Obamanomalies: the Relativity of Giant Sucking Black Holes

You’ve all heard of anomalies, right?

anomaly (plural anomalies)

1. A deviation from a rule or from what is regarded as normal.
2. Something or someone that is strange or unusual.
3. (sciences) Any event or measurement that is out of the ordinary
4. (astronomy) Any of various angular distances.
5. (biology) A defect or malformation.
6. (quantum mechanics) A failure of a classical symmetry due to quantum corrections.

Black holes are considered a classic anomaly:

Today I would like to suggest a new Wiktionary entry that I made up. I think it will go a long way towards addressing the current unsettled, disconcerted sentiments of many Americans:

obamanomoly (plural obamanomalies)

1. A deviation from the truth or from what is regarded as true.
2. Something or someone that lies in strange or unusual ways.
3. (sciences) A lie about an event or measurement that is out of the ordinary
4. (astronomy) Distortions of various angular distances.
5. (biology) A lie that creates a defect or malformation.
6. (quantum mechanics) A lie which results in a failure of a classical symmetry due to quantum “corrections.”

As you can see, an obamanomoly is very much like an anomaly, only created from complete lies rather than someone’s - undoubtedly biased - idea of “normal.”

Today I’m going to explore the science behind obamanomalies and show how it explains the election of Obama and the subsequent implementation of Obamacare.

Stay with me, as this is going to get technical; butt I promise, there will be no math. For the usual reasons.

To begin our analysis we must first understand the concept of “singularity” which isn’t a whole lot easier than math:

A gravitational or spacetime singularity is a location where the quantities used to measure the gravitational field become infinite in a way that does not depend on the coordinate system. These quantities are the scalar invariant curvatures of spacetime, which includes a measure of the density of matter

See what I mean? Let me try to simplify:

The gravitational attraction becomes so strong that the velocity at which an object would have to move to escape the gravitational field equals the speed of light. Since the speed of light, according to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, is the maximum possible speed, nothing, not even light, can escape the black hole once it enters the event horizon.

Or, in layman’s terms, it’s a big black hole that sucks everything in. As Einstein on Line puts it, rather poetically, I think:

“Unfortunately it is not so easy to give a precise meaning to what this means. In other physical theories, singularities are defined as some kind of "pathological behavior" that takes place on an orderly stage provided by space and time.” Concluding: “A spacetime singularity is said to occur wherever a freely falling particle suddenly pops out of existence!”

So that sounds encouraging.

Anyway,  in order to analyze the creation of Obamanomalies, we’ll focus our attention on the singularities that are included in the “Event Horizon” that most interests us here: the Birth of Obama (BO). The BO singularity includes both the “natural” birth of Barry as well as the metaphysical birth of Barry - when he emerged from his chrysalis, seemingly out of nowhere, to run for President:

The pupa emerges from its chrysalis

The BO singularity occurred in the midst of the American political landscape exactly as the Big Bang Theory (also a singularity) invented the universe: with a lot of noise and accompanied by a huge sucking vortex. As predicted by Einstein’s theory of general relativity, the BO Event Horizon was infinitely dense and nothing could escape it’s gravitational pull. The MSM and LoFo voters were helplessly drawn into it's black hole.

Science can not accurately predict what will be found inside the black hole, but sensor readings confirm the Second Law of Thermodynamics prediction that it is unstable and moves rapidly from order to disorder (see “entropy”  as well as “Healthcare.gov”).

The new concept of “obamanomalies” could go a long way towards explaining what, up till now, have been dismissed as mere anomaloies; such as this famous “situation room” photo taken at the time BO whacked Osama.

Additionally, the addition of “obamanomalies” to the lexicon might even allow us to explain such seemingly unexplainable absurdities as the new requirement for men to have health insurance policies that include maternity benefits.

Unfortunately, due to an anomaly in the space time continuum, I’m afraid that’s all the time I have for today’s science lesson.

Don’t worry though, there’s much more. To be continued…

Linked By: Chilling the most on Ace of Spades HQ, and Dawn Compton, Michael Guay on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

VOTE FOR FAUSTA!!!

UPDATE: ELECTION IS TOMORROW

11-05-2013

If you are able to vote in the Princeton, NJ Council election,

PLEASE round up your friends and family and

VOTE for FAUSTA RODRIGUEZ WERTZ!!!

Fausta is a Republican, running against 2 Democrats for 2 available seats on the Princeton Council. The candidate profiles are here. Most of you know Fausta from her blog, Fausta’s Blog, and her visits to my little bunker.

That is all.

I am MOTUS, and I approved this message.

Obama Glo-bull Warming 2.0

Okay which one of you guessed global warming is the next squirrel? Sara B?  You win!

We lose.

Cleverly disguised as an “Executive Order” Big Guy, with the stroke of a pen, “dicktates” the following:

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, and in order to prepare the Nation for the impacts of climate change by undertaking actions to enhance climate preparedness and resilience, it is hereby ordered as follows: …

Hehe; that’s really a good one! “By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution” - since Article I Section I unambiguously states that the President doesn’t have the power to order that state and local building codes be changed to address “climate impacts” and that infrastructure  projects be “made more resilient.”

Even the Brits are laughing at us.

Obama's plan would be put in place through executive order, bypassing Congress, which has stalemated over climate legislation in recent years.

Butt as I understand it, as long as everyone just looks the other way – “oh look a squirrel!” – Barry will be able to dictate things that, up till now, only Congress could dictate: what kind of  light bulbs you can use to illuminate your Congressionally mandated low volume toilet.

New mandated low-volume toilets illuminated exclusively with solar powered lights

Pretty funny, huh?

“The impacts of climate change — including an increase in prolonged periods of excessively high temperatures, more heavy downpours, an increase in wildfires, more severe droughts, permafrost thawing, ocean acidification and sea-level rise — are already affecting communities, natural resources, ecosystems, economies and public health across the nation,” the presidential order said. “The federal government must build on recent progress and pursue new strategies to improve the nation’s preparedness and resilience.”

Hey wait; I thought Barry promised to make the oceans recede!?

Well, maybe his new task force is how he intends to do that:

The White House is also setting up a task force of state and local leaders (All Democrats, aside from the Republican governor from the U.S. territory of Guam) to offer advice to the federal government.

Oh good! Moonbeam made the team!

Goodness, I don’t think this is very timely since it now looks like we may be moving into another mini-ice age.

First the bad news:

Lockwood thinks there is now a 25 per cent chance of a repetition of the last grand minimum, the late 17th century Maunder Minimum, when there were no sunspots for 70 years.(snip)

The Maunder Minimum coincided with the worst European winters of the little ice age, a period lasting centuries when several regions around the globe experienced unusual cooling.

…and now the good news:

But Lockwood says we should not expect a new grand minimum to bring on a new little ice age. Human-induced global warming, he says, is already a more important force in global temperatures than even major solar cycles.

snip

The precise extent to which solar cycles influence global temperatures is still debated, including whether the recent decline may have helped cause the current hiatus in the pace of global warming.

Hmmm. Funny,isn’t it, how natural solar system activity can explain a decrease in global warming, butt not an acceleration?

Wow! That could have a “chilling” effect!

Anyway, all you need to know is that Big Guy is shouldering the awesome responsibility of imposing the accepted precepts of global warming including the the rationing of CO₂ on all you little people who are too stupid or too selfish to do the right thing without being coerced into it. Just like with Obamacare:

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, and in order to prepare the Nation for the mandatory use of new, green, low-flow toilets, I order the following:

The operative instruction: light a match

Linked By: Oregon Tea Party, and Linda LaFianza, Clint Counts, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sex, lies and – if you insist – let’s go to the videotape

After a month of criticism of our Obamacare Website - so full of “glitches” that we can still count on one hand the number of legit enrollees -

We’re #1 – now in 4 different colors!

we’re adopting a whole new approach.

Because apparently the old one didn’t work right

Here are the primary tactics of our new strategy:

#1: Blame the Republicans. This one nearly always works; this time they are culpable because everyone knows they’ve been trying to sabotage Obamacare from the start. And they’re racists.

#2: Blame the greedy, heartless insurance companies. They’re rotten apples. That’s why we need to get rid of them altogether. And go to a single-payer system.

#3: Advise people that the cancellation notices from their insurance companies are a feature of the Affordable Care Act, not a bug. (see “rotten apples,” above)

#4  If all else fails, employ the Clinton Nuclear defense: “Everybody lies about keeping your healthcare plan.”

…and healthcare

In case you haven’t figured it out, this new approach is intended to shift the focus away from “OBAMACARE ISN’T WORKING.”  Hey, there’s no need to shout, you’ve got our attention!

I don’t know which phony scandal we can refocus on though:

• Benghazi now that we know there were special forces on hand to help; and that the attack was tied to  the Muslim Brotherhood – who we were supporting at the time?
• The IRS phony scandal, now that we have confirmation that the IRS did, in fact, illegally give tax data on conservative groups to the FEC? 
• Or the NSA, now that we’ve ticked off every one of our foreign friends and enemies; including the Pope?

So many phony scandals to choose from, it’s hard to know which one we can use as a squirrel. Maybe “Fast and Furious.” There’s nothing new being discussed in that phony scandal right now, is there?

Perhaps we need a new squirrel of an entirely different stripe.

Butt sometimes those new squirrels end up looking more like skunks.

eeeuuuu!

Besides, we’ve already got a black and white squirrel around here that stinks a lot.

All skunks worthy of their stripes have developed a deadly stink-eye.

So maybe we’ve reached the point where we need to employ another trick from the trusty progressive playbook; time to “reframe the problem” altogether. Obamacare: it’s so big, so awesome and so grand that no one man, no one woman and no one existing Government Department of Health and Human Services could ever possibly oversee its implementation. We need to form a brand new agency with 10 more levels of oversight and review to ensure it’s successful operation.

Because the first 200 levels aren’t enough

So here’s the deal: this mess is clearly not Barry’s fault. He made it perfectly clear from the gitgo: If HE likes your healthcare plan, you can KEEP your healthcare plan. Period. And I’ve got this fresh new videotape that proves it.

So ask yourself: just whose fault is it that the do-nothing Congress passed a law that they gave to a do-everything-incompetently bureaucracy, led by a know-nothing President?

That’s a rhetorical question, so if you insist on responding, please remember to do so in the  form of a question.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Halloween 2013: The Occupation Continues – Terror Ensues

Well, we had a Halloween party this year after all. And while it was scary, as always,

the whole affair was fairly low-key

compared to past ghoulish celebrations around here:

And then there was this “secret” after party in 2009 with Johnny Depp and the entire Alice in Wonderland cast:

Lady M was festively attired in pumpkin and gray this year, as was Big Guy:

My! 2009 v. 2013; we are getting gray, aren’t we? What’s causing that?

Anyway, now I know why Chef Yosses was in the garden with Lady M the other day:

Ooooh! That’s scary!

Chef was gathering fruits and veggies for this year’s Big White Halloween treats:

Which were cute, butt not as well received as you might think. One of the little gremlins left his treats behind, along with this cryptic message:

Other than that, the party went fairly well. Although there was a bit of a scuffle at the gate when the family dressed up as the Obamas arrived. No, not the idiot in the mask and straitjacket that resulted in diversity training class for the entire hospital:

It was the Verizon Star Wars family that setoff the Secret Service’s radar detectors:

Apparently impersonating a Wookie is as politically incorrect as impersonating a black or even half-black President.

Although, it wasn’t the first time we had a Wookie at our Halloween party:

2009: Lady M dressed up as Cheetah Rivera

Fortunately we didn’t have any of these embarrassing treats that somehow slipped through our political correctness filter in past years:

We’re very sensitive to anyone wearing white hoodies.

So, in addition to the veggie treats, this year we passed out dark chocolate squirrels, Presidential M&M’s,

Maybe next year we’ll do fruitcake; always a big hit with kids too

and a special edition Presidential fruit and nut bar:

So I wrap up this year’s Halloween post with a rewind from last year’s: you may recall that we had to call off the celebration in 2012 due to issues regarding the campaign and voting fraud concerns (not enough) related to Big Guy’s upcoming reelection. Unfortunately, nobody thought to advise Pastry Chef Yosses of the cancellation until the last minute. He was pretty upset as he had been in the kitchen working on pumpkin treats all day.

What do you mean we’ve cancelled Halloween!?! I’ve been working my butt off in here!

So I’m off; I understand Lady M’s holding a special tea for the six intrepid people who broke through all the “glitches” and managed to actually enroll in Obamacare last month! We love an excuse for a good tea around here. And each attendee will each receive a special, limited edition collector’s copy of the original CGI contract for development of the Obamacare website:

Not to exceed $800,000,000.00...or so.

So if you haven’t managed to successfully sign up for Obamacare yet, please keep those cards, letters, phone calls, tweets and keystrokes coming. Eventually you, too, might get to enroll. Maybe tomorrow.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and betyangelo on Weasel Zippers, and Mike Rodriguez, Abby L Call, Scott Wayt on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Russian Bears, Chinese Lions and U.S. (Paper) Tigers. Oh My!!

It’s official. Yay! We’re #2!! 

As planned, America has ceded our number one power position to the rest of the world. Which is only fair - we’ve been #1 for a very long time now - it’s someone else’s turn. We don’t want to be accused of hogging world leadership. After all it’s not as if we’re better than anyone else, right?

“I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect that the Brits believe in British exceptionalism, and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism.”  - Barack Obama, 2009

I'll take that as an affirmative response.

So Big Guy must be delighted to learn that he’s been bumped to the number two slot on Forbes’ “World’s Most Powerful People” list behind Vlad the Putinator.

“You’ve been dismissed, little man from America. Now go.”

Better yet, by the time BO leaves office (should he chose to do so) in 2016, America will have also ceded the “world’s largest economy”  crown to China. So yay! again: we’re #2 economically too.

“Oh, but it’s all right, it’s all right
For we’ve lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the road
We’re traveling on
I wonder what went wrong
I can’t help it, I wonder what’s gone wrong”

“American Tune”: Paul Simon

And don’t think for a minute that these these things just happen – no sir! Big Guy has been working on passing these tedious torches to someone else ever since he first arrived in Washington to “fundamentally transform” the country:

The Obama administration has raised taxes on the top income rates, implemented Obamacare, added millions to the disability and food stamp roles, grown the size of the federal work force, run up the national debt, and vastly expanded the money supply, along with insuring near zero interest rates. Are there any historical examples where these redistributive efforts have brought long-term tranquility and prosperity?" – Victor Davis Hansen, seriously, read the whole thing. (h/t Doug Ross)

In case you don’t have time to read the entire article, that’s a rhetorical question.Russian Bears,Chinese Lions, U.S. Paper Tigers. Oh my!!

Anyway, that’s all well and good as far as it goes. We’re all about spreading the power around. Butt when Lady M finds out that she’s been toppled to #2 as well, I fear there will be some fur flying around here.

“Cuz when mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

I’ll have to make room in my little bunker for Little Bo and Sunny until this one blows over.

And it’s not as if MO’s been bested by someone with creds like Beyoncé – which might be on some levels understandable – no, it’s that do-nothing skank, Kim Kardashian!

“Kim Kardashian is more influential than Michelle Obama and should be on the cover of Vogue.”

That’s right, Kanye West just said that his baby mama is more influential than Lady M! Just exactly how LoFo does Kanye think the LoFos are?

There’s more:

"There's no way Kim Kardashian shouldn't be on the cover of Vogue. She's like the most intriguing woman right now. She's got Barbara Walters calling her like everyday."

He has a similar view of his own place in the sphere of influence:

"And collectively, we're the most influential with clothing. No one is looking at what [President Barack Obama] is wearing," he said. "Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day."

You don’t really want to see that Instagram, do you?  You do? Okay, butt for the record, this is against my better judgment:

Kimmy, in her un-retouched selfie

Kanye, the King of Kool, explained why he thinks his big butted woman should be featured on the cover of American Vogue:

"There's a wall of classism that we are breaking through," he said.

Bad news, Kanye: Anna Wintour has already broke through that old school wall of “classism.” Twice.

Anyway, Kanye said he doesn't care if some people find his comments controversial:

"That's not my concern," he said. "My concern is doing God's work, and he'll work everything else out."

Here’s a top 10 list of rapper and baby daddy Kanye West “doing God’s work.” It begins with his accusing Taylor Swift of stealing the “Year’s Best Video” award from Beyoncé, and ends with his announcement that he has to use the little boy’s room – on national TV.

I see that some of you have been posting comments over on the NY Daily News article under pseudonyms. Such as this one, left by “kiapua:”

“the only thing kim and michelle have in common is their hoochie-mama clothing style , on kim it's okay cause she's the porn queen as for the First Lady, someone with some classic taste/simple-decency needs to dress that woman on her world tours. “

Which prompted this outraged response from “janeytNEW:”

“Excuse you, Michelle does not wear "hoochie mama" clothing.”

She doesn’t wear it like Kimmy does, that’s for sure.

“They're (sic) clothing styles are as different and far apart as East and West.”

 

East, East and West, West

 

“Mrs. Obama just wears alot (sic) of sleeveless clothing. She doesn't expose her breasts, her dresses are not short, and she wears classy classic stylish clothing.”

 

Yeah, well, whatever

So, as you can see, they have nothing in common.

Aside from being “as different as east and west”

 

Well, I’ve got to run. I’ve got a whole bunch’a stuff to do to get ready for Halloween. And no – there’s no truth to the rumor that Lady M’s going to dress up like the Great Pumpkin this year.

 

That’s just our annual harvest from the Organic Garden to Good and Evil. I don’t know where the ghoul came from – the one behind Lady M I mean.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Kathleen Franklin Avant, Candace Crider, Scott Wayt on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network