Happy Birthday MO! We can’t possibly thank you enough for all you’ve done!

Happy Birthday card from AARP: Best wishes and sincere thanks for all you’ve done for us!

You’ve probably noticed: the photo embargo, backed by the full faith, credit and retaliatory power of the U.S. government, was in full force for Lady M’s big, historic, Fab Fifty bash last night. So it’s unlikely that you will see much of the actual party that you paid for.

The photo-Gestapo gendarmes were out in full force. As of this morning they had confiscated “detained” over 350 cameras and smartphones that will be scanned for data by the NSA before and if they are returned to their rightful owners. Hopefully that will  prevent a recurrence of the release of embarrassing photos like those that emerged of last year’s celebrity studded inaugural after-party at the Big White. (See the end of yesterday’s post for an example of one of those embarrassing pictures).

Here’s a sampling from last year’s affairs de state of the type of photos that appear on the innertubes if you just let anyone snap them: (more can be seen here)

 John Mayer and Katy Perry (aka the Walking Dead) at the White House after-party with Manuela Testolini, left, and India and Eric Benet right.

Lady Gaga in the White House should be considered embarrassing if itself, butt performing with Tony Bennett seems to make it somehow worse.

Overhead shot of Lady M dancing to Beyonce's Single Ladies with India Benet

So I think you can see the wisdom behind the photo bomb ban. Aside from that little wrinkle though, the “Sips, Chips and Dips with Obama’s Cripps” 50th birthday bash was a huge success! We did run out of Cristal early on because Jay-z was pouring it all over place:

No problem; we just broke out the Dom and kept rollin’ along.

As you know, Big Guy gave MO an early birthday present that included an extra 10 day vacation in Hawaii [ed. and some new cheeks and eyebrows],

and followed that up by throwing last night’s really, really big party with everyone who’s anyone (or anyone who made a generous contribution to our Organizing for the Transformation of America effort).

Because I know you’ve been wondering what you gave Lady M for her birthday - and because you’re going to be asked to chip in to cover its cost  later -  I got her to pose with it for you. And it’s the perfect gift because, as MO told People magazine: "Women should have the freedom to do whatever they need to do to feel good about themselves."

The American Express Card Black Card: because membership has its privileges: in this case no credit limits and no expiration date.

Linked By: Clarice Feldman, and Jon Wesley Turner, Lib Jones, Clint Counts, Abby L Call, Susana Patrick, Rocky Tom Rockwell on facebook, and Chris R on For What It’s Worth, andBlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Education of Barack Obama: The Devil’s in the Details.

The country’s former newspaper of record, the New York Times, saw a big blip in their circulation yesterday when it ran with an above the fold story about Lady M’s half-century mark:

On Saturday night, Mrs. Obama will celebrate her 50th birthday (which falls on Friday) with dancing and sweets throughout the state floor of the White House, drawing the nation’s attention away from her husband, at least for an evening. Guests will sip fine American wines, consume delicate macarons and be entertained — the expectation is by Beyoncé.

It was a wonderful, humanizing piece:

She has perfected a mean forehand, is working on her yoga poses, dishes with girlfriends over brussels sprouts and dirty martinis (one olive)… Michelle Obama is in many ways the embodiment of the contemporary, urban, well-heeled middle-aged American woman. She likes to take “me time,”

explaining how she’s cobbled together an ordinary life for herself by doing ordinary things like shopping incognito at Target and going to the girls soccer games to chide fathers for not bringing an adequate supply of water to keep their wee ones properly hydrated.

Mrs. Obama lightheartedly chided him. “She said, ‘What kind of water bottle is that?’”

MO to the hydration rescue: You need much bigger jugs

This of course is not the kind of news that once constituted the New York Times lead story. It would seem that the old gray lady (the NYT, not MO) has turned into something of a ratings whore. Not unlike MO’s husband.

Yesterday Big Guy took to the stage again to explain his evolving position on the NSA spying on Americans. You may recall that he was against it before he was for it, as he explains here, in 2008, while running for his first historic presidency:

“I will provide our intelligence and law enforcement agencies with the tools they need to track and take out the terrorists without undermining our Constitution and our freedom.”

“That means no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens. No more national security letters to spy on citizens who are not suspected of a crime. No more tracking citizens who do nothing more than protest a misguided war. No more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient. That is not who we are.”

 

“No more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient. That is not who we are.” !?!

Let the record reflect that - as it turns out - that’s precisely who the Won-We’ve-Been-Waiting-For is. With pen and iPhone we not only ignore inconvenient laws, we now change them on a whim too. Butt that’s another story.

Getting back to BO’s much anticipated NSA speech on warrantless wiretapping: he threaded the needle so well that it’s unclear now whether he’s for it or against it. Or, as Ed Henry put it “ he stressed he’s heard all sides of the debate before deciding he’s not ready to decide.”

As usual, in trying to please everybody, he pleased nobody.

Not that the reviews were all negative; Charles Krauthammer called it “the best use of Obamas’s rhetorical powers of dazzling with very little content since the ‘08 campaign.” Saying that the well crafted speech was “90% smoke and mirrors.” (I disavow any participation in this old trick: as you know I’ve been at Sundance.)

Butt back to the NSA speech for just a minute. Everyone from Rand Paul:

"I think what I heard is that if you like your privacy you can keep it," Paul zinged on CNN following the president's address. Going after the president's reference to the Revolutionary War, he poked further: "Paul Revere was warning us that the British were coming, not that the Americans were coming."

to the New York Times:

In overhauling the nation’s spy programs, President Obama vowed on Friday that he “will end” the bulk telephone data program that has caused so much consternation — “as it currently exists.”

The caveat is important. Although Mr. Obama imposed some new conditions on the program, the National Security Agency, for the time being at least, will continue to maintain and tap into its vast catalog of telephone data of tens of millions of Americans until someone can think of another way to do the same thing.

seems to feel that Big Guy didn’t really say much of anything. I think everyone overlooked the most critical line in the speech however:

“the challenge is getting all the details right and that is not simple.”

At first I was HOPE-full, thinking that Big Guy had finally learned something from the whole Obamacare implementation fiasco. Butt in the next breath, he punted the details off to others, so I guess not.

Got to run: Have to hitch my ride back to D.C. from Sundance and make sure my batteries are completely recharged for tonight’s big “Sips and Chips with Obama’s Cripps” birthday party. Because as you may recall from our last inaugural after-party at the Big White, anything can happen. And it’s my job to make sure you only see what’s fit to print.

“President Obama (photographed hugging a guest at the party)and his wife Michelle hosted an extremely private star-studded after-party at the White House after the Inaugural.” (Photo: IBTimes)

After all, somebody has to do the job that the New York Times will no longer do.

Linked By: American Digest, and Stealth Magnolia, and BadBlue, and Mary Kessler Raymundo, Patricia Redd Dobbs, Abby L Call, Doris Fritsche Bergmann, Susana Patrick, Clint Counts on facebook, and @TurdBurglestein, @ChristopherMSm3 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Regardless of what Dear Leader says, DON”T EAT THE PEAS!

 

Peas in Our Time

Having made an impassioned pitch for soft diplomacy rather than strong sanctions against Iran:

“My preference is for peace and diplomacy, and this is one of the reasons why I’ve sent a message to Congress that now is not the time for us to impose new sanctions; now is the time for us to allow the diplomats and technical experts to do their work. We will be able to monitor and verify whether or not the interim agreement is being followed through on, and if it is not, we’ll be in a strong position to respond. But what we want to do is give diplomacy a chance and give peace a chance.”

Big Guy again made a strong push for a nuclear-free world and peace in our time.

Here’s Thomas Lifson’s translation:

…the problems with Iran are due to United States intransigence. If only we weren't so imperialistic, so rich, so infidel, there wouldn't be a problem.

I’m guessing Harvey Weinstein, that lovable little fuzzball, would agree whole-heartedly with Big Guy’s plan for solving all the problems in the world by making sure that only the bad guys get their hands on guns. 

Harvey “Goebbels” Weinstein

It’s an interesting theory not yet proved anywhere in the world, butt apparently we’re going to try it one more time with Iran and keep our fingers crossed. Despite the fact that Iran has already declared victory.

I don’t think Harvey knows how it will work out either, butt that’s not going to stop him and Meryl Streep from making a movie (The Senator’s Wife) that will do to the NRA (and by proxy, the Second Amendment) what Jane Fonda and another scary movie did to the Nuclear power industry.

Scary movies: for those times when only fear will move your agenda forward.

Harvey is not an absolutist on the gun issue though; in fact, he once talked about doing another movie in which the Jews defended themselves during the Holocaust. So, as Emily Miller explained, his nuanced position is that “guns are necessary for self-defense, but only in other countries, during genocides and if the weapon is not personally owned.”

Since he’s a movie mogul who majored in film making, not history, who made his money by making films filled with guns and violence, he didn’t have much time to study history. So he probably forgot that the German government kept a national gun registry that made confiscation of the Jews guns relatively easy. I guess we’ll have to wait for the movie to see how the Jews defended themselves.

Big Guy is giving a speech later this morning explaining how we’re planning to replace the good guys’ (that’s us, so far) guns with advanced eavesdropping capabilities. Pretty sure I know how that movie ends. Anyway, he’s going to ask Congress to “deliberate on the appropriate boundaries” for the phone records collection. And if he doesn’t like their answer, he will employ his pen and phone negotiation strategy to dick-tate the correct path to action.

 

Grand Republic of Obama’s SchutzStaffel calls its meeting to order:

 

Eat your own damn peas!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @batfreight on twitter, and Abby L Call on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

MOTUS Gets Mail: The Secrets to Michelle Obama’s “Signature Look”

Since Lady M is back from her “me-time” with the girls and looking all “refreshed” and foxy – all without any of my special effects:

Since she’s doing so well without me I decided to hang out here at the Sundance Festival until I’m needed back at the Big White for “The Party” of the half-century this Saturday. So I took the opportunity to catch up on my email.  Look at this fascinating message I found in my inbox:

Hi MOTUS,
I thought you may be interested in this graphic that celebrates our fashionable First Lady Michelle Obama, in honor of her upcoming 50th birthday this week.

The dynamic infographic includes fashion highlights from Michelle's reign as FLOTUS so far, tributes to other stylish First Ladies that came before her, and easy steps the everyday woman can take to get Michelle's signature style for cheap.

My first thought of course was: have these people ever even visited my website? Obviously not. Butt nevertheless, they’ve put a lot of work into this effort and it occurred to me: could there be a better way to honor Lady M’s first, historic, mid-century birthday  than to mark it with a retrospective of her historic frocks, boobbelts, squirt flowers, shower curtains and mini-me cardigans? I didn’t think so either. THEN, on top of all that, they threw in a “FLOTUS vs Ann Romney Throwdown,”!!! All of a sudden, this feature turned into a big f-ing deal!!!

Don’t quit ‘till you get to the very end, because following the “5 Steps to Get the Michelle Obama Look For Less” is my exclusive poll: “The Most Important Secret to Lady M's Signature Look Is.”

You’re gonna’ see all of the uh… ASSets that made Lady M the “Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ the whole planet had been waiting for! I’ve cut and cropped some of the more important parts of the pitch for you. Butt if you want to see the whole shebang, including the special effects, you can find it here. Just be sure to come back to vote!

I feel compelled to mention, this is legit - which is what makes it so special – as they say, you can’t make this stuff up. Well, unless you’re me.

The Intro:

The Evolution of a Fashion Icon and Busy Mom ™:

 

 I really should have released my paper doll edition of these classics.

The Throwdown – Who will Win???:

 

Hint: the white wife lost

Lady M is Money in the Bank:

 

 

Can You Fill Lady M’s Shoes???:

 

 

Finally, 5 Steps to Get the Michelle Obama Look for Less:

(which is the whole point of the outletshoppers.com MO promotion)

 

And while all these retrospectives are nice, I just need to point out that we can’t rest on our past laurels.

Even Lady M has acknowledged that “she's always felt that her life is ‘ever-evolving’ and she doesn't have the right to ‘just sit on my talents or blessings.””

As we all know, MO has talents and blessings to spare

Butt credit where credit is due: the people who put this great piece together have sooo captured Lady M’s signature styles. Which one do you think is her primary signature look? Let’s find out:

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Nancy JustNancy, Sharon Cox, Abby L Call, Nancy JustNancy on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Amerika’s First, Historic, Community Organizer In Chief: With a Bullhorn

What’s more dangerous than a community organizer with a bullhorn?

 

A community organizer with a phone.

Hey guy!

…and a bat.

Or, worst of all, a community organizer with a pen.

“We’re not just waiting for legislation, I’ve got a pen and I can use it to sign executive orders”

America is no longer led by a mere president; now have our own Community Organizer in Chief. With his own community action organizing groups:

And governing from Saul Alinsky’s handbook of time tested principles of transformational community action:

RULE 1: “Power is not only what you have, but what the enemy thinks you have.”

RULE 2: “Never go outside the expertise of your people.”

…in case you hadn’t noticed, economics is not one of our people’s expertise. Which is why they think unemployment creates jobs and reduces the deficit.

RULE 3: “Whenever possible, go outside the expertise of the enemy.”

…Republicans only care about the rich! They’re heartless!

RULE 4: “Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.”

RULE 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.”

…especially when delivered by your Community Organizer in Chief.  First, he takes on the GOP:

then, teabaggers. Teabaggers? Really!?

RULE 6: “A good tactic is one your people enjoy.”

RULE 7: “A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag.”

…so you need to inject something new and fun:

RULE 8: “Keep the pressure on. Never let up.”

Because…global warming!

RULE 9: “The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.”

…with the exception of Obamacare. Which highlights why community organizers should never be allowed to govern in the first place.

RULE 10: [Butt] “If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive.”

Need I say more?

RULE 11: “The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.” Never let the enemy score points because you’re caught without a solution to the problem.

…take Obamacare for example. After cramming it down everyone’s throat only to find out it isn’t working…well, change the rules! Push back the dates. Solve the problems with your Community Organizer in Chief pen.

RULE 12: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”

This one comes natural to anyone with community organizing potential:

make your opponents out to be incompetent:

evil:

stupid:

privileged, rich, white and heterosexual male:

The later, of course, being the worst thing you can possibly be. Because in the rhetoric of community organizing, which is all about rabble rousing and fomenting discontent among all of special identity groups, the rich white hetero guy is going to be on the wrong side on every issue.

Never give a bully a bullhorn and a bully pulpit. Bad things happen.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Andrea Shea-King, and @TurdBurglestein @rkuejack, @Standlow, @MrsVerCrouse on twitter, and Larry Wallenmeyer, Mireille Buser, Far North Dallas Tea Party Patriots, Candace Crider, Abby L Call, Sandy Peterson, Annie Brown on facebook, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network