#Who’s My Little Golubushka?

As we head into the Memorial Day weekend celebrations, there are a lot of awkward news stories out there that aren’t getting much coverage, thank goodness. This one, for example, about the leader of the once-free and richest nation on earth becoming the butt of jokes – in Russian no less!

“I dismiss you, golubushka, you may leave now.”

Putin made the comments during an on-stage interview at the St. Petersburg International Economic Forum as CNBC host Geoff Cutmore was telling him Obama had 'accused you, as you know, of untruths when it comes to supporting some of the separatists groups...'

At that point, Putin interrupted Cutmore to make fun of president Obama, which drew laughter from the audience.

‘Who is he to judge, seriously?’ Putin asked, according to a translator. ‘If he wants to judge people, why doesn't he get a job in court somewhere?’

Meanwhile, BO was off promoting what the White House calls its "travel and tourism agenda" by visiting the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY.

“Oh look! There’s some tourists! Why aren’t they wearing shorts?”

While there he gave a speech about, what else, those famous “Mom jeans” he wore when he “threw” his first pitch as President:

The windup…the pitch! Look at that form!!

By the way, this is Putin’s idea of “travel and tourism:”

The visit the Baseball Hall of Fame was a convenient business stop on the way to Chicago to glad-hand some hometown one-percenters while blaming his failure to complete his transformation of Amerika on the Constitution, which he’d also like to fundamentally transform:

President Obama is taking a swipe at the Founding Fathers, blaming his inability to move his agenda on the “disadvantage” of having each state represented equally in the Senate.

At a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night, Mr. Obama told a small group of wealthy supporters that there are several hurdles to keeping Democrats in control of the Senate and recapturing the House. One of those problems, he said, is the apportionment of two Senate seats to each state regardless of population.

Lady M was busy last week,too, earning her weekend vacay time by making some awkward observations at the International Education Roundtable:

Those knees could use an aspirin.

Michelle Obama dropped by a roundtable of experts focused on international education Thursday morning and used the occasion to speak out again about the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by the terrorist group Boko Haram. Seated in the center of a conference table with 14 people that her office described as international education experts,  the first lady said that “what has been going on in Nigeria is a tragic reminder” of the need for educating women and girls.

Although I know Lady M was trying to use this platform to advance her take on the #BringOurGirlsHome campaign, most people see both of these situations more as  “tragic reminders” of how dangerous and misogynistic Islamo-fascists are.

Continuing with her talking point:

Right now today, there are millions and millions of girls around the world who are not in school,” Obama said. “And it’s not because they don’t want to be in school. It’s because they don’t have the opportunity.”

Actually, you don’t have to go around the world to find millions of girls who are not in school. We’ve got millions of our own who have dropped out because they’ve been punished with a baby after Plan A and B failed. And now they are de fatso victims of discrimination.

While nobody is technically preventing these girls in America from going to school - assuming they have Moms or Grandmas willing to provide daycare for their babies, as colicky babies are such a distraction in number bonding classes - apparently there is a form of soft discrimination against girls with babies, preventing them from going to high school.

Pregnancy is the #1 reason girls drop out of school.  Approximately 70% of teenage girls who give birth leave school.  More than any other group of high school dropouts, girls who leave due to pregnancy report that they would have stayed in school if they had received greater support from the adults at school.

And this is, clearly, racist:

Data from the Centers for Disease Control shows that in the more affluent Issaquah-Sammamish area, the birth rate for girls age 15 to 17 is 1.6 per 1000, while in less affluent Burien it’s 16 times that at 27 per 1000.  In Northeast Seattle the rate is 1.7 per 1000, but in Southeast Seattle it’s 18 per 1000.  This stark disparity reflects a trend we have been seeing for several decades: Pregnancy among White and Asian students has steadily decreased, while pregnancy rates for American Indian/Alaskan Native, Hispanic and Black students have been unchanged.  Some studies suggest that in the Hispanic community 1 in 2 teenage girls become pregnant, in contrast to the national average of 1 in 4.

Good news though, apparently we are taking measures to help overcome this illegal discrimination by giving teen moms the recognition they so rightly deserve in the high school yearbook:

"Student parents don't have time to go to homecoming and do all that because they have a kid, so they don't really get to be seen on the yearbook, so we thought it would be a good idea to put them on the page where they could be seen."

Still, I don’t get it; 30 years of Progressive Sex Education, and this is the best we can do?

No wonder Big Guy is so concerned about giving every girl free birth control, by any means necessary; being punished with a baby has life-long consequences.

 

Plan B, for when Plan A, which you forgot to make, fails.

And just in case you don’t think that discriminating against teen Moms is illegal, let me set you straight:

Discrimination against pregnant students is strictly prohibited by Title IX – the federal law banning sex discrimination in public schools – but it is widespread nonetheless.

No, seriously; that’s what the article says. I just report, you deride. And while I don’t know exactly how, I’m pretty sure this illegal discrimination is part of the Republicans’ War on Women.

As she closed her remarks, Obama said the issue of educating women and girls internationally is important to her and she plans to work on it long after leaving the White House.

A woman seated to the first lady’s right remarked: “We don’t doubt that we’re going to be hearing from you.”

The room erupted in gentle laughter.

Funny, that’s exactly the same reaction that Putin got after his comment about Big Guy, although there it  was referred to as “chuckling.”

 “ Ha ha. You know I’m just joking you, my little golubushka, right?”

And don’t even get me started on the phony scandals that the pesky right-wing media continues to yammer away at. Pace yourself, we’re going to be here all weekend, folks, before the Summer Sabbatical begins.

Linked By: iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and @batfreight, @Standlow on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

They All Look Like Game Show Hosts to Me.

Let the record reflect that, having concluded that passing the bill in order to find out what’s in the bill is no longer optimal, the socialist Senator from Vermont has initiated a new set of Democratic rules for passing legislation:

“Some of us are old-fashioned enough to know that maybe folks in the Senate might want to know what is in the bill before we voted on it.”

“But before we vote on legislation, it might be a good idea to understand the full implications of that legislation.”

Apparently too many senators are still busy trying to find out what’s in the Affordable Care Act (currently 8 1/2"  x 11" x 8' including regulations) that they voted for way back on December 24th of 2009. It’s hard to catch up as new regulations are being written daily and Big Guy keeps using his pen and his phone to “rewrite” the law.

Obamacare regulations as of May, 2013 and still growing daily

So I think it’s perfectly understandable why they didn’t have time to read a 3 page bill holding the VA accountable for the mistreatment of our war veterans prior to leaving for their Memorial Day holiday. As I mentioned the other day, Progs don’t recognize irony unless Jon Stewart points it out to them.

Since Bernie and his colleagues deep-sixed Marco Rubio’s Veterans Affairs Management Accountability Act I decided maybe I should try to help out. I figured a hashtag that could just cut to the chase in 140 characters or less might not be too much for our busy senators to read, so I just tweeted this in hopes of moving the legislation along:

BS "Read the bill before voting"??? #FireTheIncompetentBoobs http://t.co/z1Hg72Of94 #MOTUS @TwitchyTeam http://t.co/zZXIs7u1IP

— MOTUS (@MOTUSmirror) May 23, 2014

So I figure if I can get my tweet trending, Marco’s bill to hold the incompetent boobs accountable might just manage to get passed when the gang of boobs get back from vacation.

Senators Sanders, Reid, Franken,and Blumenthal: They all look like game show hosts to me.

It may not be as easy as you’d think:

Sanders, who chairs the Senate Committee on Veterans Affairs, has been one of the most outspoken defenders of the VA against allegations of misconduct. When asked about reports of multiple deaths related to long wait times at the VA healthcare system, Sanders told CNN: “People die every day.” 

I guess that explains what happened in Benghazi as well: “People die due to widely unviewed “U-tube” ideos every day.” Our heroes deaths could have been due to a bunch of guys just out for a walk one night who decided to go kill some Americans, or, they might have died because a bunch of incompetent boobs in the VA shirked their responsibilities. What difference, at this point, does it make? Right? Why do we need more hearings?

And speaking of game show hosts, I see the tolerant left has lashed out against Pat Sajak for his crime of apostasy against the Church of Global Warming:

Maybe Game Show Host Jon Stewart will weigh in on this soon, so we’ll know if it’s funny or not.

Anyone want to start Memorial Day Weekend petitions of your own?

ADDENDUM: A little traveling music:

 “If I Ever Lose My Faith In You” by Sting

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but
If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @Standlow, @boortzbabe, @blogho, @vanna516, @janptaylor, @loisdfla, @dchrist81, @AgentInfidel, @1smtxvoice, @PatHensley14, @RobertA99554088 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

America’s Got Talent...how about voting for it for a change???

Did you happen to catch America’s big talent show yesterday?

No, I don’t mean American Idol or The Voice.  I note, however, that in both cases the white boys won, despite the fact they were not the most talented.

Talk about a war on women; the Republicans obviously found a way to suppress the votes.

Nor am I talking about the mid-morning talent show where BO demonstrated his two most awesome talents, teleprompter reading and dancing – simultaneously! Wow! When Big Guy humbly noted back in 2008 “Harry, I have a gift,” I bet even old Harry had no idea how big a gift it actually was.

The two best grins in the politics of show business:

No, I’m not talking about BO’s presser smack-down of Fox/Talk Radio’s latest phony scandal, the VA secret wait list. Once again, Big Guy demonstrated his amazing talent by performing without a net for an amazing 45 minutes He began with a brief statement followed by responding to 3 questions – without once actually having to say anything! The Presidential Exposition and Competition judging team mostly gave him his standard score of 10.0; noting the extra degree of difficulty in this performance due to the requirement that he acknowledge and incorporate a reference to his predecessor’s (George W. Bush) major contribution to today’s program. 

It requires amazing skill and focus to give credit to someone else for everything you’ve actually accomplished in the past 5 1/2 years.

 “Honest, not a smidgen of this mess is my fault.”

Butt enough about that endless pool of talent we draw upon every day to run the country. How many  phony scandal acronyms (ATF, NSA, DOJ, IRA, ACA, VA ) do we have to keep up in the air before people in this country just MoveOn.org?

Well, I’m moving on, to the real talent show I intended to talk about in the first place,  Lady M’s "Turnaround Arts" program that took place in the White House yesterday: 

Strike a Pose

The talent show included school age kids from around the country, as well as actress Sarah Jessica Parker, best known as slutty Carrie in Sex and the City: a good role model for the girls just learning how to use their, uh, talents, as well.

SJP as Carrie, with the other Mr. Big

Since she was at the White House with the country’s top fashion icon (and busy Mom™) Sarah took the opportunity to hawk her new line of stiletto heels! How patriotic is that - hawking your own line of red, white and blue shoes direct from the East Room?!

The new line of SJK stilettos, on display exclusively this week in the East Room. Available nationwide starting Memorial Day weekend!

Needless to say, the East Room was rockin’ with all this untapped talent:

I swear, if America finds any more talent we’re going to have to open a permanent nightclub in the old bowling alley downstairs.

When all the song and dance numbers were performed, and the votes counted, the winner was finally announced: and guess what!? The winner is…YOU, America! For truly recognizing the value of diversity for diversity’s sake!

A Burka, a slut, an Af-Am, a Mex-Am and a “Far Right Winger,” slightly out of the frame

And to mark the significance of this auspicious honor, Big Guy himself showed up, somehow managing to squeeze an air kiss in between his very busy schedule of not resting until he gets to the bottom of every phony scandal that Bush started.

Big Air Kiss # 8502

The First Lady rocked it out with students as they performed song and dance numbers and President Obama even stopped by for the finale.

"I just want to say … I've got talent but I wasn't invited," he joked.

Well, honestly, he “wasn’t invited” by at least part of the country, butt since he WON anyway he’s displayed his many talents for all to see on a daily basis.

Let’s spread that wealth around a little bit more.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @Standlow, @GingerMarple on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

“What’s the Worst That Can Happen?” Is That a Rhetorical Question?

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such trifling investment of facts.” - Mark Twain

This would seem a bit odd if we weren’t living in the Age of Obama: we just released over 36,000 illegal alien felons – including murderers, rapists, drug dealers and drunk/drugged drivers. Meanwhile we are considering imprisoning a 58 year old Cuban refugee who has been in the U.S. since he was nine, is a Vietnam War Vet and worked as a federal prison guard for 22 years. Go figure.

And speaking of Vietnam,

did you hear what Secretary of State John Kerry told the graduates of Boston College during his commencement address on Monday? He said that “climate change” is our most urgent problem and referred to anyone “skeptical of the Obama administration's climate claims as ‘members of the Flat Earth Society’ who are ‘risking nothing less than the future of the entire planet’ by resisting implementation of the administration's policies.” 

“If we make the necessary efforts to address this challenge – and supposing I’m wrong or scientists are wrong, 97 percent of them all wrong – supposing they are, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Which, in short, is a fairly accurate summation of not only our foreign relations policy, butt our domestic policies as well: “what’s the worst that can happen?”

If they can’t figure out the answer to that, I’d say our ruling class doesn’t have a very good imagination.

Mr. Kerry’s assessment of the current state of “climate disruption” leans heavily on the precautionary principal, a frequently misapplied notion that permits you to defy facts and logic in favor of advancing an agenda:

Environmentalists quickly faced the problem as they distorted facts and logic for their political agenda. They needed something to deny the need for facts and logic required by science and adopted the Precautionary Principle. Wikipedia says,

This principle allows policy makers to make discretionary decisions in situations where there is the possibility of harm from taking a particular course or making a certain decision when extensive scientific knowledge on the matter is lacking.

What is “extensive scientific knowledge” and how much can be “lacking”? The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) are 90 percent certain, but they examine only human causes of climate change and produce consistently incorrect climate model predictions. Physics Nobel winner Richard Feynman said,

It does not matter who you are, or how smart you are, or what title you have, or how many of you there are, and certainly not how many papers your side has published, if your prediction is wrong then your hypothesis is wrong. Period.

Well, you can read the rest for yourself if you wish. Or you can follow the advice of Jean Carré (who served in Vietnam) and go with the United Nations’ precautionary principle because, you know, what’s the worst that could happen? A huge, sucking, black hole maybe?

That’s right, the super cell over Wyoming caused by man-made global warming that is creating more extreme weather than has ever been experienced in the entire history of mankind. Why? What giant, sucking, black hole were you thinking of?

What’s the worst that can happen?

 

UPDATE: Big Guy is currently holding a press conference where he will fully implement Step 3 from yesterday’s post (Buhrack Didn’t Kill Our Vets: Somebody Else Made That Happen):

Step 3: “Didn’t I just tell you we started an investigation of ourselves? Also, we noted our outrage. I cannot possibly make any statements about the very obvious wrongdoing that occurred on our watch until the investigation we’re conducting of ourselves is completed, printed on paper and in my hands. Anything else would jeopardize the integrity of our investigation of ourselves. Is that what you want?” (h/t Mary Katherine Ham)

And no, he didn’t fire General Shinseki, he put him in charge of the “investigation of ourselves.”

Linked By: @FarNorthDallasT, @Standlow on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

#Burack Didn’t Kill Our Vets–Somebody Else made That Happen

I may have mentioned this last week, butt Big Guy’s PR firm has gone into all-out “phony scandal” mode regarding the, uh, issues at the Veterans Administration. Since even the Lady M Hashtag Resolutions™ was not sufficient to reverse public sentiment,

Scandal Obfuscating Strategy (SOS™)

we’ve been forced into all out phony scandal defense mode: SOS™ Rapid Response Team. This strategy always begins with a denial of having any knowledge of the scandal prior to hearing about it on Fox (which we never watch):

Mary Katherine Ham has the complete breakdown of the Big Brains’ (BeeBees) one-size-fits-all damage control PR process:

Step 1: “We’re just finding out about this ourselves and are as appalled as anyone over these allegations. We vow to get to the bottom of this and, if true, right this wrong swiftly and thoroughly. Nothing less than the honor of our nation and our people is at stake, and that will not come to harm on my watch.”

Step 2: “We are investigating ourselves right now to make sure we get to the bottom of this. It’s important that we get all the facts from ourselves, and in the meantime it would be inappropriate for ourselves to answer questions about the investigation we’re conducting on ourselves.”

Step 3: “Didn’t I just tell you we started an investigation of ourselves? Also, we noted our outrage. I cannot possibly make any statements about the very obvious wrongdoing that occurred on our watch until the investigation we’re conducting of ourselves is completed, printed on paper and in my hands. Anything else would jeopardize the integrity of our investigation of ourselves. Is that what you want?”

Step 3 is where ABC’s Jon Karl found himself today, on the receiving end of White House Press Secretary Jay Carney’s indignation at the mere asking of questions after the administration has expressed grave concern and started an investigation.

When even Jake Tapper finally loses patience, as he did the other day:

we need to move on to Step 4, like pronto!

Up next, Step 4: “Only crazy wingers even ask questions about stuff like this. Are you a crazy winger? Do you think it’s a grand conspiracy in which the President of the United States conspired to personally hurt veterans? Do you think that’s an appropriate question to ask?”

Step 5: Wait six months, refer to formerly outrageous scandal as phony.

Step 6: Slow walk investigation and especially the release of requested and possibly incriminating documents for a year or more, or until a court orders us to give it to Judicial Watch, which ever happens later.

Step 7: “Oh, that ‘scandal’? Dude, that was a year ago. Who’s still talking about that?”

Mind you, we only launch into this all-out PR offense after our first line of defense and deflection -  “It’s Bush’s fault” – fails. In the current case, the BeeBees tried to equate the phony VA scandal to George W. Bush’s Army scandal at Walter Reed Hospital. Except that in the Walter Reed case, profuse apologies to the soldiers affected were immediately offered, Bush directed Secretary of Defense Robert Gates to immediately  investigate and report back to him with results and resolutions, and heads rolled in short order as the top two ranking leaders in the chain of command were fired (i.e. held accountable, which is the opposite of held harmless).

Not our fault: somebody else did that.

So is it any wonder BHO is “mad as hell?” – what with 7 more of his promises exposed as hollow:

And now this is quickly escalating to a crisis because people are beginning to put their number bonds together and coming up with what looks like an equation between the quality of Veterans’ government run health care and the future quality of government run Obamacare. And not in a good way.

This on the heels of a report from Doug Ross that demonstrates just how bad our government is at what governments are famous for: administrative red tape.

Brigid M. Russell, sent out an email to her staff with a subject line celebrating “2 enrollments!” The body copy of the email read: “We have our second official FFM enrollment!

“2 enrollments! On the very first day of our 3/4 of a trillion dollar Obamacare enrollment system! High fives all around!

Yes sir, we are going to continue to try our best to spin gold around here, butt in fact all we have to work with is fleece.

Your fleece, to be precise.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @Standlow, @FarNorthDallasT, @batfreight, @ValCSilver, @GingerMarple on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

“America’s Horse”

Whew! That was a close call: another Drudge Headline (“America’s Horse”) that gave me heart palpitations. Fortunately they were talking about California Chrome.

"He loves people," Coburn said of his colt. "He loves what he does, and that's why he's America's horse. In my opinion, this horse, what he's doing for two guys that work their butts off every day just to put beans and bacon on the table.This horse has given everybody else out there the incentive to say, 'You know what? We can do it too. We can do this also.'"

Butt admit it, you were thinking it too:

Fortunately, while California Chrome was winning the Preakness, Lady M was off doing what she does best – no, not Tweeting - meeting with military families while campaigning for beleaguered Democrats: 

Facing a tough re-election bid, Louisiana Democratic Sen. May Landrieu has gone to great lengths to distance herself from President Obama — even bragging about standing up to the president for his reluctance to approve the controversial Keystone pipeline.

But apparently Landrieu’s qualms with the president don’t extend to his wife, Michelle Obama.

Mrs. Obama and Sen. Landrieu met with spouses of military veterans during a joint appearance at the National World War II Museum in New Orleans on Saturday.

And there it is! Lady M gives Sen. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana “that look” she has.

Not exactly one of Lady M’s most enthusiastic endorsements:

“I also want to recognize Senator Mary Landrieu, who is here.  Let’s give her a hand,” Mrs. Obama said to the crowd. “She has been a strong supporter of this university.”

Butt what can you expect: the woman has distanced herself as far away from Big Guy as she can – Mary, I mean.

Although MO likes to keep her distance too

In Topeka on Friday, MO ran through a dress rehearsal for Eric Holder’s weekend commencement address. They both hammered home what is sure to become a successful fund raising topic and midterm talking point: Segregation is back, and we need more Democratic policies and federal  money to reverse it…again. Inconvenient truth: Segregation 2.0, like Segregation 1.0 was brought to you by Democrats, Democratic policies and the Democratic Race Pandering Complex.

In fashion news, California Chrome is a finalist, along with MO in the 2014 Vidal Sassoon Side-Swept Bang Award:

Whew! This will be a close Won too, butt be sure to vote for your favorite as many times as you’d like, as Chicago rules are still in play, even though you can’t wear your nasal breathing strips. So we expect this to be a tight race, with the winner taking it by a nose...

The 2014 Vidal Sassoon SSB Award is Sponsored by: #SnoringStopsHere (Now available in NY)

In International News, as the search continues for Malaysian Airlines MH370, a new book claims the missing airliner was accidentally shot down by US-Thai strike fighters as part of a training drill that went horribly wrong,

and Malaysian aviation authorities released this shocking image from Kuala Lumpur International Airport security cameras reportedly showing Elvis boarding the fated flight:

Along with Michael Jackson, who was last seen live in Vegas performing - what else? - “Slave to the Rhythm.”

Butt I digress: Is America a great country, or what?

“This horse has given everybody else out there the incentive to say, 'You know what? We can do it too.”

Yes We Can!!!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Finally: a #PhonyResponse to #PhonyScandals

Because we have so many phony scandals to deal with around here, we’re decided to address them one at a time, beginning with the phony VA scandal, which we’ve responded to forcefully.

A brief recap, in case you can’t keep up: this is the phony scandal in which the Veteran’s Administration is accused of letting dozens, if not hundreds, of our vets suffer and/or die due to their incompetence. It also involves, allegedly, the willful suppression of facts regarding actual wait times (aka Wait-list Fraud) which was first brought to light back in March of 2013:

An internal memo from March 2013 obtained by NBC shows top VA officials learned of the problem well before the current allegations, and had been quietly trying to fix it.

As you know, we reacted to this disgraceful behavior immediately - well, within 15 months, which is way better than we did in Benghazi - after some loudmouth blew the whistle about this ongoing practice.

Or as Ed Morrissey noted:

They have known about the problem for 15 months — and only now are getting around to doing audits? Sounds like a typical VA wait time, eh? (Side Note: Who knew Ed was Canadian,)

Apparently the motivation behind this phony scandal was…money. The phony wait-list scam made various facilities performance appear better than it actually was, hence making the functionaries running the facilities eligible for big bonuses. Sort of like what happened with the financiers on Wall Street.

So, the appropriate resolution for a phony scandal: A phony firing.

“Today, I accepted the resignation of Dr. Robert Petzel, undersecretary for health in the Department of Veterans Affairs,”

Let the record reflect that Dr. Petzel was set to retire effective May 31. So this forced him to move that date ahead…2 weeks. That’s what I call government accountability.  

“Heads will wobble!” (h/t Charles Krauthammer)

So Dr. Petzel will be going on vacation for 2 weeks. And that’s what accountability looks like in the Age of Obama. Since the hashtag campaign seems to be going quite well we’re planning similar resolutions for some of our other phony scandals, in hopes of avoiding any more unnecessary phony firings – as we’re all about creating jobs, not eliminating them.

So, for example, for the phony Benghazi-gate, a hashtag campaign directed at the rebels just out for a walk one night who decided to go kill some Americans:

And if that doesn’t do the trick, we’ll “fire” Hillary.

And for the phony IRS scandal, a two pronged campaign to address both concerns:

The Big Brains around here think this is a real WINNING! stratgy. We’ve branded it our Scandal Obfuscating Strategy (SOS™) with the optional Hashtag Resolutions™ add-on. We’re even thinking of monetizing it by offering it to the private sector for Big Evil Corporations to use in the resolution of their own phony scandals. Oink!

Take GM for example, they could really benefit:

General Motors has agreed to pay the federal government $35 million -- the maximum penalty -- for failing to report the potentially deadly defect earlier.

While GM had knowledge of their ignition switch problem as early as 2006, let the record reflect that as part of the GM government occupation, future liability for any vehicles built before the bailout was waived:

GM went through a government-backed bankruptcy reorganization in 2009, which voided any liability claims tied to products made before July 2009.

So I don’t know what that’s all about, butt I do know that the government has acknowledged losing $11.5 billion on the GM bailout. By my pre-Common Core calculation that still leaves U.S. taxpayers, well, $11.5 billion in the hole as the $35 million fine literally gets lost in the rounding. Maybe if I use Common Core math pairs I could get it to round down to $11.4 million.

Still $35 mil is $35 mil. If GM had hired the Lady M SOS™ Rapid Response Team, this whole thing could have been resolved for pennies on the dollar (plus processing and handling):

And here’s a bit of free advice for Fox News: you could inoculate yourselves from further criticism by Big Guy if you take advantage of our giant Spring Special offer. Sign up for Lady M’s SOS™ program today and get an extra year of protection absolutely free! (just pay separate processing and handling).

SPECIAL ADVANCE ANNOUNCEMENT:

As many of you know, the care and maintenance of a daily blog is quite labor intensive. And while I love the work and adore all of my “colleagues” here, the hours are long and the pay and benefits short. I’m not complaining, butt after 5 years I’ve accumulated a pretty hefty list of deferred projects and duties that need my immediate attention.

Therefore as of Memorial Day, I, MOTUS, will be cutting way back on my hours and taking a summer sabbatical of sorts.

Butt as a certain old cowboy said:

“I don’t know how to quit you.”

So, instead of a daily post, I will put up a “Thought of the Day,” “Topic of the Day” or a “Picture of the Day.” Consider them to be open threads. Once a week or so (most likely on the weekend) I’ll do a full post. This will allow me to tend to my neglected responsibilities and projects that have languished nearly as long as Big Guy’s economy.

This should allow me to get back in tip-top form for a return to fulltime duty sometime after Labor Day. Watch out Midterms!

I hope you all understand and continue to carry the weight around here this summer with all the wit, snark and very special MOL, MOD and FOM charm we’ve all come to expect and enjoy. Thank you for your support, and God bless America.

Linked By: High Praise from IMAO,  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @batfreight, @GingerMarple, @Standlow, @FarNorthDallasT, @SashTam on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network