Out of Africa

“Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.”
― Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa

Because of the Independence Day holiday and all the other news rolling out of Egypt around the time we were wrapping up our African non-safari trip, I never got a chance to adequately wrap up the highlights.

So settle in with your mug of coffee and one of those really naughty jelly filled donuts that are banned in NYC and get ready to rumble down that road; It’s the very special MOTUS Out of Africa Roundup.

“Here I am, where I am supposed to be.”  ― Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa

As you recall our journey began with the family departing from the south portico to board Marine Won:

Look – a zebra! And we haven’t even left home yet!

Our very subdued $100 million trip – “a nod to the reality of tight economic times” according to the LA Times:

Obama's trip included remembrances of great leaders and reflections on history, but was largely absent the typical cultural scenes:no safaris, no dancing, no posing with tribesmen.

Obama, in one of his few moments working a crowd, briefly grooved with a drum circle in Senegal. The president beamed and began to sway a bit — but stopped short of dancing.

Not short enough

We stopped by the fabled Goree Island, mythically rumored to be the port of slave drivers, butt in reality just the home of a Dutch merchant equipped with a convenient garbage chute to the sea (pre-global warming and EPA).

On the Isle of Misfits

We endured dozens of wardrobe changes:

A few of which you haven’t seen yet,

and some you’ve only seen from the front:

  

There was, of course, the usual adulation of the Won on the catwalk and the red carpet:

“But the trouble is not as you think now, that we have put up obstacles too high for you to jump . . . . It is that we have put up no obstacles at all.” - Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa

Then we hovered around Johannesburg and Capetown waiting for an invitation from the Mandela family to visit the comatose Madiba, Big Guy’s personal hero, for the historic photo op. When the invitation was not forthcoming, we settled for a visit to the prison cell where Madiba was held for 18 of his 27 years of incarceration.

As they pause to enter Madiba’s cell, Lady M’s BRF serves her well. Butt what’s up with that big smile on BO’s face? It looks like he’s having a Bill Clinton moment.

Then it was on to Tanzania, where MO wore several creations from her special “keyboard symbols” (h/t Gerard) collection.

First, there was the Tally-man top, sans bananas (h/t PATAZ), :

Followed shortly  by the “FORWARD!” key frock:

MO struggling with her BRF, and losing.

The Wons happened to be in Tanzania at the same time as the Bush’s. In fact, MO and Laura were on a panel of First Ladies together; you know – the one where Lady M kidded about being held prisoner in the Big White House:

"There are prison-like elements, but it's a really nice prison," Michelle said. "While people are sorting through our shoes and our hair ... whether we cut it or not ... We take our bangs and we stand in front of important things the world needs to see."

Butt mostly the Bushes were there to help renovate clinics that they’ve funded in order to advance Laura’s efforts to fight cervical and breast cancer in Africa. And they didn’t hesitate to roll up their sleeves to help out:

Just like the Wons do! Seen here on September 11, just one of our many new transformative National Days of Service:

As you see though, everyone cleaned up nicely for the memorial to the bombing of the US Embassy in 1998:

“In a world of fools, I was, I think, to him one of the greater fools.”
― Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa

Anyway, I’ve finally tracked down the inspiration for that Tally-man top that Lady M wore while in Tanzania (h/t Blonde Gator). She’s apparently counting the days left in her 8 year sentence.

Although I don’t think she’s the only one marking the days.

 

“Strange how one person can saturate a room with vitality, with excitement. Then there are others, and this dame was one of them, who can drain off energy and joy, can suck pleasure dry and get no sustenance from it. Such people spread a grayness in the air about them.”
― John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

 

Leaving Africa, tally me banana.

Linked By: Clarice Feldman, Lois Kathryn O'Secrest, Deirdre Bennett, James Robertson, Patricia Redd Dobbs, Erwin Meinhardt, Donald P Domke on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

No Beards!?! What Difference, at This Point, Does it Make?

Egypt. Just remember: we were for them before we were against them. And although it’s confusing, I think we’re for them again. If by “for” you mean non-committal and by “them” you mean who ever is in charge.

For the record, as of right now it would seem the military is in charge. And as you know we the military.

So, after days of noodling on it:

with all of the big brains who weren’t sailing on their ginormous yacht previously indisposed over the busy holiday week,

“Do you guys think we should call Hillary? She’s experienced with handling crap.”

Big Guy has reached this Solomon-esque decision: he has called for an “inclusive” political process in Egypt with a role for the Muslim Brotherhood.

And no wonder; the new military leaders are issuing executive orders that seem as tyrannical as the executive orders issued by the Muslim Brotherhood regime before them.

For example, it appears that they are about to implement a “no beards’ rule. Apparently the military is no more accepting of LGBT and Q than the Brothers-of-another mother were.

Anyway, this leaves Big Guy in quite a pickle: support the Brothers - who he was for, before he was against;  or support the Military, who he was against before he was for?

And if anybody insists on calling the Egyptian mess a “coup” that could put a real fly in the ointment:

A minor snag in federal law: If this is indeed a “military coup,” then the U.S. government is required to suspend aid. I wonder what sort of Orwellian parsing Obama and the State Department will use to decide that no, technically, this is not a coup after all.

Butt since BO’s good at “Orwellian parsing” that part’s not causing him any concern at this point. It’s the “No Beards” rule he’s worried about.

 

“No beards” and the whole thing falls apart.

He doesn’t want to resolve a big international problem only to find he’s created an even bigger domestic problem for himself.

So all hands on deck! Yes, I’m talking about Jean Carré; who - it appears - wasn’t on deck before he was on deck.

Egypt is clearly shaping up as a good job for a swabbie. So grab one of those mops, Jean, it’s your turn to clean up the mess.

 No, you moron! That’s Floppsie!

And since this is a very fluid situation – and you know we value your input - if you have any suggestions on how we can handle this sticky wicket, please tweet us at #Golf, #Yachts or #Whatdifferencedoesitmake.

Better get swabbing; we’ve got a lot of mess to mop up.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and Dennis Denton, Melissa Kunstadter on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Grab a Mop: We’ve Created Quite a Mess Here

The sequester cutbacks forced us to close the Big White to tours for school kids and people from flyover states. Butt thankfully we found enough money in the budget to host our annual Fourth of July party, concert and fireworks display in honor of Wee Won One’s 15th birthday party.

(aka “Independence Day” in flyover)

In order to avoid partisan criticism, we had to invite 1200 members of the military and their families to celebrate America’s 237th birthday along with WWO’s 15th.

Fortunately we have now perfected the art of doing our photo ops in 10 minutes or less: 

           

You can see how we’ve mastered this all important task as we reflect back over our previous  historic 4th of July celebrations:

2009: Our first Independence Day, just ahead of our first historic world tour.

2010: The Apron’s Red Glare

2011 “Seals, Sheets and Suds”

2012 “We’re All Terrorist’s Now”

And now, this year, coming off our latest historic world tour; the Wons never disappoint.

Since Big Guy won his second historic term, he finally stopped wearing his lucky blue shirt/khaki pants combo and broke out a shirt in a much gayer shade. There’s still no explaining Lady M’s taste in frocks.

Well, that’s all I have time for today as the sequester cuts also eliminated our Big Party cleanup budget. Big Guy said I had to grab a mop and clean up this mess, so I’ll be busy for the rest of the day.

Official White House issued rainbow mops: grab one

I’m going to keep a low profile though because I don’t want to be assigned to cleaning up in Tahrir Square too. That’s going to be a real mess; and frankly I think Big Guy, Val Jar and the rest of the “team of big brains” who made it should be responsible for that. And maybe Secretary of State, Jean Carré, when he’s finally done playing on his yacht off the coast of Nantucket,

A yacht so big even his tender has a tender

and finally decides to report for duty.

Linked By: Proof Positive, and Annie Brown on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network