Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hark! A Sleeping Giant Wakes

“We have awakened a sleeping giant and have instilled in him a terrible resolve." Admiral Isaroku Yamamoto (h/t: PatAZ & LarryB)

Ireland's Sleeping Giant Island aka'The Dead ManThe sleeping Giant, off the coast of Ireland’s Dingle peninsula

Could it be? Could the pendulum – after tracing one of the longest arcs ever recorded in the history of America - possibly be swinging back? Finally?

There certainly were indications of that possibility last night from both fly-over and  - of all places - California!?! What’s up with that – the Tea Party isn’t even legal in California!

So here are the gory results from Wisconsin: despite voter turnout of 119% in Madison yesterday, Governor Walker still won the day handily (although I understand Ed Schultz is still counting the absentee ballots):

Walker  53 %

Barrett  47 %

Walker took 61% of the white working class workers (the group that, as I first reported last year, Big Guy’s big brains wrote off). I’m assuming Barrett took the union vote, including the ones from Illinois and Michigan. In the final analysis this turned out to be contest between the haves (public unions, whose pensions are 4.5 times larger than the private sector) and the have-nots (you, the taxpayer). Stunningly, the have-nots won this time.

Obama-isnt-working-Romney-Video-Screenshot

So here we are, headed into our 3rd summer of non-recovery. Bubba, our Big Dawg in the fight keeps wandering off the plantation at will, and now - a crushing defeat to our Big Labor arm in Wisconsin. And California – our most periwinkle of blue states! That’s going to leave a mark.

Or not. I guess it’s not that big of a deal. We just need to move on. Butt you can tell nobody around here is very happy with the results that certainly aren’t Big Guy’s fault.

mo - 2Obama-Press-Conference-Frown-600x469

So we take solace where we find it. No, not the tea trolley, although it does have its role.  I’m talking about the triumph of Lady M’s fight to eliminate obesity and free-will in one generation through preachy government intervention. Butt, get ready; there will be those freedom loving outlier radicals like Lady Liberty 1885 who will be the buzzkill to our choom.

Here’s Lady M announcing Disney’s decision to cave to her vastly superior health knowledge by agreeing to ban all ads from it’s children’s programing that hawk sugary, salty food or drink.

With tight limits placed on calories, fats, sugar and sodium, many commercials for fizzy drinks, frosted cereals, sweets and sticky cakes would be eradicated from Disney networks.

mo a year of living magicallyIt’s been a year of living magically alright

This way mommy and daddy won’t have to explain to the wee wons why they can’t have unlimited amounts of sugary cereal, beverages, cupcakes and chips.

 

mo-mickey-mouse-kids-ignoringButt let’s not be spiking the ball

Obama hailed Disney’s move as a game-changer. “It’s huge. Just a few years ago if you had told me or any other mom or dad in America that our kids wouldn’t see a single ad for junk food while they watched their favorite cartoons on a major TV network, we wouldn’t have believed you,” she said.

I’m pretty sure she isn’t the only one who never would have believed it:

004-1014122935-Mickey-Mouse-Salutes-America

So amidst all the gloomy news, we’re grateful for this victory to flaunt. Because it seems like people are going out of their way now to sling bows and arrows in our direction. It certainly isn’t a good sign that the photographers are no longer committed to capturing Big Guy in god-like poses:

bo halo

What’s more troublesome of course is the imagery some of them are replacing those iconic shots with:

          obama mickey earsobama mickey

 Don’t they know how sensitive he is about his ears?

Butt getting back to our crushing defeat, that isn’t our fault; do you know what the Wisconsin motto is? “Forward.” No, I’m not kidding: “FORWARD! Reflecting Wisconsin's continuous drive to be a national leader” So I guess we’ll be dropping that one from our trial campaign slogan list too. Which is good, because I’m tired of coming up with four words every day.

The way things are shaping up, the only positive thing left in our arsenal is Lady M. So it looks like a grueling, in more ways than one, campaign season for everyone.

newseum new food ad standards moMaybe we can retrofit our campaign slogan to “Fashion Forward”

I’m pretty sure Ann Romney had a pale yellow jacket just like this back in the 90’s. Butt she never thought to pair it up with a fashion forward color blocked dress to show it to it’s best effect.  Back then fashion was so boring: a black sheath underneath, black pumps, hose and a simple gold necklace, or maybe pearls, and that was it. No color pops anywhere let alone everywhere.

Butt goodness, listen to me prattling on about the 90’s. Things have certainly changed a lot since then haven’t they Mickey?

Mickey_Noose_by_freenyMickey?

Oh, and I suppose you saw Lady M on Letterman last night delivering the Top-Ten list:

mo and barackoliLady M poses with her Barackoli: again with the ears?!

The full list of Mrs. Obama's  top ten "fun facts on gardening":

No. 10: Gardening was invented in 1822 by Albert Gardener.

No. 9: Plant avocadoes, tomatoes, onions and cilantro together and grow a guacamole tree.

No. 8: Eggplants were originally cultivated for use as doorstops.

No. 7: In his lifetime, the average American will eat half a radish.

No. 6: The largest zucchini ever grown contained a Starbucks.

No. 5: Later this year the Supreme Court will finally rule on "tomato" vs. "tomahto."

No. 4: If you have an actual green thumb, it might be scurvy.

No. 3: Lettuce is 96 percent water and 4 percent lettuce.

No. 2: The White House tool shed contains shovels, trowels and Weed Whacker One.

No. 1: "With enough care and effort you can grow your own Barack-oli."

Regarding No. 2, “Weed Whacker Won” is one of Big Guy’s code-names around here.

bo choom poster

Just thought you’d want to know.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and MRM on twitter, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and anyonebutbarry2012, Thanks!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Breaking the Circle of Poverty, One Election at a Time

UPDATE: Had to repost since the video didn’t embed. It looks like I lost a few comments in the repost, so sorry! I’m afraid I can’t recapture.

Finally: our reelection campaign has hit its stride. We have now officially locked up the two most crucial voting blocks in the Democratic party: Hollywood and the fashion industry. These are just two of the constituencies that totally reflect Big Guy’s deep commitment to moving the great Socialist Movement American experiment Forward.

Well, here, I’ll let Greg explain:

I think he speaks eloquently for the rest of America.

“Saying ‘vote Obama’[is] the best thing to happen to no-talents since breast implants, which is why Hollywood is now Obama’s volunteer PR army and personal ATM machine. But while the prez and this cult are the best star-pairing since ‘Thelma and Louise,’ — you know how that ended. And also, if Anna Wintour is the face of the campaign … your campaign may need a facelift.”

Butt we’re not relying strictly on that star power to win this thing. We’ve also got Bubba in our camp (sort of).

bo bubba happy to be here.2jpgHappy to be here, BO. Really.

In a fundraising marathon both Bo and Bubba trumpeted their mutual bragging rights of being the most fiscally responsible presidents since…Eisenhower! Wait, who? Wow, impressive nevertheless.

Of course, Bubba’s enviable spending levels are due to wisely signing up with the R-words contract with America and signing onto a fiscally responsible plan of reducing welfare funding along with any number of other decidedly undemocratic spending cuts. I wonder if that could work again?

Anyway, as for Big Guy: we all know that the big spending he’s been forced to approve was all George W. Bush’s fault. And he doesn’t have to count the money he’s committed to spending in perpetuity for his signature legislation, Obamacare, because we’re only counting the made-up savings in the current time frame. The spending comes later, and it will be somebody else’s fault. That’s why we call it government mathamagicals.

Now, on a more important issue; have you seen the lengths to which the R-words have gone to be dismissive, even derisive of Lady M’s campaign to eliminate childhood obesity in one generation? They’ve now planted a story that exercise is not good for you! What next, we find out the Happy Meal is actually good for you?

mo happy meal

This nonsense non-science has just got to stop.

Whatever will we do for photo ops if we have to stop exercising?

mo crinkleslets movemonoproven' we're not a hypocritfat like me232x334form follows functionmichelle-obama-lets-move-10ORIOLESmarchinsocce5soccer3

Anyway, for now we’re focusing on preparations for our patriotic 4th of July celebration. I think we’re going to hire the Queen’s Jubilee staff as our party planner, as they seem to have a sense of the kind of all-American celebration we’d like to have on the Washington Mall.

Picnic baskets for all attendees prepared to the exacting standards of Chef:

royal picnic lunch by experimental chef Heston Blumenthala Queens spread

Fireworks extraordinaire:

tv competes with the real thing

And a HOPE and CHANGE themed Ferris wheel over the Potomac:

new obama logo

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

barack_obama_logo___hope_circl_by_ryankopf

Break the Circle. November 6, 2012

Don’t forget to help Governor Walker continue to break the circle of poverty in Wisconsin today. Be sure to vote if you live in Wisconsin. Or Chicago – it’s not that far of a drive and you can register at the door.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Our Queen for a Day doesn’t know enough to come in out of the rain

Wow! Talk about pomp and circumstance! Did you see the adoring crowds at the Queen’s jubilee on the Telly over the weekend?

bo rope line woman in chicago cultural center 6-1-12

In London, I mean.

Where Queen Elizabeth II, despite threatening skies, continued the celebration of her 60th year as head of the British monarchy.

article-2154027-136E0CFC000005DC-845_470x532

article-2154027-136E5994000005DC-850_964x549

I don’t really understand what all the fuss is about. For heaven’s sake, what does Britain have that we don’t? A royal family?

Do we not rock the royal red as well as any royal whatshername?

red queenmo-red queen-watermark cropdiamond jubilee flotilla 3 030612

Do our Big White mirrors Embarrassed smile, not reflect queens too?

 Official Diamond Jubilee portrait of British monarch HM Queen Elizabeth IIJan. 20, 2009
ÒPresident-elect Barack Obama was about to walk out to take the oath of office. Backstage at the U.S. Capitol, he took one last look at his appearance in the mirror.Ó
(Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Do we not have a royal flotilla?

flotillaQueen’s flotilla on the Thames; Big Guy’s new Naval flotilla prototype: solar powered barge with unarmed F-18 Hornet

Fairy tale coaches? We’ve got ’em:

fairy tale coachchevy-volt-obamajpg-8d8566418d825660_large

And ours self-ignite

Orb’s and scepters?

orb and scepterThe orb represents Christian sovereignty, while the scepter beside it symbolizes the monarch's temporal power under the cross.

 

         220px-Coronation_of_Queen_Elizabeth_II_Xbo czar

I’m not sure about the Christianity and cross thing (separation of church and state you know), and it’s not clear just how “temporal” Big Guy considers his powers; butt otherwise, check – orb, scepter:     

                        Chambord by Donald Edgeobamacare scepter

So why all this nostalgia for the monarchy, a construct invented by old dead white guys? Perhaps it’s because the political class has mucked things up so badly?

During [Queen Elizabeth’s] reign – David Cameron is her 12th prime minister – respect for Britain’s political class has plummeted.

Yet the Royal Family is gaining in popularity, with seven out of ten people believing the nation is better off with the monarchy.

Tellingly, a poll yesterday found three times as many people think the Queen, for all the privilege that she enjoys, is more in touch with ordinary Britons than Mr Cameron and his senior ministers.

Odd, isn’t it, when the royals seem more down to earth than mere celebrity icons?

I wonder if one of the reasons for their rebound might be the new thrifty Royal, Kate, Duchess of Cambridge. Even the Queen Mum has grown fond of “...her thrifty attitude towards her wardrobe and willingness to wear the same outfit twice...” (Not thrice or fourthice (?) mind you, butt twice.)

ka_2210414ah/t Full-MetalSpanx

Although to the best of my knowledge Kate doesn’t do it in a fashion forward way like Lady M:

mo backwards blouseFool me once, shame on you; fool we twice…

Although it may already be too late for England if you believe Kyle Smith. Even frugal, grounded Royals may not be able to save the Union Jack:  Britain’s Already Dead, It Just Hasn’t Been Buried Yet.

Against the wishes of the average citizen, Britain has a government that is simultaneously abdicating its core functions and pretending to take responsibility for other duties for which it is spectacularly ill-suited. It has abandoned a proud, concrete culture in pursuit of a hazy dream of a transnational ideal. The people’s response has been to fume lightly and do nothing, because they’re British and expect things to be bad and get worse.

Quite unlike us Yanks, who tend to fume vehemently before doing nothing. Butt seriously, how does this happen? Getting a government that governs against the wishes of the average citizen I mean?

“The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money.”
Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

Oh. Yeah, there’s that.

Butt we’re not gloomy like the Brits! Because we’re Americans we just continue to HOPE for a CHANGE. I HOPE this time around it’s a sea change.

any port in a storm

Because when the ship’s going down, you need more than a man with an umbrella.

 

morton salt girl

Really