Be More Like Salt Lake City

First, make sure people have nothing to do:

“Gov. Tim Walz said he is still keeping bars, restaurants, gyms and salons closed, though June 1.”

Keep racial tension stoked:

“The attacks on Ilhan Omar reveal a disturbing truth about racism in America.” – Vox

Act surprised about violence following the apparent wrongful death of a black man in Minneapolis.

Shocking.

Your job now is to get out there and protest responsibly. Like they do in Salt Lake City.

“Utah Against Police Brutality has organized a car-caravan protest "National Day of Protest" Saturday.”

Everybody will remain in their car, maintain social distancing and wear a face mask at all times.

Be more like Salt Lake.

We’re All Marxists Now

Gregg Opelka has an opinion piece in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, Marxist Economic Policy—as in Groucho, in which he exposes the unintended consequences of the country’s ongoing Wuhan Cooties economic policy of shutdown and compensation:

We’re all Marxists now. Not Karl, Groucho. There’s a famous sketch in “Animal Crackers” (1930) in which Groucho (as Captain Spaulding) quizzes Chico (Signor Emanuel Ravelli) on how much money the band gets paid. “What do you fellas get an hour?” Groucho asks. “For playing we get $10 an hour,” Chico replies.

Groucho presses: “I see. What do you get for not playing?” “For not playing we get $12 an hour. . . . Now for rehearsing, we make special rate. That’s $15 an hour.” Groucho: “That’s for rehearsing? And what do you get for not rehearsing?” Chico: “You couldn’t afford it. You see, if we don’t rehearse, we don’t play. And if we don’t play, that runs into money.”

Thus demonstrating that the Marx brothers, in a  90 year old movie, had a better grasp of Keynesian economics than anyone in Congress has exhibited at any time since.

Opelka, who is also a writer, makes his point with a Marx brothers like appreciation for the theatre of the absurd.

I have a musician friend, Jim. He plays the bass. Jim is a talented man, and his gigging takes many forms—studio recording as well as live performance. As has happened to so many, his entire livelihood dried up overnight in mid-March. After filing for unemployment relief, he was grateful to receive the bulk of his lost weekly income but equally surprised by the unexpected $600-a-week bonus.

Without auditioning for it, Jim has become an unofficial member of Signor Ravelli’s Animal Crackers orchestra. He recently complained, only half ironically, that he doesn’t know how he’ll make ends meet once he can work again.

If we stay the course Congress’ next movie will undoubtedly be a remake of Duck Soup (the story of a bankrupt country handed over to a would-be dictator, in case you’re not a Marx brothers aficionado).

"If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited... This is the land of the free!"

Throwback Thursday: Humble Pie

It’s Throwback Thursday and I’ve got nothing. Except this old timey strawberry rhubarb pie I made:

My neighbor gave me some rhubarb that her mother grows here. Mom and step-dad are in their 80’s and departed for their home in St. George at the beginning of the Wuhan Cooties and haven’t returned since leaving stand after stand of beautiful crimson stalks untouched.

And when I  say “crimson stalks” I mean red, through and through:

It might be one of the old heirloom varieties of red rhubarb that, if grown correctly – proper soil pH, regularly divided, full sun – produces spectacularly, solidly red stems. It’s gorgeous stuff. I’ve honestly never seen a batch that wasn’t predominantly green in the middle regardless of the color of the outer stalk.

I should mention that I love rhubarb, the way it retains it’s inherently tart character even when sugared generously – just like a lot of us. I wanted to do this handsome lot justice so I decided to use a recipe for strawberry rhubarb pie I saw in this month’s issue of Cooks Illustrated which required the cooking of the rhubarb along with some of the strawberries and sugar before putting it in the pie shell.

It also called for the use of instant tapioca as the thickening agent rather than cornstarch or flour. I subbed tapioca flour (1.5:1 instant tapioca) which I just happened to have on hand because I had picked some up at an Asian market awhile ago for who-knows-what and never used.

The point of the cooking step is to reduce the amount of liquid in the fruit before baking so your filling is not too runny. It took me much longer than the recipe indicated, like 3 times as long, to reach the recommended volume. The cooked portion is then added back to the remaining 3 cups of strawberries and dumped in the shell.

As you can see, it’s still plenty runny, hence the addition of the tapioca (in the cooking step).

After an hour in the oven at first 450 degrees, and then 375 degrees – it really is fussy for a pie recipe - I’m pleased to report that, despite the extra work and cleanup of the cooking step, my efforts were rewarded.

I was quite pleased with the still tart-sweet, gorgeous ruby red end product. As you can see it was still juicy enough to provide some delicious syrup to flavor the vanilla ice cream served up along side.

Here’s my secret, not-so-Throwback-Thursday part: I use Pillsbury pie shells. They are foolproof and better than any pie crust I could ever make. They should give me stock in the company for all the Pillsbury Dough Boy converts I’ve made.

A bow to the past, a nod to the present and hope for the future. No matter what, we will always have pie.

Warning: Killer Asteroids Headed Our Way

More news from space you can’t use; this time it’s gravity. Apparently Earth is losing its grip:

Earth’s magnetic field, critical to all life, may be in danger from 'leaking core'

Of course if you read beyond the sensational headline you will discover that not only is it leaking, “but that it has been for about 2.5 billion years.” So our task is monumental: that’s a helluva curve that needs flattening.

And that’s not even the bad news:

Unexplained anomaly weakening Earth’s magnetic field is EVOLVING and SPLITTING in two, warn scientists

The European Space Agency (ESA) has deployed its constellation of satellites to investigate unusual weaknesses in Earth’s magnetic field. It appears that the strange anomaly believed to be responsible is now evolving and splitting in two.

That’s worse than a mutating virus. But once again, as they say, read the whole thing. If you do you’ll discover that this too is a natural phenomenon and has occurred before, most likely many times.

Indeed, the Earth’s magnetic field is known to flip the poles altogether every few hundred thousand years, and we are now long overdue such a flip. This recent unexplained magnetic activity(in) the Atlantic may be a sign of an impending flip…

It’s completely out of our hands, just like Earth’s previous periodic warming and cooling cycles that have occurred repeatedly over many millennia, but the danger is imminent. And you should be afraid, very, very afraid:

For now, the effects of this anomaly are restricted to technical malfunctions aboard spacecraft and orbital satellites. However, because Earth’s magnetic field shields us from solar winds and cosmic radiation, it’s a critical part of our planetary defense system, along with our atmosphere, which protects us from daily asteroid bombardment.

So until such time as scientists can reach consensus on 1) which one of the poles should be designated ‘North’ in perpetuity, 2) how our burning of fossil fuels is causing the shift currently underway and 3) Al Gore can get in on the selling of magnetic core credits, the entire planet will remain vulnerable to asteroids falling out of the sky due to manmade malfunctioning gravitational forces.

Incoming: killer asteroid!

And we only have 20 years left to figure it out. In the meantime scientists recommend that you take all necessary precautions: stay home as much as you can, wash your hands frequently, wear a facemask and get a hard hat.

Propeller optional, but highly recommended.

Surviving the Pandemic

There is another worldwide pandemic that you might not be fully aware of, as news coverage is purely anecdotal.

Just so you know…

Of course that will require me to adopt a new rule pertaining to social distancing.

and a new cleaning and sanitation procedure.

Memorial Day 2020

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." —Winston Churchill

As we do on this day each year, we pause to remember the men and women who died fighting for our freedom.

We stand by humbly, gratefully, silently, to honor their sacrifice.

We remember…

We mourn for those lost…

And we mourn for those they’ve left behind…

As we reflect once again on the the steep price of freedom.

if you’re lucky enough to live someplace where picnics, parades and celebrations have not been outlawed by fiat, by all means enjoy them as today is a holiday after all. But do pause to remember and honor all the brave Americans across the centuries who gave their lives in the ongoing fight for freedom - a thought that holds special resonance in a year that has seen so many petty tyrants crawling out of the woodwork to use Coronavirus as an excuse to suspend our constitutional freedoms.

These enemies of freedom will always be in our midst and will always be a threat to liberty. God willing, America will always be there to vanquish freedom’s adversaries. 

“Above all, we must realize that no arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. It is a weapon that we as Americans do have. Let that be understood by those who practice terrorism and prey upon their neighbors.”  -  Ronald Reagan, First Inaugural Address, 1981

- Original posted May, 2015

Save Your Big Little Lies For the Next Pandemic

     

 

Ooh, ooh ooh – do Obama next!

So cherish that one moment in time when the Fact Checkers told the truth themselves. And as for the WaPo’s Big Little Book of Lies, save it for the next Chinese-incubated toilet paper shortage.

Michigan Needs More Blue Dogs

WTF, Governor Grunhilda?

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer just extended Michigan’s stay-at-home order for the 5th time, this time until June 12 and the state of emergency until June 19.

Despite declaring that we’ve flattened the curve, Whitmer said the extension is about avoiding a second wave of coronavirus.

It’s not like she didn’t warn her subjects that they would pay for that protests against her authority. First on April 17th:

Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer said Thursday evening that the "irresponsible actions" of protesters in her state this week could lead to an extension of stay-at-home orders. Demonstrators descended on the state Capitol in Lansing Wednesday after Whitmer extended Michigan's stay-at-home order through April 30.

"It's that kind of irresponsible action that puts us in this situation where we might have to actually think about extending stay-at-home orders, which is supposedly what they protesting," Whitmer, a Democrat, said in an interview with MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. CBS

True to her word, she then extended the Lockdown and Emergency Order until May 15th. But the hoi polloi refused to heed her warnings and returned again on May 14 while the legislature was in session – some of them armed (!) –

Dangerous Dissidents Descend on the Michigan Capital

to protest against the governor's stay-at-home order, arguing that it impinges on their personal freedoms, and they want to return to work.  

Such ungrateful riffraff, who do they think they are anyway? So Grunhilda warned them again, and to prove she could she signed an executive order extended the lockdown until again through May 28th. That was one day after Republican state lawmakers sued the Guv over a previous extension of Michigan's state of emergency, arguing that she had usurped power from the state legislature.

Apparently emboldened when a Court of Claims Judge sided with her against the Legislature she decided to eff with her subjects again and announced yesterday that, by Gubernatorial edict, the Stay At Home order has again been extended until June 12th. Despite having flattened the curve. Despite having just announced the day before several changes to the stay-at-home order that has been in place since March, “allowing” social gatherings of 10 people or less and telling retail retail businesses they can reopen to customers for shopping by appointment. Some people might find these edicts confusing and contradictory, but I guess that’s because they’re stupid or something.

Oh, and also by edict the Guv lifted constraints in the UP and certain tourist-heavy areas like Traverse City/Leelanau in norther Michigan where as of 12:01 a.m. yesterday, bars, restaurants and other businesses and offices to open to customers.

So peons, you can just stay home and fire up the BBQ this holiday weekend, secure in the knowledge that your Governor will be relaxing at her summer home in northern Michigan. Oh, and she’ll be having a graduation party for her daughter. How nice.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think what this country needs a new meme. Karen has been maligned enough. It’s time for a Gretchen. Sort of a cross between a Lucy Van Pelt,

and the devil in the Blue Dress.

Fabulous prize for the best meme submission!

Because Michigan doesn’t need just any wrinkly blue dog; what we really need are more Reagan Blue Dog Democrats.

.