Getting Your Money’s Worth

I know you all thought $4 million for a vacation was a little steep, butt when you take a look at this, I think you’ll agree with me that the Wons are definitely getting your money’s worth.

So rest well America, the champions of the little people are squeezing in a little “me time” in Big Guy’s alleged birth state before getting back to work on for the American people. Because as we discovered in last Friday’s interview with Babs, putting yourself first is just “practical”  or something.

Lady M needs the time in order to garner the schtrength to draft the sequel to her “Get Up and Move your Fat Asses”  anti-childhood obesity campaign.

Following from behind: local kids respond to Lady M’s directive to “get up and go, an hour a day” along the Lanikai Pillboxes Trail that the Wons hiked earlier in the day.

And Big Guy is garnering his strength in order to rectify his mistake of not adequately preparing Americans for the economic “long haul” of a deep, dark depression - caused by George W. Bush and prolonged and deepened by the R-words in Congress.

Anyway, here’s a peek at this year’s digs where we’re re-chargin’ our solar batteries (non-specified holiday gift from the now defunct Solyndra Industries):

[note: photos provided compliments of whitehouse.gov (parody) website. Pay no attention to the photos provided by Politico. They’re just trying to portray this as a “downsized” vacation. Hee hee – that’s a good one!]

Poolside:

Our massage room:

And Little Bo’s room:

luxurious kitchen:

Nice kitchen! Our Big White chefs were pleased to be working here on Christmas. Their families, not so much; butt we’re all here to sacrifice.

Here’s a description of our quaint little winter island cottage:

In the past, President Obama has chosen the luxurious Paradise Point Plantation Estate in lovely Kailua as his "Winter White House". In the spirit of openness and transparency, you are invited to view the stunning photos, study the detailed floor plan, and enjoy the magnificent video of the President's winter retreat.

Historically, our Winter Holliday here has been jam-packed with official Presidential activities:

During President Obama's past Hawaii vacations he:

• Played golf at Olomana Golf Links, Luana Hills Country Club, Kaneohe Klipper, and Mid-Pacific Country Club
• Visited the Valley of the Temples Memorial Park
• Visited Aloha Tropical Farms - macadamia nut farm outlet store
• Had a picnic at Magic Island - Ala Moana Beach Park
• Visited Punchbowl Cemetery
• Enjoyed the view at the Pali Lookout
• Toured the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor
• Went snorkeling at Hanauma Bay
• Body-surfed at Sandy Beach
• Watched a dolphin show at Sea Life Park
• Visited the Honolulu Zoo
• Worked out at the Semper Fit Center at Marine Corps Base Hawaii
• Went bowling at K-Bay Lanes at Marine Corps Base Hawaii
• Went swimming at Pyramid Rock Beach
• Played tennis at Kailua Racquet Club
• Played some basketball at Punahou and at the Semper Fit Center
• Had a barbeque on the North Shore with old friends
• Enjoyed the local dining - spam musubi, shave ice

And this year is no exception. Yesterday Big Guy worked out at the Marine base gym, went on a hike along the Lanikai Pillboxes Trail – and still had enough energy left for 18 holes in the afternoon!

So let’s put to rest once and for all that rumor that Big Guy started himself about being lazy .

And he wants to make this perfectly clear: if you took his comments to Bab about being lazy to mean that he, HIMSELF, is lazy, that is emphatically NOT what he intended to have you infer from what he did not mean to imply. Got that?

He was just saying that IF he was lazy, it would likely be due to the fact that his alleged birth state makes it easy to be lazy with all those nice sunny beaches beckoning.

Although not too many people other than the Wons and their friends will be lazin’ on this gorgeous beach since the Secret Service has pretty much done a clean sweep of the little people.

Patrolling the Guard-O-Canal near the Wons’ ocean front compound

And Big Guy isn’t the only one getting a little “me time” here in beautiful Hawaii. In fact, the weather and beaches are so nice that Ex-Madam-Speaker Pelosi is also spending her holiday in Hawaii. Although she’s staying in a far more economical suite at the Four Seasons – only $10,000 a night!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Butt it’s not too shabby either!

So, as I said, rest well America. Our political class is busy relaxin’ in order to shore up the strength to tell all the little people what to eat, how much your fair share is, how to live, think and vote. Especially vote.

Maybe this little video will  help you see why the political class is better, smarter (richer) and more capable of ruling us little people: ‘cuz nothing says “smartest man on the planet” better than a sub zero refrigerator/freezer, built-in microwave, espresso machine and wine cooler.

 

Paradise Estates: The name says it all, no?

Kids Say the Darndest Things.

What could be better than spending Christmas in Big Guy’s alleged birth state? Spending Christmas in Big Guy’s alleged birth state on someone else’s dime!

So in a show of gratitude to the American people for their $4 million Winter Holiday gift, we spent an hour yesterday visiting with military families enjoying a Christmas dinner at Kaneohe Marine base - which makes the the whole 17 day sleep away seem more like a “business” trip than a holiday!

Earlier yesterday, because we’re now officially into our re-election campaign,  we went to church too:

All I can say is Wow! They look like sisters!

Lady M’s wearing recycled Sophie Theallet, this stunning tablecloth sundress initially appeared on our first historic presidential world tour in 2009 -

and then AGAIN on our first historic presidential vacation on Martha’s Vineyard:

We also wore recycled for our obligatory trip to Kaneohe Marine base for Christmas hugs and baby kissing,

This time in a Comme des Garcons skirt made up in special island-themed upholstery fabric, complete with decorative upholstery nails:

                   

…last seen here, returning from one trip or another:

Don’t you just hate those water-retention days?

Imagine this chair, minus the cute cat acrobatics, with decorative studs around the arm seams:

And just be grateful, because this special designer skirt comes in other colors too:

  and I already know how you feel about that sofa:

Any hoo, we did the baby thing on Christmas too, because the voters seem to love it. Butt I don’t know when pols are going to figure out what every second rate actor knows intuitively: kids and cute animals always steal the scene. Especially when they have speaking parts. This little guy was deadly on all fronts: not only cute butt, despite not speaking English yet, still able to make a pretty clear political statement:

Stuff it, Big Guy

Although he was by no means the first baby to pass this message along:

This baby acts as spokesperson for his generation, perhaps explaining his colleagues sentiments:

h/t Sleepless in Midland

Kids do say the darndest things. Happy boxing day! From our house to your house.

I wonder if Amazon has an after Christmas sale on brass knuckles?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

A Christmas Blessing 2011

Christmas greetings to you and yours from Team MOTUS (MOTUS, Raj, Little Mo & Little Bo). Please click to zoom in on our card for a reminder of what has been sacrificed to ensure that we remain free to celebrate the day in the religious tradition (or not) of our choice.

Photo Mosaic by Flatsimile Studios

Fallen Heroes photos via Washington Post.

Mannheim Steamroller: Stille Nacht

Blessings to all of our troops and their families during this season of real hope. Drag to re-center and zoom into other areas.

Originally posted December 25, 2009

The Little Drummer Boy’s World Tour: A Christmas Card for You

Despite being the laziest busiest man on the planet, Big Guy found time this holiday season to make a very special Christmas card. It’s especially for those of you who still don’t believe he is a Christian despite all those Sundays he spent in Reverend Wright’s pews.

This should seal the deal for you.

Now, before we all head off to join family and friends, I feel compelled to report on something Lady M said in the interview with Bab’s last night – in case you were too busy to enjoy it. Normally I would just let this slide on the eve of such a wondrous day, butt I  know everyone else is going to be all over it, so I want you to hear it here first.

In a random act of honesty – no doubt prompted by the Christmas spirit - Lady M explained  why she feels being selfish serves everyone best: (and by “everyone” I mean Lady M)

Barbara Walters, ABC News: "Mrs. Obama, you've recently said something that I thought was very interesting for other women to hear. You said 'you put your own self highest on your priority list.' That sounds selfish?"

Michelle Obama: "No, no, it's practical. It's something that I found I needed to do for quite some time, even before the presidency. And I found it other women, in similar situated balancing career family, trying to do it all and a lot of times we just slip pretty low on our own priority list because we're so busy caring for everyone else. And one of the things that I want to model for my girls is investing in themselves as much as they invest in others."

Walters: "So what do you do?"
Obama: "Make sure I get my exercise in so I work out as much as he works out."

Walters: "I hear more."
Obama: "I do now. He's been busier. Spending time with girlfriends. Going out. You know, pulling in people in my life who give me strength and joy."

So there you have it: Lady M’s secret for achieving schtrength and joy: a little “me” time. And we’re getting a little over $4 million worth of “me time” this holiday season. So on behalf of Lady M, I’d like to extend her “thanks” to all of you who still have jobs and have so thoughtfully contributed to her “schtrength and joy.”

God bless us, everyone. And stay schtrong!

UPDATE: ALOHA, LITTLE DRUMMER BOY:  PA-RUMP-PA-PA-PUM

The Rooster has landed – those are some hot drumsticks!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Chickaboomer, and motherbelt on News Busters, Thanks!

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.

Today’s riddle: "Has this place become so dysfunctional that even when we agree to things, we can't do it?" **

 

Looks like the political theatrics have finally played out on the payroll tax cut (and the unemployment extensions and Medicare cuts). And I’m not talking about Big Guy here – although he was great in his role too.

          

It’s sometimes difficult to discern whether a play is a tragedy, comedy, melodrama or farce. In that event, take your cues from the actors’ faces

I’m talking about Speaker John’s manufactured drama, designed to school his Animal House Tea Party freshman on how things really work around Washington. He let them muss up his tidy house and make as much noise as they wanted to, just to teach them a lesson on how things really get done around here.

I hope they were paying attention. Because this is a competition, not an exhibition: the stakes are high, the Speaker holds all the wild cards and the House is stacked against you. Wagering done at your own peril.

Here’s the real news coming out of this “story” though – yesterday’s “$40 per paycheck” increase for everyman if the House didn’t pass the extension of the payroll tax reduction...

turned into just “a tax increase of $20 a week” today. Wow! I knew inflation was heating up - even though they’ve been trying to hide it from me by charging the same butt making all my paper towels a half inch shorter. Butt $40 going to $20? That’s like, what, 100% decrease in value overnight? What is this, Argentina?

Anyway, the good news: with this logjam in Congress apparently breaking up, Big Guy will be cleared for take off in time to join the family in Kailuana in time to celebrate an unspecified Winter Holiday on or about Sunday.

And you can disregard that bogus report about Big Guy not wanting to spend his holidays in his alleged birth state:

Michelle Obama insisted on a pricey holiday to Hawaii when her husband would have rather gone to a presidential retreat, according to reports.

She allegedly wanted the taxpayer-funded $4million trip when Barack Obama sought instead to make the short trip to Camp David in Maryland.

I think you know how notoriously inaccurate the National Enquirer is. So when they report:

‘Barack read his wife the riot act, but his words fell on deaf ears. Michelle said there was “no way” she was going to disappoint her daughters.

you can just tell it’s a fabrication. Except that part about his words falling on deaf ears. That’s pretty much the case whether Big Guy’s talking to Lady M, world leaders or even Little Bo.

“Hey! I said no sniffing! Where’s his damn handler, anyway?”

The only people who really listen to him any more are our friendly lapdogs in the MSM. And speaking of which: don’t miss Barbara Walters full interview with Lady M and Big Guy tonight!

I know you’re all going to be busy baking cookies and wrapping presents, butt this is must-see TeeVee. Here’s just a little teaser:

What's the trait you most deplore in yourself, and the trait you most deplore in others?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Laziness. Nothing frustrates me more than when people aren't doing their jobs. The thing actually that I most dislike is cruelty. I can't stand cruel people. And if I see people doing something mean to somebody else, just to make themselves feel important it really gets me mad. But, with myself, since I tend not to be a mean person, you know, if I get lazy, then I get mad at myself.

“Laziness”?  “Nothing frustrates me more than when people aren't doing their jobs.”? “The thing actually that I most dislike is cruelty.”  I admit it, I’m confused. Somewhere in there I think there’s a complete non sequitur. Or a Freudian unveiling. Either way, we’re going to have to knock off the pre-interview Jack and Xanax cocktails.

What three words would you each use to describe the other?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Beautiful, smart and funny.

You do realize we’re talking about Lady M, right?

MICHELLE OBAMA: Smart, sportsman, and father.

“Sportsman” !? Where did that come from, I wonder?

Oh! That kind of sportsman. Not this kind:

Sarah’s idea of being a “bag man”

What is your biggest peeve about each other?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Oh, I don't have one.

MICHELLE OBAMA: My list is too long.

Don’t read to much into the apparent disparity in Big Guy’s and Lady M’s answers. Remember, he’s a politician, so parsing his answer it could mean “I don’t have any ‘biggest’ peeve, they’re all about equal;” which would make his answer quite similar to MO’s. And besides, we’ve already heard Big Guy’s explanation for this apparent little white lie:

On what occasion do you lie? [ed.disregard the fact that this is a variation on the “when did you stop beating your wife” setup]

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Usually, the only time I lie is very personal interactions with family members, who you say, "You look great," and they don't. "Wonderful dress..." Uh, not so much.

“…and no, it doesn’t make your butt look big either.”

I don’t know about you, butt I can’t think of a better way to spent the night before Christmas Eve. 10:00 pm EST. ABC. Don’t miss it.

** Answer: Yes Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

Big Guy Goes Shopping with the Dog and Bags Himself an Elephant

Yesterday was another jam packed day full of activity for Big Guy, even though he’s supposed to be on vacation in the alleged state of his birth. Yet he’s still managed to help you with your gift buying by selecting some always popular books – all available on Amazon – for everyone on your gift list.

We’ve temporarily suspended our war on Christmas in order to redirect the artillery to the even more popular class war.(Class Warfare, available on Amazon, $17.97)

OWIES for OBAMA

In fact, we’ll actually be invoking the spirit of Christmas as a foil in the class war.  “How dare the heartless Republicans go home for Christmas without passing the payroll tax reduction bill? They don’t care about your babies!” 

See how that works? In truth, nobody can understand why they won’t just pass the damn bill now! Butt I don’t know why Big Guy doesn’t just do what all lesser bosses do when faced with a crisis on the job: summon all the worker-bees back to work to get the job done.

We’re executing our “Leading from Behind” strategy

I guess he doesn’t want to mess up Congress’ unspecified holiday plans. Nor does he want to let this opportunity to blame the heartless R-words go to waste. After all they’re taking food out of the mouths of children suffering from obesity.

And good news! You too can become a foot soldier in the class war! Join our gang of tweeters in the war room by telling us what extra hardship you’ll endure by losing that extra $40 from your paycheck for 2 months! 

Of course you must be employed and actually getting a paycheck in order to play. Not so with our fun lottery to win a dinner with Big Guy and a Lady M: 

Space is Limited: so contribute now!

I even got an email from Reggie inviting me to take part in this special promotion. Really – Reggie of all people! I think he’s going to follow in Debbie Wasserman Schultz’ footsteps and get his advanced degree in Political Campaigning, aka, fundraising:

So, after thanking the House Republicans for the swell holiday present that they handed him on a silver platter:

This Is Not A Game (available for $3.97 on Amazon)

Big Guy called the press and went on an impromptu shopping trip, continuing his recommendations for books your friends and relatives may enjoy.

Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There. Only $10.87.

Bo shops for some treats with Little Bo at Petsmart it’s always nice to have a few bones to gnaw on – it’s a nice bonding exercise:

The Lovely Bones. $10.19

Then we bagged some good buys at Best Buy:

The Man with the Red Bag: $6.40 Amazon Prime

And BO actually used his own credit card to buy some Wii games (!):

Big Change at Best Buy: Working Through Hypergrowth to Sustained Excellence (an excellent buy at just $4.00 – if it works)

Then he picked up some thin-crust specialty pizzas at Del Ray’s (don’t tell Lady M) to pick up 3 pizzas to go: one large (14") thin crust "Supreme Clientele" pizza, which has red sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, sausage, peppers, red onions, olives, and mushrooms, and sells for $19. Big Guy’s other two pizzas were special orders: A 14" thin crust pepperoni and sausage pie, and a 14" thin crust pie with green peppers and red onions. Each was $20. He paid with cash that someone just happened to have handy.

Management and Feeding of Sheep: $31.45 Amazon Prime

 

Pie in the Sky: the Authorized History of Punkin Chunkin' : $20.  Amazon Prime

…and returned to the Big White to continue to wage war on for the American people.

Herding Cats: Teaching and Leading in a Postmodern World: $12.95 Amazon Prime

Just another day in the life of Big Guy: Saving the world from democracy while helping you, the little people, with your unspecified Winter Holiday shopping. It’s OK, you can say “thanks” at the polls next November.

PS: Chickaboomer is all over this story too: Obama Pulls A Boner