Bottoms Up, Bottoms Out. WTF. In Ireland UPDATE: Beefeaters, all around

“Obama Leaving Early to Stay Ahead of the Ashes” Boy, how many times have I heard that before?

Butt Wow! Yesterday was an exciting day across the pond. For the first time in his adult life, Big Guy was proud to be an Irishman.

And while he has tasted the national Irish brewski before, he’s never savored it like he did yesterday.

As did Lady M, who -  I know you’ll never believe this – had never even sipped a black beer before.

Then, I know you’ve all seen that embarrassing little snafu with our lead bottomed limo at our very own embassy in Dublin:

Man, every time I hear that metallic “clunk” it sends shivers through my frame again. As you can imagine, it was terrifying. The Secret Service guys were mortified that we were all sitting ducks because of the big black heavy bottomed Caddy getting hung up on a little speed bump. The incident is still under investigation, butt it looks like somebody – and I’m not at liberty to say who - had a little too much Guinness. And/or corned beef. 

The rest of the day went fine.

The adoring crowds reminded the Wons of the old Grant Park days, only smaller

 

We decided red would be a good color for Ireland. *sigh* Well, at least it wasn’t orange.

The luck of the Irish parted the clouds and stopped the rain, butt it was still windy and cool so Lady M had to borrow a raincoat from the pub in order to stay warm.

Unfortunately raincoat management was not offered at Princeton:

or Harvard Law:

I’m thinking next time I’ll tell her it’s a “boob belt.”  That should make the concept clearer.

Then we had the meet and greet with the crowd, where the Wons hugged the adorable little red headed girl, who would have been a minority anywhere other than in Ireland.

Then, since we had to leave early, we had to find a place to change into our planned “departure” outfit…

in order to change into her “arrival” outfit in England:

So now we’re in Jolly Old England, where Scotland Yard has found it amusing to tag Big Guy with the code name 'Chalaque' – a Punjabi term which translates roughly to “Smart Arse.” Big Guy thinks they’re saying “Chilaquiles,” one of Lady M’s favorite dishes.

So don’t tell me the Brits are humorless! This is going to be a fun visit with the Queen.

No, honest! These are the real Wons! Not wax.

UPDATE: Because optics are everything

BO and Wills and Kate and MO: Awkward!

…and our Marilyn moment:

The Beefeaters

O’bamas Land to Put Moneygall on the Map UPDATED: Grinch spotted in Moneygall too

I’ve got a very busy morning, as you might imagine, butt just wanted to get this out to you from the olde sod.

As you can see, we did much better coming:

 

then we did going:

Petulant,

butt breezy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although the arrival was not without it’s WTF moments:

Lady M gets Trumped

So far we’ve met with what passes for a President here: a pasty white woman by the name of Mary McAleese. She seemed really nice though, and offered everyone a Guinness (a dark brew, fyi).

Then we went to plant a tree  50 feet from the sequoia that JFK planted in 1963. I didn’t get a good look at the tree Big Guy planted butt it looked like it may have been a dwarf fig tree. Either that or an apple.

And since the Irish are always so thoughtful,  the Irish President found the only child of color in all of Ireland to come to the tree planting so Lady M would have a child to hug.

Before I have to run, here’s an update from yesterday’s AIPAC meeting. Good news, the tattoo on Big Guy’s face turned out to be temporary,

it was not a gang symbol,

and had disappeared completely by the time he and Lady M left to visit one of his homelands.

UPDATE: Sara B thought she also spotted the Grinch in Moneygall:

and now, due to Sara B’s sleuthing, Jim Carey is demanding his hair back and threatening to sue for infringement of intellectual property.

Also filing suit under the same statute butt in separate proceedings, Cindy Lou has served papers on Princess Beatrice for copyright infringement.

I’m not sure, and certainly not looking to make trouble, but I think perhaps Jim Carey could add Princess Eugenie to the hair suit.

Linked By: Adrienne’s Corner and The Radio Patriot and Sad Hill News Thanks!

Apocalypse Mao and Frau

That yesterday was not the Rapture – the day the chosen ascend to glory – came as no surprise to anyone around here. As is commonly acknowledged, that occurred on January 20, 2009.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet your American Idols!!!

Of course, some still clinging to their guns and religion contend that inaugural WAS the beginning of the Apocalypse. Butt as you know, they were just showing their antipathy.

Knowing that it wasn’t going to be the End of Days, Big Guy marked the day by going about his usual business, golfing. And look! We’re dressed like a grownup today: long pants and a Blackberry!

Butt not before reading the weekly Saturday Radio Address, this one his 371st on education, one of Washington’s favorite money pits. This time our topic was why the “No Child Left Behind” (companion program to Lady M’s “No Child’s Fat Behind”) program needs more money:

We need to reward the reforms that are driven not by Washington, but by principals and teachers and parents.  That’s how we’ll make progress in education – not from the top down, but from the bottom up.  And that’s the guiding principle of the Race to the Top competition my administration started two years ago.

The idea is simple: if states show that they’re serious about reform, we’ll show them the money.

And that’s what we call “Washington logic.” Because by Big Guy’s own admission, the Booker T Washington school he was talking about yesterday managed the remarkable transformation by surprisingly non-monetary based reforms, they “created a culture that prizes hard work and discipline,” 

So now we know: if something isn’t working we need to throw more money at it, and if something is working we also need to throw more money at it. Especially if there are  special interests groups cheering you on with huge donations and voting blocks. BTW, in case you are wondering how states can show us they’re serious about reform: it translates to how much they demonstrate their ability to help us Win The Future. WTF.

Oh, and one last word on Lady M’s triumphant address at the West Point graduation banquet on Friday night:

Everyone agreed that talking to young cadets about her work to spotlight the “plight” of military families was a nice note for such a joyous occasion marking the end of 4 years of difficult education and training for our future military leaders.

And just as our troops need your leadership and support, their families do as well, because they sacrifice and serve this nation right alongside anyone who wears our uniform.

…And because only one percent of our country serves in the Armed Forces, a lot of Americans simply don’t know many – or any – military families. They aren’t familiar with the resilience it takes to get through a long deployment. They don’t know the courage it takes simply to turn on the evening news. They don’t fully realize the strength you need to move your family for the fourth or fifth or sixth time in a decade.

Oh dear, I wonder if she got her speech mixed up with the empathetic one she gives when she goes out with Dr. Jill to hand out onesies to military wives? She even wore the same sweater she wore to the baby shower.

One thing about Lady M, when she finds a theme she’s comfortable with, she likes to stick to it.

Two sure-fired winners: RED

This is the original appearance of the West Point Red, tarted up for the Glam holiday fashion cover.

And of course our other go-to comfort zone look, the boob belt, now in the new 2011 metal band silhouette:

We’re in good hands now, comrades.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal Thanks!

I Hope that Whiff of Manure is Coming From the Organic Garden

 

I’m not kidding little man: don’t point that thing at me again unless you mean it.

Well, I’ll give this to JJ: as far as Big White shills go, he is genuinely the most plausibly clueless mouthpiece we’ve ever sent out there.

I think the handlers determined that the best way for JJ to appear believable was to give him the mushroom treatment, and it seems to be working. Day after day he goes in front of the talking heads to explain that 2+2=5, down is up and white is black – or vice versa, just like a starry-eyed rookie corporate spokesmouth. And while I think the little guy is cute as a puppy, he just doesn’t have the mental acuity to parse words as believably as a James Carville, Paul Begala or even an unpolished old Gibbsy. That’s why it’s best that he know nothing: so he can lie with sincerity.

Case in point: after Bibi said “no thanks” to Big Guy’s thoughtful suggestion of just returning to pre-1967 borders as a peace talk starter, Jay-Jay attempted to clarify the situation for the Forth Estate:

Well done, Portabello.

There was also a ton of more important news yesterday including the Wons parent-teacher conference:

Off to Sidwell, again, in our Hawaiian skirt, again: do we know how to do “recession” or what?

Then for an attempted trompe l'oeil on our Mideast policy statement Big Guy ran over to the CIA after the Netanyahu optics (which weren’t all that attractive, in retrospect).

Forget it: MO’s patented stare didn’t turn Carla to stone, and BO’s will not bore a hole through Bibi, who is rock solid.

…in order to take give credit where it was due for taking OBL out.

     When I chose Leon Panetta as Director of the CIA, I said he was going to be a strong advocate for this agency and would strengthen your capabilities to meet the threats of our time.  And when I chose Jim Clapper as Director of National Intelligence, I charged him with making sure that our intelligence community works as one integrated team.  That’s exactly what these two leaders have done, along with all of you.

Whew! First paragraph, after the obligatory “thank yous” and 4 “I’s” already. Thirty five in total for his 7 minute address in case you’re keeping count.

While I’m here, maybe I can help you connect all these dots too.

And still we’re not done! Lady M was off to woo wow the graduating cadets and their families at the U.S. Military Academy at West  Point.

More on that later, butt now I’m going to sneak into Lady M’s organic garden of Verses to plant some flowers among the prickly nettles, turnips and black kale. I like to have a little bouquet in my bunker come summer and I think I can grow them in the shadows of the more politically correct veggies without anyone being the wiser.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal Thanks!

With Friends like this…

Well, put Big Guy down as a proponent of the Bush doctrine. That’s right; although he was against democracy before he was for it, he’s now completely down with it – at least in the Mideast.

And that might be what everyone was talking about today, butt for the other about-face he took at his State Department speech. He called for a return to the 1967 – well, actually 1948 - border between Israel and Palestine. Apparently Beebe heard about his plan to throw Israel under his decidedly crowded bus and called Hill, who was unable to persuade Big Guy to yank that little snip out of his big speech.

Hill doesn’t look too happy, having been red-lined from the speech.

 

People watched Big Guy’s Arab Spring speech with rapt attention throughout the Middle East:

 

 

 

 

So I suppose I should clear the golf clubs and dirty laundry bags out of the back hall, because it looks like Bennie will be arriving via the rear entrance again today.

Anyway, after consulting with both Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, BO came up with the not so original two-state solution without going so far as to address the Palestinian “right to return” claim. Since that’s really the whole issue, it looks like this speechifying was just a little grandstanding from the opposite side of the field. Butt hey, Big Guy’s got TOTUS and a Nobel Peace Prize, so it’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Besides, the real purpose of the read was not to clear things up in the Middle East, butt to test drive a two state solution for the US as well. The proposal would be to return the US to the pre-1845 border between us and Mexico. In short, he wants to give Texas back to the Mexicans. It’s a win-win: we won’t have to build moats with alligators, and Mexico gets all the rednecks who aren’t going to vote for Big Guy no matter what.

That wasn’t the only news coming out of the Big White yesterday – the day was jam-packed with campaign events.

First, Lady M lent her awesome artistic talents to another community service wall painting project. In these troubled times, there’s more demand than ever for volunteers to come in and paint cartoons on walls to cheer people up.

Supporting our military families by brightening up the base in our recycled big purple Keds

Talent on loan from God

And later there was the annual Democratic National Committee's Women's Leadership Forum, an important group in the launch of our 2012 WTF campaign.

 

Because the ladies absolutely love Big Guy:

Charter members of our fan club

Here’s the lovely dress MO wore in it’s full length beauty shot - complete with gathers, pleats and full-camo pumps:

2012.WTF. Let’s raise the roof!