Motown: The City That Can Mess Up a Two Car Parade

Just a side note to this week’s Democratic National Convention: One of Thursday night’s speakers was Michigan's top election official, Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson. As her party stressed the need to “protect voting rights” this fall, Benson touted the virtues and safety of voting by mail.

“There is absolutely zero difference between voting by mail and voting absentee, [except requesting an absentee ballot requires that you be, at a minimum, alive]” Benson said at another point, referencing Republican President Donald Trump's arguments that there are differences between voting absentee and widespread voting by mail.

“Millions of Americans have been voting absentee for decades, [even after they’re dead]” Benson said. "Donald Trump, his family, his staff, they all vote by mail." – Detroit News

Benson’s position is interesting whereas she reported just a week earlier that over 10,000 otherwise legitimate ballots in Michigan’s August 4th primary were invalid and could not be counted due to late arrival or invalid signatures.

“With turnout and absentee ballot numbers expected to double or even triple in November, we could be looking at tens of thousands of Michigan citizens disenfranchised if the Legislature again fails to act.”

Then yesterday, a day after her spot at the DNC, all four members of the State Board of Canvassers blasted problems with counting ballots in Detroit's primary election as “alarming” and “concerning.” To be specific, 72% of Detroit's absentee ballot counts were off, meaning that the number of ballots tracked in precinct poll books did not match the number of ballots counted. Beyond the obvious, this is a particularly thorny issue in Michigan because by State law precincts whose poll books don’t match with ballots can’t be recounted. This is a recurring problem in Michigan; in 2016 election officials couldn’t reconcile vote totals for 59% of precincts, 136 of them in Detroit where “significant discrepancies” in votes were noted due to “an abundance of human errors.”

Lest Democrats view the inability to do recounts as a feature rather than a bug,

allow me to remind them that while it might allow the original vote tally to stand, an alternate remedy provides that all of the votes in the out-of-balance precinct could be invalidated. Since most of the out of balance precincts are always in Detroit, where few if any vote Republican, that will benefit - that’s right - Trump! Your arch-nemesis.

Boy, where is Jimmy Carter when we really need him?

Jimmy Carter, monitoring the Venezuelan election, declares Hugo Chávez the winner and the Venezuelan election process "the best in the world." Ooh ooh ooh! Do Detroit next! 

Detroit: the city that can mess up a 2 car parade.

Who Is That Masked Man?

Joey’s acceptance speech was a huge success! The MSM talking heads LURVED it! He was a uniter, not a divider!

 The current president has cloaked America in darkness for much too long.

I will be an ally of the light, not the darkness. It's time for us, for we, the people, to come together.  And make no mistake.  United we can and will overcome this season of darkness in America.

I wasn’t aware that the President was the one backing the Antifa/BLM’s violent riots around the nation. But OMG! Joey’s speech was so OPTIMISTIC!

I will be an ally of the light not of the darkness.

Well not the light so much as an ally of the Lightbringer. But in Dem world that’s the same thing.

Let’s keep all of our bacon off the grill

At least it made the talking heads optimistic:

Joy Reid on MSNBC: '”I think we found out tonight why Donald Trump feared him so much.”

I did note that the speech that was so universally lauded by the media and other elitists was exceedingly short on such frivolous things as policy: nothing to say about immigration, China, the Middle East or violence in our cities. But he is going to cure the Cooties!

“The president keeps telling us the virus is going to disappear. He keeps waiting for a miracle. I have news for him: No miracle is coming.”

“After all this time, the president still does not have a plan, well, I do. If I’m your president, on Day 1, we’ll implement the national strategy I’ve been laying out since March.”

One might ask “what magic wand does he have?”

But if I asked that of Joey that would “show arrogance and be dismissive, even derisive.” And I sure don’t want to be any of those things.

The ‘hope and change’ trope having worn itself out well before Bo and Joey departed the halls of the White House, last night’s speech writer made this campaign’s sloganeering even more amorphous: ‘love and hope and light’ – there’s that light/dark meme again, beautiful in its simplicity, no?

So instead of talking about the things that the real people of America might care about, Joey broke this election down to a simple choice between good and evil.

“the end of this chapter of American darkness began here, tonight, as love and hope and light join in the battle for the soul of the nation.”

In summary then: Old Joe is going to eliminate systemic racism, end war (aside from the ones we’re currently in or any future wars he might wish to declare) and, I think, slow the rise of the oceans.

C’mon man - that’s a storybook right there!

Who is that masked man?

DISCLAIMER: I didn’t actually watch Joey’s speech live but as Gerard told me years ago  “you’d be a pretty pathetic movie critic if you actually had to watch the film in order to review it.” That goes double in journalism.

No Mean Feat, Democrats

Wretched Gretchen, Governor of Michigan, ran on the promise she’d “Fix the Damn Roads!” Classy, no? So it hardly shocked me that she ratcheted up to full Rashida Tlaib mode for the run-up to her Democratic National Convention speech: “it’s not just Shark week, it’s Shark Week mother****ers.”

Gov. Whitmer (D-MI) jokes before going live: "It's not just Shark Week ... it's Shark Week *mouths expletive*" pic.twitter.com/KSndbTvLZi

— The Recount (@therecount) August 18, 2020

Rashida’s déclassé comment has been brushed from YouTube, and Gretchen's will be as well. I only mention it because I wish the Governor would just get busy and get the state operating smoothly again rather than bashing the President. Specifically, I wish she could get the Secretary of State (SoS) offices around here operating at something approximating effective levels. Although I’m sure they are deemed “essential” you can still go to one by appointment only, currently appointments are available in… January, 2021. This wouldn’t be a problem if they’d let you do all transactions on line but they aren’t. Example: we leased a new car at the end of June and bought the old one out of lease because Raj’s brother wants to buy it. We have yet to receive the title in order to transfer it to him. So it sits in the garage, (fully insured), the 30 day tabs expired long ago and when the title finally arrives it must be transferred in person as it is sales tax exempt (family transfer). So shut up Gretchen, and get this state operating again. And by the way, she hasn’t fixed the damn roads yet either.

Other than that, I see Hillary - sporting her old flip hair do, recycled white suit, bug eyes and newly frozen face - took the opportunity last night to remind DNC viewers that she won the popular vote in 2016.

As lovely and charming as ever

Barry was also back, still bashing the President. He looked sad too.

It would seem that once again he’s going to have to campaign harder for the Democrats’ candidate than the candidate her/himself.

Oh, and I guess the the first Asian-American-Black woman on a major party ticket performed her acceptance speech while pretending to be likable.

No mean feat, that.

All the Democrats’ Womyn Are Belong To Us

I didn’t watch any of the Democrats’ virtual Shark Week but I did catch clips of Michelle Obama from Monday night and AOC last night. My observations:

First, both of them have been taking professional coaching lessons in diction and presentation. This generally  implies grooming for additional public exposure. With Lady Mocha Michelle I can only hope that means she’s vying for Becoming the county’s next Oprah on Netflix rather than completing the transformation of America in The Second Coming of the Won (which will also be available on Netflix if and when somebody picks up the option).

“Empathy: that’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. The ability to walk in someone else’s shoes; [unless they are conservative] the recognition that someone else’s experience has value, too. Most of us practice this without a second thought. If we see someone suffering or s[ch]truggling, we don’t stand in judgment. We reach out because, ‘There, but[t] for the grace of God, go I.’” - Lady Mocha

While she could go either way, remember: empathy was Oprah’s super power. That’s how she won the hearts and minds of the white womyn of America and built her formidable empire worth billions. 

In AOC’s case there is no doubt where her ambitions lie. She wants to be the country’s first Hispanic dominatrix.

“In fidelity and gratitude to a mass people's movement working to establish 21st century social, economic, and human rights, including guaranteed health care, higher education, living wages, and labor rights for all people in the United States; a movement striving to recognize and repair the wounds of racial injustice, colonization, misogyny, and homophobia, and to propose and build reimagined systems of immigration and foreign policy that turn away from the violence and xenophobia of our past; a movement that realizes the unsustainable brutality of an economy that rewards explosive inequalities of wealth for the few at the expense of long-term stability for the many, and who organized an historic, grassroots campaign to reclaim our democracy.”

Kind of makes me yearn for the Bill Clinton years when the DNC was the party of soccer moms. They haven’t been represented by females anywhere near as wholesome since.

Heads up, speaking at the DNC tonight: Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Rodham Clinton!

Taco Tuesday Election Year Edition

I have a very early doctor appointment today so let me just drop this dinner heads-up: it’s Taco Tuesday!

Doesn’t matter how you do it – soft, hard, beef, pork, chicken or fish - everybody likes tacos. Even the Kalorama Kouple eat them when they aren’t flapping their jaws about one thing or another.

Joey likes them because of their diversity. He always eats them when campaigning with his best Hispanic pal, Eric Garcetti:

I’d tell you that Kamala is also a taco eater but that seems a bit, um, indelicate.

So let’s talk taco etiquette. Considered a finger food by most people, tacos may sometimes be served with a fork- which can come in handy to keep your taco from falling over, and letting the filling come spilling out all over the place.

Which is probably the real reason you might get one on your plate.

Just ask Donald Trump. Unlike the team he’s running against he’s a law and order guy; a big advocate of securing our borders and otherwise enforcing our laws. And he eats his tacos in a bowl, with a fork…because some things are just safer with a wall around them.

I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message.

I’m Joe, and I don’t have a message. But I’m running for the Senate, or, you know, the thing. Because it’s a story book, man! And I’ll kick your a**. Trust me, it’s a really big f***ing deal!

Police Officer Ties One On

We’ve had our fill of “Bad Cop” stories from the media, how about a “Good Cop” story for a change? This is from my neighboring Michigan community of Novi.

And here’s the news part: the Black guy didn’t even accuse him of trying to put a noose around his neck! Maybe there is hope for racist America after all.

I know it’s really, really hot out there in the West so do your best to stay cool. Even though Squad member Ayanna-Bald-is-Beautiful-Pressley has called you to the barricades: “You know, there needs to be unrest in the streets for as long as there’s unrest in our lives.” 

Alternatively might I advise a hammock in the shade, some ice tea, and a good book. A far more civilized way to allow cooler heads to prevail.

Winslow Homer, Sunlight and Shadow, 1872.

And trust me, there will be ample time to demonstrate in the streets when Trump wins again in November.

We Get It: You’re Mad. And Very Possibly Insane.

This may well become an instant Instapundit classic:

IT MAY TURN OUT THAT NONSTOP OVER-THE-TOP INSANITY ISNT THE BEST RESPONSE TO LOSING AN ELECTION. 

I truly believe a major but ignored story of the last four years can be summed up this way:

"I don't even like Trump, but you're pushing me toward him."

— Anna James Zeigler (@ajzeigler) August 15, 2020

Allow me to present a brief history of that “non-stop over-the-top insanity” referenced:

First there were the tears when news of Hillary’s ‘unexpected’ loss was confirmed by the beloved media.

Tears and sadness swiftly shifted to anger and primal scream therapy.

And they’ve been screaming about something ever since, first in hopes of reversing the election, then in hopes of having the President impeached and now in desperate hope of throwing him out in the next election. The hissy fits have continued non-stop, full-throttled, one outrage after another:

First, the Pink Pussy protest. Because Trump is sexist!

Because “Trump hates women” or something

Majority? No, if you were you’d have nothing to protest

Trump is homophobic! He hates LGBTQs! And Qwerty!

Trump is racist! Build bridges not walls!

Kids in cages!

Whoops, these are Obama’s caged kids. Cancel them.

Russia, Russia, Russia! Collusion, Collusion, Collusion!

‘Peach Foty Fi!

Ukraine!

If at first you don’t succeed…you can run for Congress

Trump is a fascist: Disband ICE!

Sexist Judges! Reject Kavanaugh!

Just say “NO” to Judge Kavanaugh, misogynist Trump stand-in

#METOO!

Handmaidens Against Trump

More Gun Control!

Because Trump wants your children to die – at school!

Coronavirus: Trump lied, people died!

Body bag art. Hey – Do Governor Cuomo next!

I could go on…and on:

Take a knee!

BLM!

Defund the Police!

Federal Agents, out of our cities!

Burn it down! To the ground!!

We get it. You’re mad you lost. And you are very, very poor losers.

And I am so tired of all their passive aggressive “I’m better than you” virtue signaling lawn signs.  This isn’t very charitable of me but  I swear, I’m getting one of these:

Oh, and Epstein didn’t kill himself.

(UPDATED by Raj)

Something Amazing Might Still Happen

This has been a pretty significant week news-wise.

• A historical accord was signed between Israel and the UAE that paves the way for significant changes in the Middle East for the next century. (brokered by President Trump, who doesn’t know what he’s doing)

Surprisingly, it did not involve a pallet of cash

• ANTIFA/BLM continue to riot across America and the left seems perfectly fine with that, still resisting the assistance that Trump has offered in the form of Federal agents.

No, seriously, we’ve got this!

• The 9th Circuit finally (with as assist from a Trump appointed judge) finally gets something right: Federal Appeals Court Throws Out California Ban On Large-Capacity Gun Magazines. The court ruled that the state's "near-categorical ban of [the magazines] infringes on the fundamental right to self-defense." The decision is a blow to gun control activists.

It’s that pesky Constitution again!

• The Crossfire Hurricane story has finally been approved for prime time and it’s been revealed that lead FBI lawyer Kevin Clinesmith changed an email in order to justify a FISA warrant for surveillance of a former Trump campaign adviser. Unfortunately it’s not available for streaming and we have to wait for next week’s installment. Sure don’t want to vindicate Trump to quickly.

  

• Oh, and of course, Joey B selected Kamala as his handler.

Jamala: two bigger lying phonies would be hard to come by – unless we’re talking about a Clinton or an Obama.

So that’s the week so far. Stay tuned, there’s still today and something amazing might still happen. Possibly under the canopy of a tree, and most likely while you are reading a good book.