Throwback Thursday: Humble Pie

It’s Throwback Thursday and I’ve got nothing. Except this old timey strawberry rhubarb pie I made:

My neighbor gave me some rhubarb that her mother grows here. Mom and step-dad are in their 80’s and departed for their home in St. George at the beginning of the Wuhan Cooties and haven’t returned since leaving stand after stand of beautiful crimson stalks untouched.

And when I  say “crimson stalks” I mean red, through and through:

It might be one of the old heirloom varieties of red rhubarb that, if grown correctly – proper soil pH, regularly divided, full sun – produces spectacularly, solidly red stems. It’s gorgeous stuff. I’ve honestly never seen a batch that wasn’t predominantly green in the middle regardless of the color of the outer stalk.

I should mention that I love rhubarb, the way it retains it’s inherently tart character even when sugared generously – just like a lot of us. I wanted to do this handsome lot justice so I decided to use a recipe for strawberry rhubarb pie I saw in this month’s issue of Cooks Illustrated which required the cooking of the rhubarb along with some of the strawberries and sugar before putting it in the pie shell.

It also called for the use of instant tapioca as the thickening agent rather than cornstarch or flour. I subbed tapioca flour (1.5:1 instant tapioca) which I just happened to have on hand because I had picked some up at an Asian market awhile ago for who-knows-what and never used.

The point of the cooking step is to reduce the amount of liquid in the fruit before baking so your filling is not too runny. It took me much longer than the recipe indicated, like 3 times as long, to reach the recommended volume. The cooked portion is then added back to the remaining 3 cups of strawberries and dumped in the shell.

As you can see, it’s still plenty runny, hence the addition of the tapioca (in the cooking step).

After an hour in the oven at first 450 degrees, and then 375 degrees – it really is fussy for a pie recipe - I’m pleased to report that, despite the extra work and cleanup of the cooking step, my efforts were rewarded.

I was quite pleased with the still tart-sweet, gorgeous ruby red end product. As you can see it was still juicy enough to provide some delicious syrup to flavor the vanilla ice cream served up along side.

Here’s my secret, not-so-Throwback-Thursday part: I use Pillsbury pie shells. They are foolproof and better than any pie crust I could ever make. They should give me stock in the company for all the Pillsbury Dough Boy converts I’ve made.

A bow to the past, a nod to the present and hope for the future. No matter what, we will always have pie.

FLOTUS Past and FLOTUS Present Demonstrate the Danger of Gaseous Veggies

 “Hillary, Hillary, Hillary! That’s all I ever hear!” (apologies to Marcia Brady)

It was inevitable; when you’ve been the center of the universe for so long there was bound to be a little blowback when a former FLOTUS tries to take center stage again.

Especially when it’s time to open the Garden of Good and Evil and all the usual paparazzi are busy chasing after the old interloper’s Scooby van instead of filming the ritual of the annual rhubarb dance, (first seen here in 2010:

Getting back to our roots, 2010 edition of the “rhubarb dance” with former Chef Sammy

Oh yeah, it’s a real thing

Except for the dearth of media coverage, this year’s event - which took place on Tax Day - was no different. First we had the arrival of the Queen of the Rutabagas,

Hellooo! I’m baa-ack!

followed by the annual rhubarb dance – a pagan ritual imploring Gaia to protect us from global warming deniers for another year – and finally the planting of this year’s crop of cruciferous vegetables, where they are all laid to rest.

Turnips to the left, rutabagas to the left of left

Most of the actual  planting of the Won’s Victory Garden is conducted by little children who have been inducted from around the country for this special work. Lady M serves as head horticulturist, instructing the children on the proper care and tending of the turnips and a rutabagas. 

What’s the difference between turnips and rutabaga?

I’m glad you asked!

TMI? Okay, let’s keep this simple:

GENERAL:

They are both root vegetables and a part of the Brassica genus.

The confusing part is that there are many similarities: they’re both root vegetables, and share a similar shape, colour, texture and flavour. However, there are many differences as well. Here’s a breakdown of the differences between these two awesome root vegetables.

APPEARANCE:

Turnip leaves are usually light green, thin and hairy, while the rutabaga’s leaves are bluish-green, thick and smooth.

Okay, that wasn’t really helpful. What else?

While both turnips and rutabaga can have a purple crown, rutabagas are typically larger than turnips.

Nope, still having trouble here.

Rutabagas have a rough exterior that is normally coated in wax.

photos courtesy of Madame Tussaud’s

Wow! I had no idea this would be so hard! Let’s try one more thing:

TEXTURE:

They share similar textures since they are both root vegetables that are crunchy when raw and have a tender bite when cooked.

Again, I got nothin’ people. I think the only logical conclusion we can draw is - what difference, at this point, does it make?

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Getting Back to our Roots

I just found out we won’t be attending Good Friday services today. We, considerately, don’t wish to disrupt the services for the others you know.

Instead, we had a Druid celebration earlier this week, in conjunction with the planting of our our second annual organic Victory garden. You remember when we planted our first Victory over for the American people last year in our fashionable black boob-belted tunic thingy with boots?

This year, for our second annual Victory over for the American people, the weather was a little warmer, so we wore a lighter weight black ensemble. Remind me to tell Lady M next year that black is not the most practical color to wear for playing in the mud:

What do you think of our new Spanx push-up bra? For those few occasions where boob-belts are not appropriate.

And while I’ve seen a lot since I began to serve the American people in the Big White, I’ve got to tell you, this is the first time I’ve witnessed a dance to rhubarb;

Praise be the Rhubarb!

I guess it’s some kind of multi-cultural Rite of Spring, minus the Stravinsky.

The Rhubarb fertility dance

Here’s our Mod Squad of health, marching towards Victory over for the American people: the High Priestess flanked by her manservant Tom Vilsack, and sacrificial lamb Kitty Sebelius:

And while I’m all in favor of everyone having their own organic garden, in this economy I don’t think everyone is going to be able to afford to hire enough illegal aliens to do all that composting, watering and weeding. 

 

Lady M, wrangling with what looks like a giant centipede. Turns out it’s just a flat of organic rutabaga seedlings.

 

 

 

 

We’re already planning  next year’s Big White Food TV special. Of course we hope to use our own veggies this time.

Oh, and I know you’re curious about our Keds:

Standard issue, size 13.

Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons

The excitement was palpable:

Lady M arrives in the Garden of Good and Evil

As is our practice, we imported kids for the annual planting party and since this is our last year to plant the seeds to WTF, this time we imported most of them from key swing states.

And no, before you ask, the Wee Wons were not in attendance; they have their own school field trips – to Brazil, I think, to observe the annual sugar cane harvest being converted into alternate fuel.

It’s a science project

Or maybe they’re going to Turkey, to get a few pointers from President Erdogan’s daughters on proper dress (that they don’t seem to be getting from their own Mom).

 Sumeyye Erdogan demonstrates how to properly greet Bono, covered head to foot

When Big Guy met with his BTFF a few days ago to discuss Syria and Iran they also discussed the Wee Wons.

“The bottom line is that we find ourselves in frequent agreement upon a wide range of issues… [and] because he has two daughters that are a little older [ed. 17 and 19 years older, to be exact] than mine — they’ve turned out very well, so I’m always interested in his perspective on raising girls.”

Barry Rubin, an expert on Turkish politics, was a bit more circumspect about the conversation: 

By openly acknowledging Erdogan’s advice on child-rearing, Obama “didn’t realize what he’s saying,” said Barry Rubin.

Obama likely made the error, Rubin said, “because he is so unselfconscious and is not used to having to think through his remarks.”

A wink and a player

Still, “it is shocking that [Obama suggests] he takes child-raising advice from a radical Islamist,” whose wife dresses in black cloaks or tight headscarves when traveling in the West, said Rubin.

Overall, the White House statement about the meeting “goes beyond polite praise and good manners and practically slobbers over a repressive, pro-Iran leader whose hatred for Israel is literally hysterical,” said Rubin.

Sheeze, who’s being hysterical now?

Besides, Erodogon’s eldest daughter is a great role model for the Wee Won’s, she’s already graduated college:

Sumeyye and her proud Mom

and is planning a political career with the help and coaching of her father, and any future husband, who will have help guiding her career with the help of this essential book:

Finally, a book on the proper keeping and beating of your wife

Butt I digress: back to the garden party: our imported props students helped Lady M plant potatoes, spinach, broccoli, carrots, radishes, onions and mustard. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Oh good! This year we got enough mustard greens!

For the occasion we chose casual stretchy (because of all the crouching and bending) capris, a J Crew paisley tone on tone tee, one of our signature mini-me-cardis and our blue suede sneakers.

If it’s Keds, you know it must be the election season. Previous garden events featured Jimmy Choos:

           

…and Tory Burches:

Lady M kicked off the planting party with a few inspirational words:

MRS. OBAMA: Well, I don’t know if you know, one of the reasons why we plant the garden is that it's an important way to have a good conversation about your health. [ed. why else would you plant a garden?] Because one of the things that I've been trying to do as First Lady is work on an initiative that I call Let’s Move.  Have you guys heard about Let’s Move?

AUDIENCE: Yes!

MRS. OBAMA:  And what’s it all about, Let’s Move?  All right just yell it out -- exercise, good eating, getting healthy.  That’s right, because we guys want you to grow up healthy.  And the garden is a good way to start the conversation, because vegetables and fruits are a big part of a healthy diet.

And by “we guys” she means the US government.

Sadly, though, no “rhubarb dance” for this year’s Rites of Spring.

Chef Sammy and Lady M lead the children in the “Rhubarb Dance” during the Rites of Spring in the 2010 planting

Some voters wrote to Lady M, complaining about it being a pagan ritual and, as I mentioned, it’s an election year so we nixed the dance this year in favor of something a little less controversial:

We switched back to a tree worship ceremony, a more mainstream practice in the secular church of Global Warming.

We get down and dirty with our signature “crouching tiger, hidden dragon” gardening move

Here Lady M demonstrates how to plant tiny seed potatoes now, in HOPE of a big harvest in the future:

Anyway, as with most of these events, it seemed like it was over before it even got started, and Lady M was off to tend to her next sacrifice for America.

Lady M, Leavin’ Eden. You all carry on, you hear?

She needs to help Big Guy figure out how to wiggle out his latest gaffe about “flexibility” which apparently the R-words – being the rigid iconoclasts that they are – have their panties in a bundle over.

Or maybe they’re just upset about the creepy hand holding with Demitri

You know, Big Guy’s off-hand remark to Demitri about staying flexible until after he wins his last election in November?

Well, maybe we’ll all have more flexibility after November 6, 2012. Let’s HOPE so.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Dancing With America’s Czars

I see Weasel Zippers dug up an old picture of Lady M from her modern dance class in high school and is passing it off as “newly discovered” Moochabilia. Well unfortunately, it’s not new to me, it’s been sitting here on my hard drive, making me twitchy since the “Wonce and Only” mooved in.

In case you haven’t figured out by now, dancin’ is Lady M’s life. She does it everywhere, all the time. It’s just in her genes. (Is that racist?) She takes to it like a turnip to vinegar. Is that even an expression – outside the Middle East I mean?

 

Tasty pink turnip pickles

This should come as no surprise. As you may recall, Lady M danced her way into this job (as did Big Guy).

and she intends to dance out too. When she’s good and ready.

In the interim, so far, we’ve danced across America,

Europe,

India,

   

…with and without Big Guy

Latin America,

 

and Africa

ll you want to know how much Lady M loves dancin’ all you have to do is check out how many times I’ve reported on her mooves right here. Just a few of many examples:

Dancin’ in the O-zone:

The world famous rhubarb dance in Getting Back to our Roots:

Transformed just last month as a tree worship dance in Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons:

Or how about way back in September of 2010 when we had an evening devoted to Lady M’s love of dance? We invited the legendary Judith Jamison - remember how my memory chip  momentary mixed her up with porn star Jenna Jamison? Boy, that was embarrassing!

JJ and her cantaloupes

Fall for Dance: 100% Pornography Free:

     

“I could 'a been somebody! Instead of a bum. Because that’s what I am. I could 'a been a contender! If only I’d been shown that trap door.”

Then there was the modern dance grant that Big Guy’s stimulus dollars funded, at Lady M’s behest (covered here in my Dressing Up Our Summer of Recovery):

North Carolina’s $762k Computer Choreography. So much for Rage Against the Machine.

UNC said they needed the dance stimulus grant to “define an evolving system that assists in the design and production of interactive dance performances with real-time audience interaction.”

Dude: it’s called a “club.” They have them in nearly every city outside of the Middle East.

And if you don’t believe me, just ask the Secret Service guys assigned to Big Guy.

Then there was the Platypus Dance:

    

And who can ever forget the Dougie? Ever. Here, in Risky/Not Risky:

And again, later in my Diptych Trip Tic dispatch:

The chartreuse blouse sort of grows on you, doesn’t it?

And here’s one of my personal faves, because it includes both Lady M’s dancing skills and Big Guy’s, uh, talents too: She’s a Rich Girl, She Don’t Try to Hide It?

He's a poor boy
Empty as a pocket
Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose
Sing ta na na
Ta na na na
She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes
She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes
Diamonds on the soles of her shoes
Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

So I wrap up this dance review of the Wonce and Only’s dancin’ on graves across America and around the world with a couple of observations:

BO said after Osama’s demise at the hands of the Navy Seals that there would be no spiking of the ball in the end zone. So apparently that is NOT Big Guy dancing in the end zone in that “Romney is so uncool he never would have made the tough call to take Osama out” ad.

So I’m hearing a lot of people saying this could be Big Guy’s politics of fear “It’s 3:00 AM, who do you want to answer the call?” ad.

All I can say is the call came in closer to noon, EST, and Big Guy wasn’t asleep. He was on the golf course. So after 5-6 hours of consulting with his top advisors, conducting a quickie poll and focus grouping the options, he finally received the go ahead from Lady M and boldly said, “OK.”

Butt he’s probably right, Romney wouldn’t have made that call. He probably wouldn’t have made his troops call home to get mommy’s permission before doing the job they were sent to do.

So all’s well that ends well, don’t you think? Bin Laden is dead, Big Guy is a hero, and as for Lady M, well it appears all those years of practice finally paid off -

 

And she too has reached her life’s goal:

Finally! I found that trap door! And now, here I am - in front of the klieg lights!

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