If You Like Your Plan…Well, You Know.

Yesterday we officially launched the “We Be Hating on Big Greedy Insurance Companies” initiative to redirect the wrath of the millions of you people who are finding out that you can’t keep your insurance. Even though Barry promised.  Now that so many people are discovering they really can’t keep their coverage, we had to launch a full scale O-BS (operation blame shifting).

We even deployed the Valkyrie to fire the first shot:

"No change is required unless insurance companies change existing plans"…due to changes mandated by Obamacare. Don’t you love a good circular argument?

Butt it gets worse:

h/t Weasel Zippers

And it’s NBC, so you know it must be true; because they would not say it, and by law they could not say it, if it were not true.

Butt hey! It’s the law of the land now: so what difference, at this point, does it make? (h/t Hillz)

So I think a lot of people are going to be surprised when they find out how much they’re going to save by enrolling in the Obamacare Affordable Healthcare Plan.

Take Cody and Skylar, our young idealistic Obots, for example. We join them once again in their Seattle condo following the great Teahadist Government Shutdown, where they’ve just received a notice from their healthcare insurance company. (h/t Dewey from Detroit)

And in other Obamacare News: You probably noticed the cute Obamacare lady has disappeared from the Healthcare.gov website:

Despite rumors to the contrary, she’s not the designated “the buck stops here” driver. We  just had to cut her back to part time, as we can’t afford to put any more people on our expensive federal government insurance plan.

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Big Guy on camera clarifies his promise “If you like your health care plan…”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

60 Minutes of Sabotage Puts Butts in the Pew

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if we don’t have plenty to pray for around here:

Because above the knee skirts and over the knee boots are the perfect FLOTUS-goes-to-church look

No, I’m not talking about Lady M’s wardrobe choices, although I understand why some people would pray for intervention there. While it’s true that most 50 year old women don’t wear a 20-something party frock and hooker boots to Sunday morning services, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. As long as it makes you feel pretty.

Christmas party with the other Big O, 2009

Butt since it’s not an election year let’s examine what other prayer-worthy issues may have inspired yesterday’s semi-annual church visit.

A prayer of thankfulness, perhaps? That the 60 Minutes report on Benghazi came 360 days too late? And even then, failed to mention the role of Big Guy, YouTube videos, or Hillary in the tragedy?

“That there is no part 2 or 3, oh Lord, hear our prayer.”

Or maybe  we were praying that the history books will reflect that all blame for the deaths at Benghazi that night will be hung around Hill’s neck, not Big Guy’s? (Molsterman: “I told you so”)

Or possibly our prayers were directed to implore the Lord to help our little people get that troubled Healthcare.gov site fixed in time to take over 1/6 of the economy on schedule, even if it is way over budget. If that was it though, it’s not a good sign that the Obamacare-fail some-more system went dark again yesterday in all 50 states; (Molsterman, again, “Beware the no-bid contract”)

More likely the WONs were praying that all the phony scandals - IRS, Benghazi, NSA (1.0), and Fast and Furious - continue to remain phony “scandals” that BO knew nothing about until he heard it on the news, got the info from an unnamed “assistant” or read it on TOTUS.

”unnamed assistant” forced to work in the shadows

An unnamed assistant who, coincidentally, is related to a person or persons of interest who may or may not work for CGI, (h/t BiggieJ) the company that received a no-bid contract to design our Healthcare.gov site. (Molsterman, one more time, “no-bid government contracts are always corrupt, dirty deals cut in back rooms to avoid the “transparency” of money being diverted into the hands of unqualified, incompetent contractors”)

And BTW, that’s the case with the Angie Merkel phone tapping incident (NSA phony scandal 2.0) too: nobody tells Big Guy anything around here anymore. 

I think if I were Big Guy I’d be saying my prayers pretty much 24/7, HOPEing that the rest of the MSM doesn’t wake up one day and ask themselves “What else didn’t he know, and when didn’t he know it? History has not been kind to men of whom this has been asked.

The composite president: part liar, part...

Linked By: DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and Vicki Thomas, Clint Counts, Kathleen Franklin Avant, Charlotte Crain, Abby L Call, Wanda Loethen, Candace Crider, Arabella Trefoil on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Molsterman Report # 5: Analyzing Future Dem HOPEfuls

NOTE:  This is part of a continuing series of exclusive, clandestine, interviews with my mole (“Deep Quote” aka, “Molsterman,” secretly “Little Mo” to the MOTUS community) over at the Department of Justice.

I recently sat down again with Molsterman, who is still under deep cover at NSA, to talk about the 2016 Democratic hopefuls, and a little about the Healthcare.gov fiasco.

 

MOTUS: Thanks for coming over to give me your analysis of the potential Democratic Presidential nominees. I’m also curious as to what you’ve “unearthed”  for us regarding the Healthcare.gov fiasco.

 

Molsterman: Very funny. Now stop that! You’ll blow my cover. And you know I can’t talk about the Obamacare heist – too sensitive right now, got to file it with the rest of the phony scandals for the time being. But I can tell you what I know about the Dems 2016 contenders.

MOTUS: You’re a long time Beltway operative, so I’m sure your experience gives you some unique perspectives on the candidates.

Molsterman: Sure. I’ve been in this game a long time, I might be tempted to say “I’ve seen it all,” but there’s always a twist. Something nobody could see coming. There aren’t any microphones or cameras in here are there?

Math is Hard: Remind Me Again, How Many Zeroes in a Trillion?

Big Guy visited Brooklyn yesterday and told kids at Pathways In Technology Early College High School that (the Republicans) in Congress need to take a remedial math class;

12 + 7, uh…okay, no, no - don’t tell me! I’ve got that one here, somewhere.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Now, some of these ideas I’ve laid out before. Some of them I’m just going ahead and doing on my own. Some of them do require Congress to do something. And one way we can start is by Congress passing a budget that reflects our need to invest in our young people. I know the budgets aren’t the most interesting topic for a Friday afternoon, even in a school where young people like math. And, by the way, I just sat in on a lesson called Real World Math, which got me thinking whether it’s too late to send Congress here, for a remedial course.

Although he is always the smartest man in the room,

The competition isn’t what it used to be

even Bo will admit that math is not his strong suit. Butt he’s so smart, he doesn’t even need math to noodle through problems.

Breaking: Squirrel Eats Oreo, Blows Dog Whistle!

RACIST ALERT! GOP leader Pete Sessions (R-Texas) disses El Presidente, right in the White House! Right to his face! Just because he’s BLACK!

Oh look! A squirrel! And an Oreo!

Well, for a minute there it looked like we had found that racist new squirrel we’ve been looking for. Sadly, it turned out that the allegation was…unsustainable. Okay, maybe it was a lie, butt nice try!

The latest Washington “he-said-she-said” is so convoluted you’ll get whiplash trying to follow along, so allow me to attempt to lay it out flat.

Obamacare: We’re Committed to Better Mistakes Tomorrow

“If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.” – P.J. O’Rourke

Okay, that used to be funny. Before it was hijacked by the Teahadists and used to hold hostages and make ransom demands.

Butt now I see that sticker shock is starting to stun people all across America, even journalists:

The “Nobody Knows Nuttin’” Defense

That’s right. Nobody knows nuttin’ about the Obamcare fiasco. That’s usually what happens when everyone’s in charge butt nobody’s responsible.

Big Guy was given the royal mushroom treatment; which is fine because he’s more of a big picture guy anyway.

Speaking to CNN, Kathleen Sebelius, the country's Health and Human Services Secretary, said Mr Obama first learned of them 'the first couple of days after' the site went live on October 1.

When asked if he knew of any of the website's problems before that, she replied: 'No, sir.'

KITD – FS

Kathypotomous herself was unaware of the the program “glitches” because she is more of an oversight person than a detail gal. And so she just closed her eyes, clicked her ruby red heels together and HOPED it would work.

Obamacare: on Cue, to the Rescue

I know what you’re thinking: it’s the perfect allegory, right?

Woman falls ill, “Big Healthcare.Gov” is there to catch her as she’s falling. Oh, and BTW, her name is “Karmel” – how perfect is that!!

Not too dark, not too light: just right!

A little too perfect, say the usual critics (Tea Party Anarchists). They’re off, spinning their usual, unfounded, conspiracy theories. You know how they plot their little scenarios by now: they’ll claim that BO’s Big Brains and otherwise useful idiots advisors wrote the fake faint right into the script so Barry can come to her aid.

As they say, just because it’s a conspiracy theory doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Here’s the inside scoop, butt don’t tell any bloggers or talking heads on the radio, they’ll try to make it sound so, uh, so…dishonest.