I Don’t Make The Rules, Hallmark Does (Redux)

You should know that I have a love-hate relationship with Hallmark Christmas movies. I sometimes love the simplistic, mind-numbing love stories with happy endings that require absolutely nothing of you other than your presence. No thinking, emoting, relating or empathizing really required for the 2 hours (or 90 minutes if you record and skip the commercials). You simply need to have the TV on to watch a misguided young woman’s drama as she finds her one true love and the real meaning of life all within 2-3 weeks in television time. It’s Christmas magic!

I hate the shallowness of it all, but for insomniacs it’s a bromide which you can set the TV timer to and nod off to. Completely inoffensive which is more than can be said of most offerings.

So, as it’s seemingly 6 month season finally draws to a close, I re-run the Hallmark Christmas movie post originally from December 31, 2020. It’s not too late to catch one.

I Don’t Make the Rules, Hallmark Does

Hello, my name is MOTUS  and I’m addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies – don’t judge, especially if your idea of a Christmas movie is Die Hard.

In fact, I’m watching one – A Boyfriend For Christmas - as I write this. It is one of the first of 5 Christmas themed movies that Hallmark made way back in 2004. There are now 136 Christmas movies if Wiki is to be believed, although I’m not sure if that includes the whopping 40 new ones they cranked out in 2020 despite the cooties. So I think we can all agree then when I say of Hallmark:

Now when I say I’m “watching” I mean that in the same way I once “watched” Fox and Friends First when I woke up at 5 AM: it is providing a low buzz of background noise as I work on my post. And for about 6 months at this longitude it also provides background light in an otherwise dark bedroom.

Now I’ll bet there are some of you that pride yourselves on never having seen a Hallmark Christmas movie. Too bad, as that means you are unfamiliar with the unique genre in which 15 actors, 2 writers, 5 settings and a plot generator -

are used to create an endless array of escapist movies that are both cheesy and predictable while at the same time as comfortable as a pair of old jeans, assuming they still fit.

Up until this year the movies were, well, embarrassingly middle class and white.

But with BLM’s “encouragement” and the LBGBT community’s shaming, this year’s 40 entrees made up for that. You have never seen so many ethnic characters and mixed race couples enjoying Hallmark romance.

“Memories of Christmas,” “Majestic Christmas,” “Christmas Everlasting”

Plus, the yuletide has certainly never been gayer on the Hallmark channels.

But aside from those new twists, everything else is the same: a plot selected from the matrix above, a conflicted main character meets his or her true love but doesn’t realize it: tension/misunderstanding ensues followed by a happy ending. To say that the movies are formulaic is an insult to formulaic fiction, but then…did you miss the part about a happy ending? Every. Time.

Is there anyone out there who couldn’t benefit from a happy ending once a year or so?

And if you’re still not convinced allow me to point out other benefits of the genre: you can organize a whole evening of games around a Hallmark Christmas movie. There’s bingo of course:

And if that’s not enough there is the Hallmark Christmas Movie Drinking Game, which is basically bingo sans the markers.

So as the New Year approaches, and the Hallmark Christmas Movie season draws to a close – at least until July – you should consider catching one before it’s too late. There are worst things than happy endings you know…

Hijinks ensue.

Or you can just watch Die Hard again I suppose. It does have a happy ending so I suppose it technically qualifies.

Happy endings to one and all!

Christmas 2023

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Raj and I would like to wish all of our wonderful friends here a very, very Merry Christmas. We all deserve to set the world’s burdens aside and simply embrace the beauty and miracle that is Christmas.            

We send our love to each of you and wish you all a wonderful Christmas. Fill it to the brim with all the merry and the bright you can muster. For we are blessed.

 

Generosity and Good Cheer Spread by the MOTI

Christmas was a long time coming to the MOTUS house this year. We didn’t even get the tree out until this week and when we did the result was, well, predictable.

There’s always one naysayer in every crowd

Turned out to be one string that wasn’t plugged in so an easy fix but I was discouraged and let it sit unadorned for several days. We finally got it together when these arrived and shamed us into completing the task.

Two gorgeous His and Her bouquets from the MOTI! So, so big and beautiful. As usual my pictures really don’t do them justice but here’s a closeup of Raj’s.

Deep red and white roses, shiny red/green leaves, hydrangeas, purple thistles and red berries and greens all tied up with a green bow.

And Hers:

Deep fuchsia and white roses, white peonies, red amaryllis, red berries and greens with a burgundy bow.  I know everything doesn’t show up in my pictures but they’re all there! Including pomegranates in both.

 

His and Hers, as beautiful on the backside

And here we are, thanks to all of you, properly decked out. It’s finally looking a lot like Christmas around here. It may have been late coming this year but the MOTUS home is now done up proper, with love and care.

Even my tree,  now lit top to bottom:

and topped off this year by the little wolfie Jettie sent me for my birthday.

Raj and I cannot thank all of you enough for your kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity. You spoil us rotten (butt we love it).

Again, our heartfelt thanks. Now get those ovens fired up: those Christmas cookies aren’t going to make themselves!

As if! (unless you’re Robin)

Winter Solstice: The Beginning Of The End Of Darkness

It’s Throwback Thursday, so how about another repost? This from December 21, 2019:

For never-resting time leads summer on
To hideous winter and confounds him there;
Sap cheque'd with frost and lusty leaves quite gone,
Beauty o'ersnow'd and bareness every where.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 5Originally posted by Lili, wherever you may find her

The winter solstice occurs in the Northern Hemisphere when the sun is directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, or 23.5° south latitude; this year that happens at 11:19 PM EST. It is the shortest day of the year so rise early, although it will still be dark, and have your coffee and breakfast before the sun comes up. You cannot afford to squander even a minute of what has become precious daylight.

Where you live determines the exact amount of daylight you will get today. Sunrise in Detroit is at 7:58 AM, Sunset at 5:03 PM giving us 9 hours, 5 minutes of daylight. I am luckier than some but not as lucky as others.

Which of course is true about nearly every aspect of life; learning to accept and appreciate that fact is one of life’s important lessons.

Each day grows a bit longer now, so we should celebrate the solstice as it is the beginning of the end of darkness. So get out there and enjoy whatever light you are fortunate enough to get.

O, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,
Should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw!

Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 1

Snow at Louveciennes, Alfred Sisley

Nostalgic Christmas Shopping Part II: The Mall

Originally posted (mostly) December 16, 2019

 

It’s time once again to reminisce about the days of Christmas Past when shopping entailed a trip downtown to visit the Five and Dimes and your local department stores. From the heyday of downtowns we transitioned first to the era of suburban malls, enclosed meccas of commerce featuring anchor stores, hot pretzels, cheap boutiques and endless parking lots.

 

That vignette too has morphed into Christmas Past as once great malls have become wastelands of obsolescence. Many now sit empty, awaiting a rebirth.

Somewhere along the line the wizards of marketing decided that people really wanted to be exposed to the winter elements as they did their Christmas shopping. Accordingly commerce complexes moved to even more suburban settings involving an endless collection of Big Box stores congregated around busy intersections, an infinite number of fast food outlets and even more expansive parking lots. This configuration remains a part of the Christmas Present shopping experience but the Big Box era is approaching its own sell-by-date as more and more of the brick and mortars fall by the wayside.  

One by one…

once mighty retailers fall: Sears, Kmart, Circuit City, Bed Bath and Beyond, Toys ‘R Us, etc., etc. – all gone or reduced to online entities.

People are quickly migrating to the convenience of a new Christmas Present model: shopping online and having the  Amazon elves deliver your Christmas gifts right to the front door; either yours or your recipient's.

I’m guessing Christmas Future will bring something even more akin to virtual reality where money changes hands but the physical aspects of selecting, wrapping and delivering actual gifts will be replaced by an email notice and a computer generated image of things your friends and family imagine you’d like.

Every time a bell rings someone gets an internet of things

So enjoy your 7 actual shopping days before Christmas while you still can: soon enough they too will become just another cultural anachronism.

And now, to make it a Christmas Recipe post, here’s the repeat of Raj’s family goulash recipe that always filled a huge pot on the stove on Christmas Eve all night long to welcome late arriving family or friends who just stopped by to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Mom’s Goulash

1 lb. bacon (find a good one that doesn’t have any “natural smoke flavor” added, butt is simply naturally smoked – Oscar Mayer is a decent choice)

3 lbs. ground beef or chuck

4-5 medium onions, chopped

3 large cans of good tomatoes with juice, squeezed by hand into chunks if whole ( or roughly pulsed)

2 stalks celery, finely chopped

1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder

Salt, pepper to taste

1 lb.pkg. of noodles

Chop bacon into small pieces and cook until brown and crisp.

Remove bacon and – now this will scare some people, butt remember, the world is coming to an end anyway – cook the onions in ALL of the bacon grease. When lightly browned, add chopped celery and cook another 2-3 minutes. Place onion/celery mixture in a bowl and set aside.

Return pan to heat and brown the ground beef. Drain most of the fat (if you must) add salt and pepper to taste, garlic powder, tomatoes with juice plus a cup of water, onion /celery mixture (including the bacon grease they cooked in), and reserved bacon pieces. Stir well and bring back to a simmer and let it cook while you prepare the noodles.

Cook noodles according to package directions (don’t forget the salt!). Drain and add immediately to goulash mixture . Stir to combine and continue simmering  pn a very low heat for about 30 minutes, adding a little extra water if it begins to stick.

You can eat it now if you must, and it will be delicious. Butt trust me on this: if you can make it a day ahead and rewarm it slowly the next day it’s even better!

Gump’s original recipe called for a cup of chopped green bell pepper, butt since nobody in  Raj’s family would eat them, they never once made it into the Christmas Eve pot. I leave it to your discretion, butt I can assure you that it is perfect without them.

Crusty bread, green salad: it’s a humble feast.

Let the feasting begin.

Nostalgic Christmas Shopping

Still nostalgic after all these years:

ORIGINALLY POSTED DECEMBER 15, 2018 

When I was growing up  every town had at least one iconic department store that did Christmas right: fabulous back-lit and magical Christmas displays, often animated, gracing all of their street level windows. In a time before kids were so wired into their iPhones and “social” networks that they missed much of the amazement of the real world, there were all these fabulous windows of mystery and wonder, free for the taking. All it took was a dime bus ride downtown. 

I was very lucky as my hometown, Grand Rapids, MI, had three such emporiums of merchandise, all founded in the late 1800’s:

All now long gone. One of them, Herpolsheimer’s,  however lives on as it has been memorialized in the film version of Chris Van Allsburg’s book The Polar Express.

The old Herp’s, as the locals called it, had what was called  the “Santa Express” – a monorail that ran around the entire basement level of the store during the Christmas season to keep kids occupied as mom and dad shopped.

Santa’s Rocket Express, Herpolsheimer’s 1949

It is said to have served as the inspiration for Van Allsburg’s  popular book.

The old Herpolsheimer’s building,

Print found on Pinterest but tracked down to ArleneFaye

which once housed the inspirational train and window wonders currently houses the Grand Rapids Police Department. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you probably wouldn’t want to take your kids there for a festive Christmas pot pie lunch in their tea room.

And don’t even get me started on the “dime” stores, of which Grand Rapids also enjoyed three:

Print found on Pinterest but tracked down to ArleneFaye

Woolworths, above, at the foot of Monroe, Grants, right next door, and Kresge’s just up a block to the east.

Print found on Pinterest but tracked down to ArleneFaye

Also all gone.

What about your town’s locally owned iconic department stores? Do any of them still exist? Are any of them still in the downtown area? Or is your downtown comprised of restaurants, bars and clubs these days? Just wondering.

Happy Sunday before Christmas MOTI! Be sure to post your favorite Christmas recipes even if you’ve done so before as some of us forget to save things or save them to places we forget about.

And everyone, thank GW. I’m not sure if he invented the “Recipe: DRINK!” game or just popularized it. Either way, have a great day cooking and/or drinking.

Open Thread Thursday

  

“I spill towards the stars in the empty years.”

Anne Sexton, from “Where I Live in This Honorable House of The Laurel Tree”

  

Let’s Get This Party Started!

Thank you to all the MOTI for our care package which arrived from the world famous Katz’s Delicatessen in NYC. I can report that at least one thing in that city still works right.

It arrived frozen on Thursday and we thawed it out slowly for tonight’s feast: Raj’s birthday party! There’s a most excellent chicken noodle soup with fine needle noodles that have the most elegant texture for chicken soup ever.  Then there are 2 packs of pastrami: 1 ‘juicy’ (I think that’s for me) and 1 lean, for the recovering Raj. Since he’s been good and not wined about any of the low fat (but delicious) offerings that either my sister or I’ve served him since he came home he’s earned a lean Pastrami sandwich with low fat Swiss cheese. Mind you Katz’s has the best pastrami in the world. So it’s worth blowing a week’s worth of fat allocation on such a glorious birthday dinner. And as I told Zephyr, the mugs will provide the props for my reenactment of Meg Ryan’s infamous deli orgy. Dinner AND entertainment.

Oh, and Katz’s rye bread is unbeatable, except for my brothers homemade. I’ve already had it as toast for breakfast with jam but there’s no doubt that its true calling is to hold the hanging chards of the mighty fine pastrami sandwich together so you don’t get your hands too greasy. 

Of course, there will be no dessert following this over-the-top feast but I promised to make Raj his now mandatory pear gingerbread upside down birthday cake tomorrow.

Last year’s rendering:

No, it’s not low fat but it IS his birthday (season)! So if we make it through the pastrami without incident he gets his cake – just no whipped cream this year. We will luxuriate in deli-deliciousness tonight and thank you all for  your very kind gift of juicy lusciousness which will be enjoyed for as long as it lasts and remembered fondly for long after that. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. The MOTI are indeed mighty.

So what do you say: let’s get this season’s party started!

Child found at random on the internet, circa 1920s, clearly ready to celebrate

It never gets old for the little tykes.