So What Am I, Chopped Liver?

If you are a woman, it’s a pretty seductive argument : “Research shows men really are more stupid than women.”

However, when your entire research universe is drawn from a self-selecting pool of low IQ specimens -

- it’s hard to give the conclusion too much weight:

Study Abstract:

Sex differences in risk seeking behaviour, emergency hospital admissions, and mortality are well documented. However, little is known about sex differences in idiotic risk taking behaviour. This paper reviews the data on winners of the Darwin Award over a 20 year period (1995-2014). Winners of the Darwin Award must eliminate themselves from the gene pool in such an idiotic manner that their action ensures one less idiot will survive. This paper reports a marked sex difference in Darwin Award winners: males are significantly more likely to receive the award than females (P<0.0001). We discuss some of the reasons for this difference.

To be clear: you need to be really stupid to be part of this “study:”

Yeah, you need to be this stupid to get on this ride.

Winners of the Darwin Award must die in such an idiotic manner that “their action ensures the long-term survival of the species, by selectively allowing one less idiot to survive.” The Darwin Awards Committee attempts to make a clear distinction between idiotic deaths and accidental deaths. For instance, Darwin Awards are unlikely to be awarded to individuals who shoot themselves in the head while demonstrating that a gun is unloaded. This occurs too often and is classed as an accident. In contrast, candidates shooting themselves in the head to demonstrate that a gun is loaded may be eligible for a Darwin Award—such as the man who shot himself in the head with a “spy pen” weapon to show his friend that it was real.

In fact, if you were to use the U.S. Congress as the control group, you might justifiably conclude that the sexes are equally stupid; indeed, you could even conclude that stupidity is an equal opportunity predator.

I swear, between stupidity and wimpiness America may well be doomed.

Now it seems our best and brightest are so easily traumatized by current events that they can’t even take their finals. Here’s part of a plea on behalf of Harvard Law students, pushing for exam delays over the Ferguson and Staten Island grand jury decisions:

Unless you act now, you will allow the systematic underperformance of a great many students of color and allies on this campus on their exams.

We cannot walk away from our pain, and we cannot ignore our call to act against the injustice that threatens our families and our commitment to the justice system.

This is more than a personal emergency. This is a national emergency.

I’ll say it’s a national emergency: we are either too stupid or too wimpy to continue to thrive.

Megyn has some thoughts, and some guests with thoughts on this latest national emergency:

I say give them as much “grieving and healing” time as they need; if it were not for our Ivy League’s really Big Brains how ever would we run this stupid country?

Gruber: Big Brained MIT Prof thinks you’re chopped liver

 

NOTE: DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, TOMORROW WILL BE DEDICATED TO SHARING CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH/FESTIVUS RECIPES/TRADITIONS/STORIES. SO PLAN AHEAD. (P.S. does anyone have a good chopped liver recipe?)

AND JUST FOR YOUR FUTURE PLANNING: SINCE THE REPUBLICANS WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO PASS THE CROMNIBUS FOR US, THE WHOLE  HAPPY, HISTORIC FIRST FAMILY WILL BE DEPARTING FOR OUR ANNUAL WINTER HOLIDAY IN HAWAII (SORRY, ISLANDERS) NEXT FRIDAY.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Key West Reader on HotAir, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

No Fleece, No Justice

Washington remains on hold while the Senate continues to grapple with the trillion dollar CROmnibus bill which passed – or more accurately, was punted - by the Republican held House:

“…you punt on fourth down, not first down. And right now, the House leadership, for whatever reason, thinks it’s best to punt without running a play.” - Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.) note: this is a must-read

In addition to being on hold, D.C. will also be in gridlock: the Reverend Al Sharpton is holding his traffic blocking “Justice for All Blacks Killed by White Cops, Butt Not Blacks Killed by Black Cops or Whites Killed by White or Black Cops” march on Washington today. Because in Al’s world ‘tis always the season of fleece peace on earth and racial divisiveness/animosity towards all men of good will. Unfortunately not all of Al’s pals will be able to join him today.

The Reverend Jackson will probably be in Chicago, protesting the thousands of black men killed by other black men, or Christmas shopping on the Miracle Mile with his armed guards. And, Ms. Pascal, well, she’ll be in Hollywood, grappling with the fallout from Sonygate:

 

Hello Amy; have you ever had chicken pox?

Butt back to Reverend Al’s bobbleheaded Justice for All march: apparently not everyone is on board with it:

“I would instead prefer a march for increased job opportunities for black Americans and better educational options in urban communities," said Project 21 Co-Chairman Cherylyn Harley LeBon,

"Al Sharpton seems to have one agenda, and that's garnering money and influence for himself within the liberal establishment," said Project 21's Lawrence B. Jones III,

“Violent riots in Berkeley, protesters intimidating and disrupting Christmas shoppers at a Toys 'R' Us in New York City and a militant group now threatening to shoot members of the NYPD clearly shows protests are devolving into anarchy," said Project 21's Niger Innis

“I wonder when we will march, protest and show righteous indignation over black-on-black crime and lift up our so-called collective voices with similar moral outrage," said Project 21's Reverend Steven Louis Craft

Hmmm. Maybe Al should cancel his visit to Justice and instead stop by Treasury, pay his tax bill and then go home to New York. If he stops rabblerousing in person, he would have time to write stories for Rolling Stone, where facts don’t matter either.

Then he could once again become a man-in-full.

Annie Leibovitz’s 1988 portrait,

'The Reverend Al Sharpton, PrimaDonna Beauty Care Center, Brooklyn

“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”

Instead of the not-so-funny little bobblehead he’s turned into.

After all, the country can always use another jolly Black Santa.

RESIST WE MUCH!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

A Week of Acting Stupidly

We started the week with Gruber, apologizing for acting stupidly:

"In excerpts of these videos I am shown making a series of glib, thoughtless, and sometimes downright insulting comments," Gruber said in prepared testimony to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Tuesday. "I behaved badly, and I will have to live with that…"

And apparently so do we – “have to live with that” I mean – as the House of Boner passed the CROmnibus last night. Now our fate is in the hands of Elizabeth Warren.

Next, Senator Feinstein acted stupidly by releasing a prosecutor’s brief untainted by any hint of fair-minded inquiry. Even after enhanced interrogation attempts, Feinstein refused to reconsider her stupidity and wouldn’t even offer up an apology. Saying only:

…she had gone back and forth over whether the committee should delay the release of the report given the instability across many parts of the world.

”There may never be a right time to release the report.”

Well, duh, Diane: so far you’re in the lead for this week’s winner of the “you can’t fix stupid” award.

“A stain on our values”

Then Hollywood entered this week’s stupid people sweepstakes. Their private “too cute by half” emails back and forth to each other having been exposed by hackers, the big-wigs quickly apologized for getting caught acting stupidly:

“To anybody I’ve offended, I’m profoundly and deeply sorry, and I regret and apologize for any injury they might have caused,” the film producer Scott Rudin said in a statement after the disclosure of his private email banter with Amy Pascal, Sony’s co-chairwoman, about Mr. Obama and black-themed films. “I made a series of remarks that were meant only to be funny, but in the cold light of day, they are in fact thoughtless and insensitive — and not funny at all.”

Butt do you know what is funny? Hypocrites, getting called out for being racists and hypocrites by other racists and hypocrites.

Ms. Pascal said in her own statement: “The content of my emails to Scott were insensitive and inappropriate but are not an accurate reflection of who I am. Although this was a private communication that was stolen, I accept full responsibility for what I wrote and apologize to everyone who was offended.”

Yeah, sorry; not good enough for our White House resident race pimp (no, the other one).

Relax, we’re talking about movies

And I think we can all agree John Boehner acted stupidly by #Grubering his conservative base. Will he apologize too? Stay tuned butt don’t hold your breath; so far all he’s done is take a victory lap.

Maybe he was confused by Nancy Pelosi and Elizabeth Warren’s opposition to Big Guy’s bill, or maybe he really thinks his base is in favor of re-opening the Wall Street Casinos and funding Obamacare, EPA carbon taxes, wide-open borders and amnesty.

Have another glass of red wine, John, and go sit next to Dianne; you’re definitely in the running for this week’s top award.

Meanwhile, Big Guy accompanied Lady M to the Marine’s annual Toys-For-Tots round up. Since she usually goes alone, and he doesn’t look all that happy to be there,  I assume he must have done something stupid and this was payback.

“Yeah, like I said, ‘To anybody I’ve offended, I’m profoundly and deeply sorry, and I regret and apologize for any injury that might have caused.’”

It appeared that Big Guy didn’t quite grasp the objective of the toy drive and tried to make off with bags of loot.

Hands up! Don’t shoot!

In any other week that would have moved him into the final round of the You Can’t Fix Stupid contest. Unfortunately this week the competition was just too strong.

Oh by the way: this week’s celebrity judge - who will determine who receives this week’s “you can’t fix stupid” award is Paula Deen. You can place your bets now at window 2. 

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

Schoolin’ Gruber…Anyone?

Question:  Ben Stein and Jonathan Gruber: Separated at Birth?

Let’s watch one of the Professors try to school the stupid people, because you really can’t watch this often enough:

Apparently, by their own accounts, neither Jonathan nor Ben are geniuses:

“I'm not a Mensa member. I have no idea where that rumor came from. I never have been, and I doubt if I ever will be.” Ben Stein

Gowdy: “So you’re a professor at MIT and you’re worried about not looking smart enough?”

Gruber: “Yes.”

Gowdy: “OK. Well, you succeeded, if that was your goal.”

And both seem amazed at how easy it is to defraud people these days:

“Lack of transparency is a huge political advantage. And basically, call it the stupidity of the American voter or whatever, but basically that was really really critical for the thing to pass… Look, I wish Mark was right that we could make it all transparent, but I’d rather have this law than not.” –Gruber

“It's really amazing that in the age of unbelief, as a smart man called it, there isn't even more fraud. After all, with no God, there's no one to ever call you to account, and no accounting at all if you can get away with it.” – Ben Stein

Of course – because there IS a God - sometimes there are people like Trey Gowdy around, to “call you to account.”

(Because you can never watch a PhD grovel often enough either)

Okay, I’m just going to go ahead and make the call: I’m going with no, not separated at birth. Although Ben Stein was also a professor and also worked for a U.S. President, as far as I know he was never the architect of one of the biggest scams in United States history. And while he sometimes takes positions to the left of center, he does still believe in free market capitalism. Still, the physical resemblance is awesome. Maybe the Grub can finish out his career in Hollywood, where glibness and making yourself seem smarter at other’s expense is valued more highly.

 

“If we try to engineer outcomes, if we overturn tradition to make everyone the same, we ruin society. If we upset tradition to allow for an equal shot at the starting gate, everyone wins, except for the charlatans and would be dictators.” – Ben Stein

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

Because…Moral Equivalence.

The Senate Intelligence Committee’s $40 million investigation of the CIA (that involved no CIA directors or interrogators) culminated yesterday in the release of a 545 page executive summary (the complete report is 6000+pages so you can’t expect anyone to read that).

I can summarize it for you in far fewer words: America conducted what Diane Feinstein considers illegal torture techniques such as waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and death threats against Taliban operatives  captured following that World Trade center “incident” that led to our National Day of Remembrance Service. That makes us as bad as they are. Somehow.

Do you see the equivalence? Orange, in both examples; ipso fatso, we’re comparing oranges to oranges.

In a speech in the Senate, moments after the report was released Tuesday morning, Ms. Feinstein described the tumultuous history of her investigation and called the C.I.A. interrogation program “a stain on our values and our history.”

Oh no! Not a stain on our collective milk bottle! Sister Mary Katherine will be very upset with us.

In the world of morally equivalency, that’s about as bad as it gets. So what punishment for our horrendous crimes will be meted out? 

The White House today deflected any questions about who, if anyone, should be held accountable, saying those decisions are up to the Department of Justice.

As a senior administration official explained, “It's not our place to insert ourselves in that process.” (ed. Unlike incidents where cops act stupidly, in which case it is our place)

Butt apparently the DOJ has already reviewed and decided not to prosecute:

The Justice Department has already conducted a three-year review of the interrogation program and decided not to bring any criminal charges.

In August 2012, Attorney General Eric Holder explained in part that “the department has declined prosecution because the admissible evidence would not be sufficient to obtain and sustain a conviction beyond a reasonable doubt.”

President Obama, who banned torture shortly after taking office, has pledged not to prosecute those who carried out the enhanced interrogation techniques, saying “nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past.”

Butt I get it, they put panties on their heads!

That’s so gay!

So why, after $40 million and 6000 pages will there be no charges brought, no prosecution pursued, no accountability extracted for all this moral outrage? Oh wait, because…

“What difference at this point does it make!”

So now that we’ve smeared the CIA, endangered American personnel at home and abroad, let’s just put that evil genie back in the bottle and work on polishing up our image. 

Can I get a cleanup on aisle 1! How much will that cost, do you suppose?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

“Shades Up; I Can’t See!”

"This Is The Most Transparent Administration In History" - Barack Hussein Obama

Q: When does the most transparent administration in the history of the world actually practice said transparency?

A: When it can be used as an excuse to release their $40 million report on “enhanced interrogation” techniques used under George W. Bush’s watch.

Otherwise our posture on transparency around here remains unshaken, which is to say, it get’s the three wise monkeys treatment. Except for, you know, my ban on simian references, so let’s go with this:

The 3 wise otters see no, hear no, speak no evil

You can’t really trust otters though - they can easily be bought with nothing more than a good squirrel mouse,

For that they’ll gladly spill their guts

So maybe we should go with the 3 wise penguins instead:

They’re a bit more reliable. Until they retire. At which point they, too, can become rather unreliable.

Oh look! Ann Compton looks just like our otter with a mouse!

So remember this: we can fit the White House windows with any number of different types of glass:

All of which will let the light in while simultaneously allowing you to see out:

However, you can foil that dual benefit quite simply by installing blackout shades.

Which might be a good idea for the windows installed in the  CIA offices butt not for those in the White House.

Butt what do I know?  I’m just a Mirror who reflects. You decide.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network

Cellophane on Ice

William and Kate have barely landed on New York soil, and already the chattering heads have revved up the fashion controversy: which royal couple in America reigns supreme? Or, as the NYMag headline put it: William and Kate Arrive in NYC, Obamas Challenge Their Fashion Supremacy – And We’ll Never Be Royals 

(“Royals” h/t Lorde)

So, while BO and MO dressed up in their royal finery:

Oh look! The Ice Queen Cometh – and Lady M too!

to entertain the family and Tom Hanks at the 37th Annual Kennedy Center Honors

Oh look! Another Presidential award for another Hollywood bag man

William and the pregnant Kate arrived in New York dressed, by comparison, as commoners.

Which led the magazine to wonder:

How are American girls supposed to get excited about Kate's elegant but safe cocktail dress when Michelle's wearing the head of state equivalent of a Frozen costume?

Clearly, no contest

Later today Prince William will be meeting with BO at the White House to discuss the international trafficking of wildlife. Boy, I’m with the Prince on this; I think we should stop participating in this sort of trafficking of animals too:

Jihad Ahmed Mujstafa Diyab, one of 6 GITMO detainees released as “refugees” to Uruguay

Latif Mehsud: the “repatriated” Pakistani Taliban commander

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if I can get in touch with Princess Kate to see if I might be able to get the name of her hair stylist. Ours is about to go the way of Chuck Hagel.

Linked By: BFH @ iOTWREPORT, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Red Tide Has Passed: We’re Back In The Months With An “R” in Them.

Oh no! Big Guy has been brought down by a case of the dreaded Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). I can hear the late night jokes writing themselves. “Now Obama is even giving himself heartburn.”

It’s no surprise of course, the way people have been letting him down left and right. Mary Landrieu is just the latest Prog Obamacare Cheerleader to be swept out to sea by the red tide.

In her concession speech, Landrieu touted her own "record of courage, honesty and integrity and delivering for the state when it mattered the most."

Unfortunately, the citizens of Louisiana thought she delivered the state to Obama when it mattered most: Obamacare.

The senator also said she didn't regret her vote for Obamacare.

Unfortunately, her constituents did.

Mary, like most of her Senate cohorts, came to Washington to do good. And, as the saying goes, she did very well indeed: assuming you measure “good” by the amount of pork you accumulate.

Time-elapse photo series over Mary’s tenure demonstrating how well she’s done

Anyway, getting back to Big Guy: he thought he had a sore throat, butt it turned out what he actually had was a sour stomach: welcome to our world Big Guy! So the docs will be prescribing the usual fixes: lifestyle and dietary modifications (less smoking, drinking and eating rich foods) along with medications to treat acid reflux, such as H2 blockers or proton pump inhibitors. While highly effective, unfortunately, with Obamacare, those H2 blockers and proton pump inhibitors are not covered by your Obamacare Market Place plan:

“maximum out-of-pocket cost limit for any individual Marketplace plan for 2015 can be no more than $6,600 for an individual plan and $13,200 for a family plan.”

So, Mary, if you’re listening, that’s one of the reasons your constituents threw you out of office. Not, as you told Chuck Todd, because Louisiana is full of racists and sexists.

“And, number two, to be very, very honest with you the South is not always the friendliest place for African Americans. It’s been a difficult time for the president to present himself in a very positive light as a leader. It’s not always been a good place for women to be able to present ourselves.”

I think you’ve had a fair chance to present yourself. The people just don’t like what they’ve been presented. So here’s a little unsolicited advice: to prevent future cases of gastroesophageal reflux disease -

You might want to change your diet: maybe a little less pork?

Maybe a little more locally sourced protein like crawfish would be better now that the red tide has passed and we’re back into the months with an “R” in them. So go home and suck some crawfish heads – Now deemed 100% sexist, racist, and heartburn free.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network