When Easter Week and The Final Four Collide

March Madness continues as the Final Four face off today. As usual, there’s a whole lot of trash talking going on and it looks like the nonagenarians and centenarians are the worst:

Former Michigan Basketball star Jalen Rose’s 100 year old Grandma, Mary Belle Hicks,

In what can only be called cyber-bullying Jalen Rose’s centenarian grandma called out Loyola’s Jean Dolores-Schmidt, better known as Sister Jean, on Instagram: "Sister Jean, it's been a good ride. But it's over Saturday. Go Blue,"

Nonagenarian Sister Jean was not about to take this trash talk sitting down, figuratively speaking:

Jean Dolores-Schmidt, aka Sister Jean

Threatening a knock-out, Sister Jean responded yesterday: “Somebody said ‘Maybe you need a pair of boxing gloves,’ and I said ‘Well, we'll see what happens.’”

Wow! Watch the fireworks at 6:09 p.m. ET today. While you’re waiting, Blonde Gator sent this Likeability Index to help you decide who to root for in the Final Four if you don’t have a dog in the fight. Looks to me like the fix is in.

In other Holy Saturday news, I made a brisket yesterday to serve as part of my day-late-dollar-short Seder dinner tonight – last night would have been the correct night to hold a Seder but I didn’t realize you were supposed to let the cooked brisket sit in its juices overnight before serving until it was too late. As we’re not Jewish I didn’t think God would mind if we moved the Seder feast to tonight. My sister-in-law gave me a fine looking recipe that includes Lipton soup, apricot preserves, ketchup, soy sauce (which doesn’t sound quite kosher to me) and garlic. I’ll let you know how it turned out.

In the meantime, get those hot cross buns baked and the Easter ham ready for the oven.

Groucho the  Easter Bunny, would like to wish everyone a Happy Holy Saturday as well as a Happy Passover.

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#FOTUSFRIDAY: Never Let A Crisis Go To Waste

Remember in the way-back machine when any article less than outright adulation was termed a “hatin’ on” FLOTUS story?  The mood has clearly switched as we are now treated to one salacious article after another on our FLOTUS, POTUS and their “strained” relationship. But Melania, being a classy lady, just keeps soldiering on in her Christian Louboutins:

Always managing to look absolutely mahvelous.

Still, she gets sucked into the MSM’s farce-of the day - from PDJT’s alleged trysts to the it-boy-of-the-year’s spats with Fox News anchors who dared tweet about his tweets whining about getting rejected by 4 universities despite his sterling credentials. So when David Hogg called for a boycott of Laura Ingraham’s sponsors his baby sister Lauren, who clearly idolizes her derp brother,

joined the fray by trying to tweak Melania:

I don’t know about our FLOTUS, but I have a comment: How would you and your pipsqueak brother like it if WE all boycotted YOUR sponsors?

Brought to you by the people who will never, ever, let a good crisis go to waste

A Good Friday Side Note: McCabe Lied Four Times. He’s worse than Judas.

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#ThrowbackThursday: Roseanne Edition

The 70’s had Archie Bunker and his chair.

Apparently the 2010’s will have Roseanne and her couch (again), as her new-old show debuted to a huge audience (unexpectedly).

While nostalgia was expected to bring in eyeballs, no one predicted such a huge turnout on premiere night for the blue-collar family sitcom with a Donald Trump-supporting protagonist, especially among the younger demographic. But then, few predicted that Trump would become the Republican nominee and would win the presidential election when he first announced his candidacy. - Deadline Hollywood

And that’s a good thing, as we can use some of the wisdom from the throwback years:

Ah yes, those were the days.

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#OpenWhineWednesday

Oh great! This week I’ve got something real to whine about. It appears that the out-of-control-crashing-Chinese-satellite, Tiangong-1, is going to make reentry on Easter and there is nowhere I can go to escape it.

The map below shows the relative probabilities of debris landing within a given region. Yellow indicates locations that have a higher probability while green indicates areas of lower probability. Blue areas have zero probability of debris reentry since Tiangong-1 does not fly over these areas (north of 42.7° N latitude or south of 42.7° S latitude). These zero probability areas constitute about a third of the total Earth’s surface area.

Both of my bunkers are under attack: all of northern Utah and all of Southeast Michigan are in its path of doom! Maybe I should have retired to Florida or Arizona like everyone else. Although it looks like the only places in the continental US that you’re guaranteed to be debris free is a bit of northern Oregon, Washington, northern Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and northern Maine – not normally considered retirement destinations (unless you are hpsurf or Lady Bikki).

The only good news is that San Francisco and New York are also in its path. The bad news is that D.C. appears to have slipped the trajectory of the space junk.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go find my umbrella and tinfoil hat and get busy tracking this sucker.

I would advise the rest of you stuck in the yellow band area do the same.

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Weather Report: Stormy, With a Chance of Nuclear Fallout

What? We’re expelling Russian diplomats? That should make the Left happy, no? No, not happy yet. It’s not enough! We need to do more!

What would be adequate? A Nuclear bomb?

That might end all this Russia! Russia! Russia! talk and we could get on to Stormy Daniels. Or perhaps they would have PDJT to consult with our diplomatic genius emeritus, Barry Obama. Now HE knows how to deal with Russians!

‘Tell Vladdie I’ll have more flexibility after I’m re-elected for life.’

Spies, nerve agents, HAZMAT frogmen on the march...

Forgive me if I’m unable to take any of this stuff seriously anymore. Can’t we just get back talk about the President meeting with prostitutes?

h/t CoolBrew and OP Durrwood

Weather report: Stormy, with a chance of nuclear fallout:

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#MondayMoanin’ – Our Finest Hour

This really ticks me off, I completely missed Saturday’s Earth Hour – the purely symbolic 60 minutes where countries around the globe switch off their lights at 8:30 p.m. local time to highlight the importance of international unity in the fight against climate change.

The ruins of the ancient world in darkness – just like in the olden times. Symbolic!

I blame the media for the lack of coverage. There was no local news coverage even in Park City where people tend to go rabid over “light pollution” ruining their “dark sky.” If you haven’t experienced this strain of liberal mania in your community yet allow me to explain: they want to limit additional building, and the lighting that comes with it, in order to preserve the night sky. It’s an offshoot of the “I’ve-got-mine-so-screw you” division of anti-development.

Stop Building S**t! – I’ve got what I want

Anyway, I’m annoyed as I missed the opportunity to turn on all my inside and outside lights, including floods, crank up the stereo so it could be heard above the din of multiple TVs playing throughout the house, make sure all the computers are standing at attention and fire the oven up to 500 degrees in order to bake a frozen pizza. It’s the best way I know to celebrate my White Privilege. A privilege I may add that has been extended to the citizens of all former colonies of the Western world, although many continue to squander it to this day. Benjamin Franklin’s admonition comes to mind, paraphrased somewhat: “it’s civilization, madam, if you can keep it.”

Minimally I like to use Earth Hour to celebrate the fact that we are NOT North Korea.

But who knew – according to the eco-freaks they’re actually going to save the planet.

I just hope the Little Rocket Man doesn’t think he has to destroy the world in order to save it.

Note to meme writers – “it’s i before e except after c”

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Resist We Much! Kiddie Edition

Ohm's law: deals with the relationship between voltage and current in an ideal conductor. This relationship states that: The potential difference (voltage) across an ideal conductor is proportional to the current through it. The constant of proportionality is called the "resistance." Ohm's Law is given by: V = I R

Yesterday the streets were filled with the resistance: high school students and their parents  – many of whom have not and never will take Physics 101 – demanding gun control in order to protect their lives. Apparently many of them have not taken American history* either. But never mind all that: they know what they feel.

Whatever that means

So yes, bring on the resistors,

resistor:

1. a device designed to introduce resistance into an electric circuit.

2. a device that has electrical resistance and that is used in an electric circuit for protection, operation, or current control

… who just want common sense gun controls in the equation. That should resolve the problem of bad guys with guns.

So what do you say we just kick those old worn out capacitors to the side:

capacitor:

1. A device for accumulating and holding a charge of electricity, consisting of two equally charged conducting surfaces having opposite signs and separated by a dielectric (insulator).

They just get in the way of change.

And the children know that all we need to fix the world are fewer capacitors and more resistors!

From the mouths of babes: Gun Confiscation - NOW!

What he really wanted to say

What could go wrong?

Sparebots by Lenny and Meriel

*A brief synopsis of what the Second Amendment is about for those who missed it in history class:

Despite what your teacher may have told you, it’s not about hunting.

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Driverless Cars: The Pinnacle of Soul-Sucking Anti-American Wussification

Could there be anything less American than driverless cars?  I suppose sexbots might quality but certainly driverless cars are right up there.

Why would you NOT want to drive this?

Seriously, driverless cars have no place in the land that practically invented the open road, hit-the-road-Jack-never-come-back motif. And Michael Walsh agrees:

…these vehicles are emasculating, imprisoning, anti-American, and inhuman. And now, in the wake of the first fatal accident involving an “autonomous vehicle,” they’re deadly as well.

Whence comes this rush to robot cars? Did the public demand it? Or have our betters in the tech industry and in the bowels of the bureaucracy taken it upon themselves to correct our lamentable human failings and, in the name of “safety,” shove these vehicles down our throats?

He also touches on how the fear of terrorism has led to the trashing of the Fourth Amendment. Citing how we’re all subject to government overreach, unreasonable search and seizure at airports and “legal” snooping via your computer, phone (and bank records) he wonders “why would you climb into a robocar and take yourself hostage on purpose?” And notes that convenience “is no reason to voluntarily surrender your personal autonomy to something that will, by definition, be subject to close governmental scrutiny and control.”

All of which seems self-evident to anyone of a certain age. Not so for Millennials – many of whom didn’t even want to learn how to drive – who have been conditioned by propaganda to embrace mass transportation, Ubers and Zipcars. Not only do they feel they are saving the planet by not owning their means of transportation, it allows them to forego yet another right of passage to adulthood: the assumption of responsibility for owning and operating a set of wheels to get them from where they are to where they think they want to go. They’ll never appreciate that joie de vivre kindled simply by listening to a “road song” written to celebrate freedom and mobility  – both euphemistically and literally. Pity, really.

The 1958 Impala, built to let you see the USA in your Chevrolet

Here’s just a partial list of my best ‘Hit the Road’ songs, feel free to add your own:

The Beach Boys — ‘Little Deuce Coupe’

Ronnie and the Daytonas – Little GTO – aka the “The Wah Wah song”

The Stills-Young Band — ‘Long May You Run’

Janis Joplin — ‘Mercedes Benz’ 

Wilson Pickett — ‘Mustang Sally’ 

Willie Nelson — ‘On The Road Again’ 

The Doors – Riders on the Storm

Prince — ‘Little Red Corvette’

Tracy Chapman — ‘Fast Car’

Don Henley — ‘Boys of Summer’ 

And of course the ultimate Motown car song, Aretha Franklin’s Freeway of Love (in her Pink Cadillac)

Mr. Walsh concludes his analysis of driverless cars with this:

But that’s what the land of the free is rapidly becoming: a nation of passengers, without even enough gumption to be backseat drivers. Enjoy the ride.

They once said “as GM goes, so goes the nation.” I say “no” to gray, soul-less, driverless cars. I say let’s make Motown great again and see how it works out for the rest of the country.

So let’s hit the road, Jack (and Jackie).

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