs at home,"

So, got that? We’re here to figure out how to tap into Brazil’s new found growth spurt. And oil. And to see if they will loan us Brazillions of dollars so we can continue to keep HOPE and CHANGE alive here at home.

St. Patrick’s Day: “Present” and Engaged

 The Wons with Ireland’s Prime Minister and his Mrs.

Last night we joined in the annual  “wearin’  ‘o the green” and partied down in the Big White with the leaders of the free leprechauns, Enda and Fionnuala Kenny.

When Irish (little) eyes are smiling

Does this Irish shamrock make my butt look small?

Where ever did you find that Keebler elves tree pin?

OK. Any more questions about why the Wons have spent the last 2 St. Patrick’s days partying with the Irish? Good. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.

For example: everyone is starting to notice our MIA President. Last night Newtie, with the audacity of a dope, called Big Guy a “spectator-in-chief” who is presiding over “maybe the most passive and out-of-touch presidency in modern American history.”

That’s harsh.Somewhat true, but harsh.  Let’s review Big Guy’s position on recent situations that - in the past - would have been considered crises worthy of the attention of the U.S. President: 

The roll-call vote: I report, you decide

Egypt: “present,” eventually

Libya: “present” (sort of)

Bahrain: “present,” disengaged

Japan Earthquake: “present,” disengaged

Japan Tsunami: “present,” disengaged

Japan Nuclear disaster: MIA

Budget: MIA, but gave his proxy to Joey B, who promptly left for Russia

Unemployment: “present,” disengaged

Inflation: “present,” disengaged

Energy policy: “present,” spouting politically expedient lies

Golf: fully engaged

Parties: (Motown Review, Gridiron Club, etc.)thoroughly engaged

Fundraisers: hyper engaged  

Not, as the Washington Times helpfully points out, to imply that Big Guy hasn’t been busy:

None of this is meant to suggest Mr. Obama hasn’t been productive. He laughed it up at the Gridiron Club dinner, took a stand against schoolyard bullying and spoke on the radio about Women’s History Month. Over the weekend, he played his 61st round of golf as president and finalized his March Madness bracket picks, predictably avoiding controversy by choosing the four top seeds for the Final Four. On Monday, he attended a gathering of potential big-money donors at the St. Regis hotel that Democratic Party officials insisted was not a fundraiser. Sure, it was not a fundraiser; and the White House isn’t coming across as disconnected, weak, passive and paralyzed either.

Butt let’s be fair: Big Guy worked really,really hard to cram pass ObamaCare last year. He feels like he’s earned a little time off without being criticized by everybody from Hill to Jake Tapper.

Back when we were Community Organizing in Chief it was work, work, work to get out the vote, butt once you delivered your quotas you could take the 2 years off in between elections. This new reality is difficult to adjust to, and, frankly, so unfair.

Big Guy didn’t think anyone would notice his sabbatical as long as Lady M kept the press busy following her around as she made really important contributions to a “whole bunch of stuff” ranging from her victory garden to ending childhood obesity in one generation.

Anyway, we’re busy with damage control now, since Fox news is making such a big deal over Big Guy’s lack of leadership. No one will be able to accuse him of being MIA this weekend. He’ll be in Rio, baby! And you can take that to the bank.

EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE FROM LAST NIGHT’S ST. PADDY’S DAY PARTY: LADY M AND THE SASSY LASSIES (VAL-JAR, OPRAH, FANCY NANCY AND HIL) PERFORMING LIVE. NOT TO BE MISSED.

Beets? WTF.

Happy St. Patrick’s day! And top ‘o the mornin’ to you. We’re excited about the party we’re planning for the Irish Prime Minister tonight. Normally we don’t celebrate holidays honoring Catholic saints (other than St. Teddy Kennedy that is) butt because this feast day is “green” it  fits our re-election template perfectly.

And speaking of green: yes. Yesterday was the day we’ve all been waiting for: Lady M’s third historic planting of the Big White organic garden of good (blueberries) and evil (beets and broccoli.)

"Uh oh, the president doesn't like beets. But it's okay, we're an equal opportunity garden."

And then we moved on to the “c’s” cabbage, cauliflower, collards and chard. Planting everything from “a” (arugula, Big Guy’s favorite) to “z” zucchini ( good in chocolate zucchini bread, Lady M’s fave), this was not just a lesson in healthy eating and urban farming, butt a special tutorial in spelling. The kids who came to help with the planting got extra credit in English class, or, as the case may be, “English as a second language,” class.

Squatting while doing our plotting

We didn’t miss a “beet” in our on-going healthy eating campaign:

Obama encouraged the kids who helped her plant the fruits and veggies to urge their parents and grandparents to serve them at the dinner table.

Cuz without Lady M’s reminder, you know, nobody’s parent or grandparent would ever think of serving fruits and vegetables to kids.

The seedlings all arrived in little pots from a secret stash of heirloom seeds which are direct descendents of Thomas Jefferson’s original diversified garden patch at Monticello.

“The veggies were sprouted in the White House greenhouse in an "undisclosed location,"

Actually, the “undisclosed location” is the same place we grow Big Guy’s weed, butt you did not hear that from me. Nor can I disclose it’s location, butt little Mo wandered into it once by mistake and we didn’t hear from him for days. Don’t worry, he’s fine now.

Lettuce. Right.

Anyway, we spent about 15 minutes posing with the kids (who didn’t seem to have fat behinds) and plants. 

Lady M has grown so enamored of her organic garden spot (“It's been one of the greatest things I’ve done in my life so far.")  that she’s decided to write a whole book about it! Cuz plunking little plants in the ground is just so special. And hard to do without proper instruction.

Mrs Obama said: "We've gotten food out of the garden, and we can eat it and it's good.”

"So we wanted to share the story with the rest of the nation and perhaps with the rest of the world, because we get so many questions about the garden: How did we do it? Why did we do it? How do I do this in my own home or community?"

Because of Lady M’s heavy schedule, she’ll be using a ghost writer to help with the actual writing of the book. Same goes for the organic garden: we’ve hired ghost workers to do all the heavy lifting. I think that means the workers are undocumented voters forced to “live in the shadows.” Although they’re usually right out in the mid-day sun, so it’s possible I’m confused on that.

Now that we have the veggies tucked in for the growth season, we just have to wait till it gets a little warmer to plant our annual butterfly garden. Something went awry last year and our crop failed to thrive – an occupational hazard around here – so we didn’t have a harvest of butterflies for last year’s Halloween party like we did the year before. We suspected Monarch sabotage, and will be guarding against it this year.

Strangely,at this year’s spring planting we skipped the Gaia worship that we held during last years “Getting Back to our Roots” spring  ceremony. I guess Chef Kass’ rhubarb dance was a little over the top and didn’t test so well in our post-planting polling. So this year we just saluted our garden queen and let it go at that.

 Dressed for spring showers in our rain jacket and rain hair: both made of Gortex to shed water

I know you’re also interested in all of the critical events occurring on the international disaster front. At the risk of sounding cynical, it’s actually been beneficial to have all the natural and man-mad disasters stealing eyeballs this week. Otherwise people might focus on the the fact that inflation (quantitative easing) has fired up to Jimmy Carter levels and the housing market registered the steepest decline since 1984. Only in Washington could this be read as a postitve part of the WTF campaign.