The True Story of How Muhammad Discovered America

actual photo h/t Blazing Cat Fur

In eleven hundred and seventy eight
Muhammad sailed through the Hormuz strait.

He had three ships that left from Persia;
Heading out and sailing further
Than anyone had sailed before
To land upon America’s shore.

 MOTUS, 2014

And that, my friends, is the legend of how Muslims discovered America, 300 years before Columbus. And that’s great news, just in time for Thanksgiving! It means Western Imperialism is off the hook for stealing and raping the Indians’ land, brutally killing Native Americans with long guns and small pox and introducing everything from racism, sexism, anti-gay bigotry, and the class system to the Americas; by all rights that credit rightfully belongs to the Muslims now.

And since they have not been given any credit for it, can you blame them for wanting to kill all of us?

Oh sure, Big Guy tried to give them credit belatedly on Eid al-Fitr last August, saying:

“Eid also reminds us of the many achievements and contributions of Muslim Americans to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”

Since most people couldn’t even think of one, let alone “many” achievements, without resorting to – as  Father Sarducci might say “two of them  being-a card tricks.”

h/t Father Sarducci

So Robert Spencer (director of Jihad Watch) was good enough to list five for us. Here they are in chronological order:

1. Getting us here in the first place: No, not “discovering” America, butt by blocking the eastern route to Asia. “Because the fall of Constantinople to the Muslims in 1453 closed the trade routes to the East.” Thus forcing Christopher Columbus to set off to find a western route.

2. Slavery: Oh yes; Muslims didn’t invent slavery butt they certainly did capitalize on it: “Arguably, then, if it weren’t for the Islamic slave industry on the African continent, there would have been no slavery in the New World, and none of the attendant national traumas that reverberate down to this day.”

3. The Marines: “From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli…” The Marines became a permanent fixture of our fighting forces during the first war the U.S. fought against Islamic jihadists  on the Barbary Coast in 1801-05.

4. A drastically weakened economy: 9-11: ‘nuf said, I think. “We experience the effects of this every day in a thousand ways, large and small – in an America that is poorer, uglier, meaner, more dangerous, less productive and less efficient than it was on September 10, 2001.”

5. The TSA: “the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security are two new bloated and ever-growing bureaucracies, further draining the already depleted American taxpayer.”

Perhaps this up-till-now oversight of Muslims’ proper place in history explains why they have been at war with us for the past 500 years. I don’t really know how to explain the first 900 years however – at least not in any politically correct manner.

So in an attempt to make amends for this slighting of Muslim accomplishments in world history I’m launching a new feature I’m calling:

Here are a few of my favorite entries:

1. Muslim engineer accidentally invents the wheel, still working on the concept: (h/t DeweyFromDetroit)

2.Muslim scientist in weapons lab, praying to discover cold fusion:

3. Muslims in space:

Next I suppose we’re going to be hearing from the Chinese, claiming that they discovered America. I guess that’s plausible; how else do you explain all those Chinese restaurants?

That’s fine by me too; there’s certainly enough guilt to spread around.

Sum-dim all right

Why should the white man get all of it?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Post-Obamacare Syndrome Gruber Therapy®

The list of people who have been “Grubered” is growing by the hour.

The Wise Cockatoo, with his little peacock.

The list - which started with the stupid American people – soon included stupid journalists who were mis-misinformed about the math, and then stupid politicians like Max Baucus, Harry Reid and  Nancy Pelosi. And then yesterday Big Guy himself added his name to the list of the “grubered” when he said he was shocked about the controversy involving “some advisor, not even on staff” and claimed again that ObamaCare was 110% transparent.

Alas, as Clarice points out, Jonny was not as insignificant as many would have him:

But you cannot pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars, cite him in your speeches and on your websites and in your briefs as an authority and then credibly pretend you don't know him.(READ THE REST!) 

And apparently we haven’t even heard the worst of it yet according to Rich Weinstein, private citizen and investigative cub reporter at large.

So it strikes me that there may be many of you out there who in the coming days will find yourselves wishing you had a way to wipe that smug, condescending smirk off the elitist face of “ Mr. Mandate” Gruber. Well, now you can, with my patented Post-Obamacare Syndrome (POS) Gruber Therapy®!

If you’ve already taken advantage of my free POS Barry Therapy®,  no further instructions are required. If you’re new to my clinic, the therapy sessions are easy and free (unlike ObamaCare!). It requires no previous experience, very little knowledge, has no rules and the objective is unclear – just like our foreign policy.

For relief at any time, here’s all you have to do:

• Navigate to my permanent Barry Therapy Clinic (it's over there -–> in my sidebar) and select the “Gruber” session
• Watch Gruber free fall, banging into and bouncing off the ObamaCare bumpers to your hearts’ content
• When Jonny lands in a crevasse and stops falling, just grab him by the head, butt or feet with your mouse and push, pull or squeeze him over, under or through the bumpers. He’ll even fit through invisible cracks – just like a rodent!
• If at any time you feel the need to increase the intensity of the session, just grab Gruber with your mouse and fling him wherever you want! He’ll just keep falling.

No prescription is required and treatment will be available whenever you need it. So go ahead, give both levels of my customized POS Gruber Therapy® a go (Level I,  with bumpers and Level II, with exposed hypodermic needles). I’m certain you’ll feel  better instantly.

Remember: you can’t fix smug, butt you can fling it around

Level I:

Level II

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and American Digest, and iOwnTheWorldReport, and Moonbattery, and Adrienne’s Corner, and The Feral Irishman, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Big Schick Finds Out Little Schick is Shooting His Mouth Off

Is there anything better than liberal arrogance flaunted so proudly it bites you in the butt? I think not.

ObamaCare for Dummies, by Dummies

So I hope Jonathan Gruber thoroughly enjoyed shooting his mouth off on camera over and over, in that self-aggrandizing way only our big brained betters have. Because I know we sure as heck are. I must say, it’s quite refreshing to see this sort of accidental transparency reveal one of the NeoComs™ basic organizing principles: the ends justify the means.

And has anyone else noticed that the bolder they get, the more totalitarian they sound? So when Sowsear1 pointed out yesterday that Jonathan Gruber’s last name is reminiscent of “Schicklgruber,”  the moniker used to refer to Hitler by the Allied Press, even though it was never his real name, it’s hard to miss the connection:

In the case of Hitler's presumed last name, it seems a lie was more effective, perhaps because ''Schicklgruber'' sounds more ridiculous than ''Hitler,'' even today. Therefore, the lie lives on, being more preferable than the truth. This may be the most enduring success of our psychological warfare experts.

Moral of the story: the Big Lie lives on. Will we continue to buy the big lie of ObamaCare, even after it’s been exposed as a hoax? I don’t know about you, butt whenever I’m faced with existential questions like this I always ask myself: WWHD? (What Would Hitler Do) Odd, isn’t it, how conducive to Hitler Finds Out parodies this regime is?

Hitler Finds Out Field Marshal Gruber Spilled the Beans

Linked By: iOwnTheWorldREPORT, and Gateway Pundit, and The Minority Report, and Breitbart, and  Weasel Zippers, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Exactly who is Field Marshal Gruber calling stupid?

Ordinarily a big brained college professor telling us that we are stupid wouldn’t be particularly newsworthy.

“This bill was written in a tortured way to make sure the CBO did not score the mandate as taxes,” said Gruber. “Lack of transparency is a huge political advantage. Call it the stupidity of the America voter, or whatever.”

Butt when the big brain is Herr Jonathan Guber, MIT Professor of Economics¹ and Field Marshal of Big Guy’s Operation Obamacare assault on our formerly great American health care system – and by doing so reveal the fundamental fraud at the heart of that legislation – people sit up and take notice. Well, unless you’re ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, the New York Times, etc.; in that case you pretend you’ve heard nothing.

“I heard nothink!”

To be fair, MSNBC had little Ronan Farrell provide a platform for “Professor Mandate” (as Big Guy calls him) to claim that he just misspoke the truth. Which was good enough for most of the mainstream alphabets to justify not covering it (CBS broke rank yesterday and mentioned it once in order to let themselves off the hook).

And yet, Herr Gruber had hardly gotten warmed up: he went on to explain that states who defy Big Guy’s will by refusing to set up state exchanges will be penalized by losing subsidies for their residents: that in fact that is intended as the bait:

I guess we’ll find out if he was too clever by half when the Supreme Court takes up the case, which contends that giving subsidies to people getting their insurance through the Federal Exchange are illegal based on the way the law was written – just like Professor Bait-and-Switch said they would be.

Later he also explains that we of little brains are not smart enough to understand that businesses don’t pay taxes; they pass them along in the price of their goods and services. Wow! Well, honestly, who could have figured that out on their own!? Watch the Prof explain, as only a big brained economist can, this shockingly complex economic principal, beginning at the 3:00 minute mark:

And much, much more in this montage:

So let’s be perfectly clear about just who Professor Smarty Pants was calling stupid: it wasn’t the well informed readers of the new alternate media. It wasn’t those of you who smelled the dead skunk and anticipated the lies even though you didn’t get to read the bill before it passed.

“I smell nothink!”

No, Professor Smarty Pants was talking about you Mr./Ms. Mainstream Media, because he knew that without winning your hearts and minds first, they could never win the hearts and minds of the LLIV (Liberal Low Information Voters) whose hearts and minds they counted on.

In other words, I don’t think Herr Gruber is talking about us, as we all have noses that are highly sensitive to even a whiff of snake oil.

No, he was talking about people like Ron Fournier of National Journal:

He called you stupid. [ed: Herr Gruber’s talking about you, Ron] He admitted that the White House lied to you [ed: Herr Gruber’s talking about you, Ron]. Its officials lied to all of us—Republicans, Democrats, and independents; rich and poor; white and brown; men and women.

Liberals should be the angriest. Not only were they [ed: Herr Gruber’s talking about you, Ron] personally deceived, but the administration's dishonest approach to health care reform has helped make Obamacare unpopular while undermining the public's faith in an activist government. A double blow to progressives.

Butt wait! I’m not done yet!

 

On top of that, Gruber has helped make the legal case for anti-Obamacare lawyers. In July, a year-old video surfaced in which Gruber said Washington legally withholds money from states that don't create their own health care exchanges. That could be construed by the Supreme Court to buttress the case against health insurance subsidies.

Yup, he’s definitely talking about you, Ron, and all of your “stupid” NeoCom™² comrades.

The moral of the story? Don’t be that stupid guy in the MSM; join the Army of Davids.

H/T Instapundit

¹Economics: The social science of human behavior in the marketplace that obfuscates the obvious by using theories, epidemiological models, and a special language of invented words to write thousand page dissertations of mumbo jumbo that you are too stupid to understand. (h/t Jonathon Gruber).

²NeoCom™ - The uber-Left wing of the Democratic Party, formerly known as the “Progressive Wing.” NeoComs™ ascribe to the belief that the Constitution is merely an advisory document, written a way long time ago by a bunch of racist, homophobic, misogynist white men.” They believe that the Constitution, together with the Bill of Rights, is “a charter of negative liberties” that “says what the states can’t do to you (and) what the Federal government can’t do to you, but doesn’t say what the Federal government or State government must do on your behalf.” Or, to paraphrase JFK: “Ask not what you can do for your country but what your country can do for you.”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

A Magic–O Mystery Tour

Now that he has moved on to Burma shall we discuss Big Guy’s triumphant Chinese trip? How can I call it “triumphant” you ask?

Bo in Burma: give that boy a cup of hot cocoa and we’ve got our next pajama boy

Well, wouldn’t you consider it a triumph when you’ve finally accomplished your prime objective of fundamentally transforming America?

You may recall that Barry has always ascribed to the theory that America is too powerful, too assertive and too advantaged by it’s military capabilities and economic might. So when the handiwork of his past 6 years - overseeing the decline in U.S.power - was finally displayed in Bejing this week: how could bo be anything butt proud of the results? Voilà! A newly downsized “little America”  

Mission Accomplished! H/T Lili48

Of course it was still a little unsettling for our newly diminished little bo because, like all Liberals, he never expected the results of his efforts to improve the world to impact HIM! Still, that setback didn’t prevent him from following through on another aspect of his prime objective; sure enough, Barry also seized the day by utilizing his legendary negotiation skills to strike a historic (natch) U.S.–China climate change deal:

President Barack Obama announced Wednesday with Chinese President Xi Jinping that the U.S. will cut its 2005 level of carbon emissions by 26-28% by 2025 while China committed to begin reducing its emissions footprint by 2030.

So let me help you process this; while Barry just committed US to cut “green house” gas emissions by nearly 30% over the next decade, China has to do basically…nothing?

That’s right! And that’s why Big Guy’s “negotiated” settlements around here are called “how about I give you my brand new Mercedes for one of your old shoes” deals. With this one however, BO scored a twofer: not only did he strike a blow against man made global warming climate change butt he also managed to make a giant stride “forward” in the fight to achieve income equality around the globe.

Just think - someday when you show your grandchildren pictures of how great American cities once looked:

A sunny day in Chicago and New York

you can tell them that they can thank America’s Last Black President for finally leveling the global playing field  and firmly closing the door on the “American Century” thus flinging the door wide open for the  “Chinese Century.”

Soon we’ll all be able to enjoy a sunny day the same way they do in Shanghai (L) and Bejing (R)

We will discuss other aspects of how the door closes later this week when I pick up the topics of “Amnesty by  Pen and Phone” and Field Marshall Gruber’s explanation of how to win the hearts and minds of stupid Americans.

Jonathan Gruber’s Comic Book of Obamacare for stupid people

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Rules are for nice little people; I learned that on the playground.

Why, you ask, is Lady M doing promos with Penguins?

Simple; after a brutal round of campaigning for losers in the midterms she felt the need to get her mojo back. So she put on her big girl dress,

and threw her multiple assets into her good works programs for the week:

First she honored art teachers for after school programs where kids can learn things like animation, then she appeared with Doc McStuffins, a Disney character of color who takes care of a batch of stuffed animals.

Then she appeared at a Joining Forces seminar to address women veterans transitioning to civilian life:

If she didn’t really look all that happy to be there, there was a reason.

If you check out the picture closely, you see the problem: empty seats!

At a Lady M event?!? That’s never happened to Lady M before. She blames Obama, too.

So until further notice MO will participate exclusively in events sponsored by Disney and DreamWorks featuring cute animated characters:

Actually, that might not be a bad rule for Big Guy to adhere to as well; he might even learn a thing or two about how the world really works.

Maybe he could even launch a post-presidential career by appearing in films and licensing action figures of himself: now available with your Big Obama “happy meal” – an authentic Obama action figure!

Want fries with that, little guy?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Happy Veterans Day: 2014

There are scant words to adequately acknowledge the men and women who have served our country, especially in times of war, so let me simply say thank you.

Of course, our FLOTUS has always been able to find unique ways to express her sentiments such as this memorable 2009 ensemble:

Concept: military style coat and boots

Reality: Smurf style coat with Paddington Bear mukluks

Please find your own unique way to honor our courageous veteran’s today. It need not be flashy. 

NOTE: In reviewing last year’s Veteran’s Day post (Veteran’s Day: Remembering Why We Fight) I saw an update at the bottom that reminded me that one year ago today I heard from Carlyle who we had all been worried about. She was still in the hospital recovering. We are so happy to have her back with us this year in good health once again!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted and Featured on Patriot Action Network

MOTUS’ TWILIGHT NOCTURNE LOUNGE: EDMUND FITZGERALD EDITION

 

The MOTUS Twilight Nocturne Lounge will be open briefly this evening to commemorate the sinking of the The SS Edmund Fitzgerald in a hellacious Lake Superior storm on November 10,1975 resulting in the loss of the entire crew of 29. Dewey from Detroit started our annual commemoration night back in 2009, when there was very little else to celebrate. I try to continue the tradition each year because Great Lake shipping is about as American as a job can get, and the men who worked the freighters are a special breed – the Mike Rowe dirty jobs kind of men that have built and maintained American greatness for generations. And because we still don’t have that much to celebrate.

For the history buffs, this is a good video of the ship’s last journey on that fateful night:

Tonight’s musical selection is, of course, Gordon Lightfoot’s tribute to the ship and crew:

And while you’re free to order anything you want, the only beverage that properly commemorates the Fitz is the drink known as a “dark and stormy” elsewhere, butt christened a “Gale of November” by Dewey. They both start with black rum, preferably Old Whaler’s or Goesling’s Black Seal, to which ginger beer is added. Only in Detroit, the ginger beer is replaced by Vernor’s, because “it’s what we drink around here.” 

So step up to the bar, pull up a stool, and order your drink of your choice: rum and Fever Tree Ginger Beer if you want the Dark and Stormy,

rum and Vernors if you want the authentic Detroit Gales of November.

Or maybe you want to keep it simple with a Great Lakes Porter:

Just remember to honor the poor souls who were sent to their icy, watery death 39 years ago tonight in an early winter storm generated from an Arctic Vortex - just like the one headed our way!

DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!