Saturday Sequester Survival Stories

I’m feeling a little disjointed today, butt It’s Saturday! That means it’s time for my spankin’ new feature: Saturday Sequester Survival Stories. Harrowing tales of real people who survived the R-word’s sequester, only to face an even more terrifying future!

First on the docket, Pet Care.

I don’t know about you, butt the Wons are just too busy Organizing for Action and shrinking children's’ fat behinds to feed and walk their dog.

Little Bo’s “security” could stand to visit the salad bar every so often

Sure, I know Big Guy drops the old “got to go scoop the poop” canard when he wants out of some boring fundraiser with the 1%. Butt I don’t think anybody, except maybe the boring 1%  giving him all that money, believes him.

And it’s not just that they’re too busy. It’s really more about the optics.

“Leading from behind”

An Axis of Evil Opens Off-Broadway

Did you know that 30 years ago today Ronald Reagan first called the Soviet Union the  “Evil Empire” in a speech  delivered at a meeting of the National Association of Evangelicals?

Calling communism “the focus of evil in the modern world,”  his otherwise rather routine speech  electrified and polarized the political class, as it was delivered at a time when Congress was debating a resolution in support of a "nuclear freeze," a doctrine  then supported, not surprisingly, by the Soviet Union. It’s still supported today by Russia, their successor of evil.

And apparently it’s still supported by Reagan’s successor as well:

Tell Putie I just need a little more space to flex my executive powers

Sequestering the Filibuster

Have you been devastated by the sequester yet? Maybe not, butt you will be, just like I was.

The sequester horror stories just keep streaming in. This just in from American Digest’s sidebar: Sequester Cuts Force Obama to Kick Mother-in-Law Out of White House!

I know what you’re wondering. Are they sending GrannyR back to the murder capital of “gun free zones,” Chicagoland?

No. Don’t worry. We’re putting her in a public housing project not far from Big White. My biggest concern was how we would get Lady M’s frocks altered, butt it looks like GrannyR has already got her Singer set up in her new digs. 

If you think that’s bad, butt you don’t hate the R-words yet, have a look at this from a bunch of 6th graders in Iowa:

Big White Goes Dark!

No, silly. Not that way. That would be racist! I’m talking about the Big White Closing! Big guy said the sequester would be devastating, butt I didn’t think it would be this bad.

This is going to wreak havoc on my first quarter results.

The sequester has already had a devastating impact on our economy. And by our economy, I mean moi: my little boutique is closing too!

Technically - if you’re in DC - you can still shop until Saturday 3/9/2013 (10-5:00 PM Today & Thursday, 10-8:00 PM Friday).

Directions to the MOTUS boutique if you happen to be visiting the Big White: in my bunker at the back of the little closet behind Lady M’s dressing room off the master bedroom. Hope to see you there!

MOOgle+

Were you there? At our first MOOgle+? I was and I don’t remember seeing most of you. Oh, you didn’t know that Google + Hangouts works both ways? Well it does, butt I’ll let you off the hook this time and fill you in on all the fun we had so you don’t leave me hanging there by myself next time.

First, our hangout was hosted by Kelly Ripka

butt since she was MOOgle+ing someplace else, we didn’t have to stand next to that skinny bi...little lady.

Ha... she’s got an outie!!!

Lady M and I were safely at home in our Big White studio. With all of our snacks tucked away out of camera range.

Shoot (can I say that?), I didn’t even have to power up my trans-imaging hardware, no butt shots and no skinny bi…. little ladies on the set.

Monday Mind-Meld, With Cheese

I thought I could side-step the Jedi-Vulcan-mind field blowup from last Friday. Butt you know how geeks are, they just won’t let it die.

The take-away from that presser was supposed to be “I AM NOT A DICTATOR” which worked pretty good for awhile. Then all the geeks, counter-geeks and presidential pundits had to weigh in.

Pull your pantaloons up, my little Jedi warrior

Next thing you know we’re getting analyses of whether the mix up of “Jedi mind tricks” with “Vulcan mind-meld” was purposeful, to demonstrate that Big Guy’s too cool to be a nerdy sci-fi geek. That argument was immediately countered by the nerdy sci-fi geeks - who really want to own this guy - that there is such a thing as a Jedi mind-meld, it’s just technically known as a Force-meld.

America: On the Edge of the Physical Cliff

It only took 5 years, butt Saturday Night Live finally discovered how truly funny Big Guy is. (I can’t wait till they figure out how funny Lady M is too!)

I guess the sequester cuts won’t be as bad as everyone thought after all – except for the cutback in Lady M’s television gigs. There will be hell to pay for that.

Butt don’t just take my word for it. Here, from yesterday’s Weekly Radio Address, a summary from the Wordle Wizard of Oz himself:

In The Words of the Wordle Wizard of Oz

I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do with this:

Tricky Dick, Slick Willie and the Wordle Wizard           H/T Instapundit

Since it’s on Facebook I guess you could just “like” it.

Butt it might be more fun to assign WaPo Pinocchios to see who wins.